Solstice - A Twilight Based Sequel - Book One
by kearsonistheone
Summary: UPDATED: Six years ago, the Cullen clan and their friends stood against the Volturi in defense of their newest member, Renesmee, the half-human half-vampire daughter of Bella and Edward Cullen. What happened after the events in Breaking Dawn? Will Jacob's imprinting on Renesmee lead to more than friendship? Will the Volturi return for revenge? Is forever really forever?
1. Table of Contents

UNOFFICIAL SEQUEL

to

The Twilight Saga

Book One

SOLSTICE

Written by

Kearson Mary Albrecht

Based on The Twilight Saga

by Stephenie Meyer

CONTENTS

PREFACE

THE LONGEST DAY

TAG, YOU'RE IT

INTRODUCTIONS

A MASTERPIECE

CARPE DIEM

NIGHT FALLS

STRANGLED HOPE

EMERALD ISLE

A STRANGE WIND

RUN FOR COVER

THE LONGEST NIGHT

DRIFTING AWAY

SPIRAL

THE FINAL HOUR

BREATHLESS

WE ALL FALL DOWN

EMPTY ECHO

NO TURNING BACK

UNWOVEN

HOUSE OF CARDS

SAYING GOODBYE

EPILOGUE: STANDING GROUND

"Some beings beset by raging thirst

drink of our blood as if they'd burst;

then add insult to injury

by acting as if it comes for free."

-adapted from 'Hey You'

by EJ Albrecht


	2. Preface

PREFACE

They say all good things must come to an end. In my human life I knew that to be painfully true. I never wondered how such a sentiment translated over to the eternal world of vampires. Perhaps I should have. It's not something many consider before being turned; nor is it something many can bring themselves to confront after being turned. So many think that 'immortality' equates to 'forever'. But forever, I have learned, is an elusive goal.

Now I know.

All good things must come to an end, no matter who you are. Forever is promised to no one, not even vampires.


	3. The Longest Day

CHAPTER ONE

THE LONGEST DAY

The sun was beginning to show its first traces in the sky when I walked into the kitchen of the home of my parents, Carlisle and Esme Cullen. I had not slept at all the preceding night, but it did not bother me. I had not slept in over one hundred years. It was one of the mixed blessings, or curses, of being a vampire. Despite what has been written in fiction novels, vampires do not sleep in coffins during the day. We are always awake. There really is no time of day to be safe from a vampire.

My dearest wife, Bella, had not slept either. She had not slept a wink in the seven years since she had been turned. She ran her hand across her forehead rubbing the widow's peak in the center. Her narrow jaw led to a pointed chin, with lips a bit too full for her slim jaw line. Her large eyes were widely spaced, with prominent cheeks and thin nose. Her body was slender but not muscular. She was the picture of perfection.

This morning she had an air of serious business with her furrowed brow and her cell phone to her ear. She tapped her fingers on the marble counter as her mother Renee's cell phone rang on the other end of the line with no answer. Maybe Renee lost her charger again, or dropped her phone in the toilet, again. Renee Dwyer and technology never did seem to make good bedfellows.

Bella glanced up at me with her amber eyes. At six feet two inches I was almost a foot taller than she was, standing in her bare feet. She ran her fingers through my bronze hair and smiled, saying "Edward, I swear, if my mom misses this flight-" Her vow was interrupted by Renee's breathless greeting.

"Hello, Bella!" gasped Renee over the line. She sounded as if she had been frantically searching for the phone as it rang.

"Hi, Mom. I was making sure you're going to make your flight." Bella had always been more of the parent in the relationship with her mother. Where Bella had been steady and responsible, Renee had been flighty and capricious. Bella harbored no ill will toward her mother for the exchange of roles, but I had wondered more than once how Bella's life might have been different if the roles had been as they should have.

"Yes, yes, I am on my way. Phil got permission from his coach for time off, so he's coming too." Bella's step dad, Phil Dwyer, was a minor league baseball player. I held a special fondness for him since he was the catalyst for Bella moving to the town of Forks in her junior year of high school. This is where I first met her, and my eternal life was forever changed.

Phil's need to travel with the team made it necessary for Bella to come to Forks, Washington to live with her biological father, Charlie Swan, so that her mother could travel with her new husband. Bella had known that she would miss her mother, but she wanted her to be happy. It wasn't the first time Bella had selflessly given for another's happiness, and it definitely was not the last. Bella's past was blanketed with instances of sacrifice for what she believed in and for the ones she loved.

"Good. Don't forget, it is flight 435 at Gate G and it leaves in 2 hours so you need to get there to get through security. Edward and I will pick you up at the airport. Unless you've changed your mind about getting a rental car?" Bella asked.

Renee chuckled, "I know Phil could just as easily drive us from the airport to Forks, but I want to spend every minute possible with you, Bella. And besides, there is no point spending money on a rental car when we would all be together the entire visit anyway."

Picking up Renee and Phil from the airport in Seattle was not likely to cause any problems since my sister, Alice, had seen that the weather would be overcast across the state today. Having a vampire who could see the future was rather convenient most of the time. The last thing we needed was for the sun to come out and have Renee, Phil, or anyone else for that matter, see our skin as it truly is. In unfiltered sunlight our skin would shine like diamonds, glistening their warning sirens of our true nature.

Hiding our vampire traits here in Forks was easy since the weather was usually overcast. Venturing out into the 'real' world always took planning and coordination to ensure the proper level of subterfuge.

"Alright, but can you drive? Don't get me wrong, I love Edward, but he drives like a maniac." Renee said the last in a whisper as if I would hear her over the phone. Of course I did hear her because of my enhanced hearing, but she did not know that. We had managed over the last seven years to keep our secret from Renee. She had no idea that every member of the Cullen family was a vampire, including her daughter. The only exception being Renesmee, Bella's and my hybrid vampire-human daughter.

Renesmee had been conceived when Bella was still human. Bella had given her human life to carry and deliver Renesmee. Keeping the secret had been no easy feat, to be sure.

I had to laugh at Renee's comment, though, because she was right. I do drive like a maniac by human standards. Driving slow is boring and torturous when you are capable of moving faster than human eyes and minds can comprehend.

"Okay, Mom, I'll drive, but you need to get to the airport." Bella said, smiling and giving me a knowing sideways glance. The first time she had ever driven with me she had insisted that I drive the speed limit. After all, her father was the chief of police, so she felt an obligation to follow the laws. It was irritating and yet it was endearing as well.

"I'm leaving now I love you bye." Renee said with excitement, stringing her words together as a single sentence with no vocal punctuation.

"I lo…" Renee had hung up before Bella could finish. At least Renee was taking Bella seriously about catching the flight. "Alright then, my mom is on her way. If we leave in 4 hours, we should get there right as she lands if you drive reasonably." she smirked. "Where is Renesmee?" she wondered aloud.

"I think she is still out at the cottage." I said as I watched Bella pace the kitchen while reviewing her list of things to do. She really didn't need the list; as vampires we have perfect memories. It was a habit she had adopted to make herself seem more human.

"Will you go get her, please? I hate it that our cell phones don't work out there." This wasn't the first time Bella had lamented our lack of cell service in the far part of the woods where our cottage was located away from the main house. Unfortunately, we lived in a small town on the Olympic Peninsula of Washington with minimal population. Cell phone companies were not inspired to spend their money making sure people could make phone calls in the forest.

I had offered to bribe the appropriate people to have a tower installed, but Bella said that was an abuse of our financial status. Not to mention that something like that would inevitably draw unwanted attention to our family. Forks was too small of a town for word of something like that to stay a secret. Installing a landline to the cottage would have involved tearing through too much of the wilderness between the house and the cottage, so that idea was rebuffed as well.

The cottage was far enough from the house that Renesmee could not hear us when we called. She had hearing more advanced than a human, but not as heightened as a vampire.

I stepped outside and saw Jacob Black's motorcycle in the driveway. Even if it hadn't been there, I still would have known that he had been here recently. Being a werewolf, Jacob had a distinct, unpleasant odor that only vampires could smell. In fairness, we smell awful to werewolves as well. Vampires and werewolves are supposed to be natural enemies. However, my family had made a career of flying in the face of standard supernatural social constructs.

Jacob hadn't come into the main house, so I could only assume he had gone straight out to the cottage with Renesmee. Since he had imprinted on her right after she was born, he had always been vaguely aware of her presence. It wasn't as good as GPS, but it got the job done for his purposes. I felt I had a decent grasp of the concept of imprinting and its implications in general, and I knew that Jacob would die to protect my daughter if it ever came down to it, but the protective father in me raged at the thought of the two of them being alone in the cottage.

Over the last year, Renesmee had grown from an awkward preteen to an almost full grown woman due to her vampire-human hybrid accelerated growth rate. As her father, it was unsettling to see it happen so fast. Thankfully, Renesmee still seemed to view Jacob as a friend, but I knew from Alice's visions that they might end up together as more than that. I felt the need to keep that from happening too soon, if at all. I had more than once wondered if it was merely fatherly concern or if it was something more, considering my history with Jacob.

As I neared the cottage, I could hear Jacob and Renesmee talking. Despite the fact that the cottage was constructed mostly of stone that seemed as if it must have grown from the rock in the landscape, I could still hear through the walls and through the arched wooden door that was flanked by deep set windows. I paused to hear what they were saying. Their conversation did not halt, so I knew that they had not heard my approach.

As a vampire with the ability to read minds, I had developed a keen sense of respect for people's privacy since it was so easy for me to invade the most precious of privacies: the inside of someone's mind. Of course, that all went out the window as my daughter got older and more desirable to those of the opposite sex. I did feel guilty eavesdropping, but I reasoned that I was doing it to protect her. I wouldn't have to do it forever; just until she was old enough. Though what age that might be was a topic I had yet to address with my fatherly reasoning.

"Whether your parents like it or not, you are able to make your own decisions." Jacob said.

"Exactly my point! I know they care. I know they worry because they are parents and it's their job, but it's almost insulting now. I want to see the world, experience things, without them hanging over me like I'm made of glass." Renesmee lamented.

"I could take you. We could go together and see all of the great places on Earth." Jacob said, with hope in his voice.

"Jacob, I appreciate the offer, but it wouldn't be the same as doing it on my own." Renesmee laughed.

"It's dangerous to travel alone, Renesmee." Jacob warned. I could see Jacob imagining a group of men attacking Renesmee. It made me think of the time I had to rescue Bella from a group of drunks one night in Port Angeles when she was still human and painfully fragile. Remembering that moment filled me with a murderous rage.

I came to the cottage and entered through the front door more forcefully than I should have. Its creaking protests accompanied the wind that blew papers across the living room as the door opened, startling Jacob and Renesmee. Jacob had leapt to his feet, almost hitting his head on the low ceiling and the long exposed beams that adorned it, and braced himself in front of Renesmee.

His black hair was tied back into a short ponytail high at the back of his head. The sides of his hair were cut short. His copper skin was stretched taut over his muscular frame. At least we had managed to get him to wear clothing over the last few years. When he had first started phasing, he ran around in nothing but shorts and sneakers. It made it easier for him to phase, but it wasn't exactly appropriate at all times, especially as Jacob got older.

Even though he was now technically twenty-four, his aging had slowed over the last few years due to his being able to phase, so that he still looked closer to eighteen than not. I had to look up at him, since he was taller than me by five inches, a fact that I knew gave him great satisfaction. His brown eyes were locked on mine. When he realized I had been the one to burst through the door, he relaxed, but only slightly.

"Edward. Is something wrong?" Jacob asked.

"Do you mean other than you being out here alone with my daughter? No. Nothing wrong at all." I said through my teeth.

Renesmee's groan was unmistakable. As she stepped out from behind Jacob she shook her head and the ringlets that hung to her waist bounced back and forth around her in a gentle dance; the bronze color a mirror image of my own hair color. She had her mother's mortal brown eyes and fair skin. "Dad, seriously, is this necessary?" she said.

"Young lady, it is improper for you to be alone with a male that is of courting age." As soon as the words left my mouth, I could hear Renesmee's response before she even thought it, let alone vocalized it. I braced myself for the wave of stubbornness to follow. She was definitely her mother's daughter.

"Dad, this isn't the early 1900s, and even if it were, this is Jacob. It's not like I'm out here with a boy. You have no reason to worry." She stood with her hands on her hips, her eyes locked on mine waiting for my acknowledgement of her logic. She looked so much like her mother when she did that. Especially since they were now the same height. I glanced at Jacob, and although his stance did not change, the look on his face did. The furrow in his brow cleared.

"Please don't tell her." Jacob begged in his head, almost as a reflex.

This was not the first time I had heard this plea from Jacob. Years ago, when Renesmee was still a baby, Bella, Jacob, and I had decided that we would tell Renesmee that Jacob had imprinted on Bella instead of her. We did not want Renesmee to feel like she did not have a choice in her future, and revealing to her this link to Jacob, and Alice's visions, would definitely have given her that impression. We all agreed that she should be allowed to make her own choices without undue influence.

Even though we had all agreed, and every member of our family and member of the pack played along, Jacob was always afraid I would reveal the secret. Though the thought had crossed my mind a time or two, I could never do it.

Jacob had been in Renesmee's life since before she was conceived. I loved my daughter enough to set aside my own feelings for her happiness. Things had worked well with this rouse, and I had no desire to be the one to pull back the curtain to reveal the truth.

"It doesn't matter what year it is or isn't, Renesmee. I am your father, and it is my job to protect you, even if it is only protecting you from the impression of impropriety." I said. "And, your mother wants you, up at the main house."

"Fine." Renesmee said, as she headed for the door. She stopped and gave me a kiss on the cheek before walking out and saying with a smile, "I love you, Dad, but sometimes you really can be antiquated."

"Well, when you get to be my age, then you can judge." I said, returning her smile.

Once she left, I stood looking at Jacob, waiting for Renesmee to be out of hearing distance before speaking. "Jacob, I've warned you."

"Oh lay off already. We weren't doing anything!" Jacob said, rolling his eyes and releasing his stance.

"I'm sure that would change pretty quickly if Renesmee saw you as anything more than a friend." I hissed, taking a step toward him.

"Wow, Edward, you really are paranoid, aren't you? I am here for her as a friend. I know Alice has seen more, but Renesmee is of age and she has given no hint of being interested, so I'm thinking you don't have anything to worry about." he said.

"She turned seven the day before yesterday, so you might want to tone it down with that 'of age'

business." I seethed.

"Okay, man, seriously? Why do you have to go there? First of all, and I'm really getting sick of saying this, I don't look at her like that. I don't have those kinds of feelings for her. Second of all, yes, in human years she is seven. But she is not human. She is a hybrid. At seven they are full grown so she is basically an adult now, for all intents and purposes. And third of all, I don't appreciate you acting like she's a child and frankly, neither does she." he stated.

"She is my daughter, Jacob. Don't stand there and try to explain my daughter to me." I was starting to lose my temper with him. Jacob seemed to be getting worked up as well. I knew I should diffuse the situation before he phased in the living room and ruined the new sofa Alice had recently purchased for the cottage, but I couldn't. He was thoroughly vexing today.

"Apparently someone does need to explain this to you!" Jacob shot at me. "You keep her on a short leash as if keeping her from experiencing things will somehow protect her. Even if she doesn't choose me, she will choose someone some day." Jacob seemed to be only now realizing this as he said it.

"And when she does, I'd like her to be in one piece." I growled.

"I would never hurt her!" Jacob shouted. Then he realized I was referencing something entirely different than Renesmee's safety. "Okay, that is none of your business, Edward. But while we're at it, do you really think so little of me? Of your daughter?" Jacob said with a hint of hurt in his incredulity.

"I think very highly of my daughter." I said, glaring at Jacob.

"Right." Jacob said, catching my backhanded remark. "You know that's rich, coming from you, Edward. Don't act like you and Bella never…"

"You do not want to finish that sentence, Jacob Black." I growled.

Before things could escalate further, Jasper was standing between us. At six feet three inches, he was an inch taller than me, but still four inches shorter than Jacob. Despite his medium build and collar length honey blond hair, Jasper was not one with which to be trifled.

As Jasper looked from me to Jacob, I could feel my anger subsiding. Jasper was Alice's mate and had the ability to affect someone's mood by controlling their hormone levels, heart rates and breathing. Vampires, unlike humans, don't have any such physiological traits to manipulate. Jaspers talents worked on vampires in a way similar to humans, but we could not figure out how or why.

Renesmee must have told Bella I was out here alone with Jacob. Bella had sent Jasper to diffuse the situation. My wife was definitely the more level headed of the two of us these days, especially when it came to Renesmee and Jacob.

"Is everything copacetic, gentlemen?" Jasper said, eyeing us both in turn. "You do realize that if you ruin this couch, Alice will have your guts for garters. She spent weeks finding just the right one for this cottage." Jasper thought. I couldn't tell if he was amused at this thought or concerned. It was probably a little of both, I imagined. Jasper was wholly devoted to Alice and her happiness. Alice was our resident interior decorator. Things like that did not interest me or Bella, so we left it to Alice to update the furnishings as she saw fit. The ability to see the future gave her an uncanny ability to choose things we would like.

"Yes. We're fine." I sighed, stepping back.

"We're cool." Jacob said, shrugging, but not looking away from my stare.

"Good. I've been sent to collect you for a family meeting." Jasper said as he motioned for us to exit the cottage ahead of him. Always such the conciliator, it was hard to believe that in the earlier days of the United States, Jasper had once helped to wage wars rather than prevent them.

We walked into the house and to the kitchen where the rest of the family was gathered. Alice began, "As you all know, Renee and Phil are coming today. Bella and Edward will be picking them up at the airport while we put the finishing touches on everything. They will be getting back to the house after sundown, at which time we will have the barbeque."

We did this every year around Bella's birthday. After Bella was turned into a vampire, we had decided to tell everyone that she had died of some mysterious illness that she had contracted on our honeymoon to Brazil. We had to do it in order to try to keep our lives as vampires a secret. It was important in keeping others safe from the Volturi; the vampire equivalent of royalty. They were the enforcers of the most important law among our kind; keeping the existence of vampires a secret. To say that they frowned upon outsiders knowing the truth of our kind would be a gross understatement.

However, those plans changed when Jacob had taken it upon himself to reveal to Bella's father Charlie that he was a werewolf and that Bella was alive. Jacob never flat out told Charlie we were vampires, but he did explain that we were different. And since Bella's transformation had come about due to the birth of our daughter Renesmee, Jacob had concocted a story about Bella and me adopting an orphan. I had elaborated that it was my niece. My brother had been adopted to another family, and he and his wife had been killed in a car accident, leaving Renesmee an orphan. It was all a lie, of course.

It was a terribly thought out back story that I know Charlie never really bought as truth. And I didn't need my ability to read minds to know that. But Charlie did not want to lose contact with Bella, so he decided not to ask questions.

Once we had told Charlie that Bella was alive, we had to figure out what to do about Renee. It would have been too complicated to try to tell Renee that Bella was dead when she was around town being 'alive' for Charlie's sake. There would be no way to fake a funeral in Forks. In small towns, everyone knows everyone's business. There would be no avoiding her either. Renee would tear the world to the ground looking for Bella if she had to do so.

This yearly barbeque was our solution for visiting with Renee so that she felt connected to Bella without having too much exposure with her. How we would deal with our lack of aging over time was a matter we had decided to address at a later date, and it had yet to become an issue.

Renee and Phil would fly in and we would have a birthday barbeque with food and presents for Bella with everyone invited. Renee and Phil would spend a couple of days here, and then they'd go home. Renee hated Forks, so she was never inclined to spend a large amount of time here. Renee would spend most of her visit with Bella, and Emmett and Phil would hang out and talk sports and cars.

The rest of us tried to make ourselves as scarce as possible without seeming rude in order to keep up appearances, and to keep our secret. Less time spent with Renee meant less chance of her noticing things and asking questions. Whenever Renee would hint, sometimes not so subtly, that we should visit her, we always managed a reason not to do so. It hurt Bella to disappoint her mother, but the alternative of exposure was decidedly worse.

Alice continued planning duties in the kitchen while Bella and I took Renesmee to the garage. Renesmee's birthday was two days before Bella's, so this time of the year was a double celebration in the Cullen household. Renesmee was much like her mother in that she was uncomfortable with being celebrated, but she complained about it a great deal less than her mother usually did.

Jacob followed along as well as we headed to the garage. We had Renesmee close her eyes through the doorway, and then turn her back to the garage to face us.

"Young lady, we know that Jacob has been giving you driving lessons in the Rabbit." I said. Jacob's Volkswagen Rabbit was old and beat up and I was not sure of how safe it was for anyone to be driving, let alone a brand new driver.

"Dad, I..." Renesmee began. I held up my hand to stop her.

"Edward, it's my fault." Jacob interjected, trying to protect Renesmee by turning the blame on himself before Bella put her hand on his arm, shook her head, and smiled.

"We figured if you are going to learn, you should have something a little more adequate." I said and turned her around. There in the garage was a midnight blue Tesla Model X. Renesmee had been obsessed with energy conservation and energy alternatives and insisted that we should be as well. She was right. After all, as vampires we were more likely to be alive hundreds of years down the road, so we should feel more invested in having a habitable planet.

After test driving the vehicles, Carlisle had purchased a white Tesla sedan, and Bella had purchased a purple one. They had specifically requested delivery after the barbeque so as not to raise suspicion with Renesmee.

Renesmee squealed with delight and wrapped her arms around my neck like she used to when she was younger. "Thank you, thank you, thank you!"

"Hey! I had a hand in it too, you know." Bella said with a smile. At first Bella had been hesitant about buying a car for Renesmee. However, she could hardly argue since Charlie had bought her a vehicle when she had come to Forks. Besides, there was no way I was going to let her continue to drive that deathtrap of Jacob's.

"Thank you, Mom and Dad. This is beautiful!" I handed her the key fob and she skipped to the driver's side door and hopped in. It felt amazing to see her so happy. "Is this why you let Jacob take me to Portland then other day in mom's car?"

"Guilty." I laughed. "We all went to Seattle to get your Tesla. The charging station won't be installed until tomorrow, so you probably shouldn't go crazy driving around today, as tempting as it may be. Once you can charge it, you can use it to practice on a regular basis."

"And there is one more thing." Bella added.

"More?" Renesmee said has she stepped out of the Tesla. "I doubt you can top this one."

"I don't know if it will top it, necessarily." I muttered.

Bella shook her head at me with a smile before turning to Renesmee. "Renesmee, we know that you think we suffocate you. As a growing woman, we understand why you would feel this way. It's not our intent to make you unhappy. I know that we can seem overprotective, but it's not just because we are parents.

We know that despite the fact that we can possibly live forever, we know that we cannot protect you forever. Eventually, you may want to go off and be your own person and live your own life. So, in order to better prepare you for what is out there, we have asked your Uncle Jasper to give you self-defense lessons." Bella finished.

"Really? You're not joking?" Renesmee breathed.

"Not joking." I replied. "We know you've been studying it for a while, and we want to make sure you know what you're doing. What you have been studying is great for fighting humans, but in addition to that, you have to know how to fight vampires and other creatures." I glanced at Jacob. "Perhaps Jacob wouldn't mind helping in the 'other creatures' department?"

"I would definitely love to help." Jacob beamed.

"I figured." I said under my breath.

"Can we do some today?" Renesmee said, bouncing from one foot to the other.

"Today probably isn't the best day, Renesmee. Everyone is getting ready for the barbeque…" Bella reasoned.

"We have hours until Grandma gets here, and I just want to do a little. Just a bit…" Renesmee said with puppy dog eyes. It was moments like this when I saw the little girl that she had been only a few short years ago. It was practically impossible to say no to her when she put her mind to something.

Bella and I looked at each other. Bella's shield lowered and she said "A few minutes couldn't hurt. We'll tell her to ask Alice. If Alice says there is time, then there's time."

"Go ask Aunt Alice if you can borrow Uncle Jasper. But if she says no, then you have to wait." I laughed.

Renesmee giggled and rushed back to the house to find Alice.

***************CHAPTER END*****************


	4. Tag, You're It

CHAPTER TWO

TAG, YOU'RE IT

I could hear Renesmee pleading to Alice as we entered the house.

"Please, Aunt Alice? Please!" Renesmee coaxed, putting her best effort into her begging tone and doe eyes. She was really laying it on thick for Alice.

Alice finally relinquished. "Fine, fine." she said shaking her head. "One hour, but then we have to get back to preparing for the party." It was difficult for anyone to deny Renesmee what she wanted, even Alice, who always insisted on sticking to a strict schedule during event planning. It had been that way since Renesmee was born. She always got her way.

"Thank you!" Renesmee squealed as she grabbed Jasper's hand and dragged him toward the back door. Jasper glanced back at us, attempting to look put out by the raucous, but he couldn't help but smile. I was actually glad that Bella had thought of this. When she first suggested it, I was completely against it. It is not that I did not want my daughter to be able to protect herself, but more rather that I was afraid she would get hurt in the process.

Although Renesmee was a hybrid, and therefore stronger than a mere human, she was still more fragile than a vampire. She had blood flowing in her veins: blood that could easily be spilled. While I knew no one here would hurt her intentionally, accidents happen when you participate in fight training. The biggest concern being Jasper himself.

Even though he had been turned during the Civil War, he had not been trained in self-control in resisting taking human life. When he came to our family, his transition to our vegetarian lifestyle was hard for him. Vegetarian in this instance meaning we only eat animals and not humans. If Renesmee sustained some injury that made her bleed, we might have a problem on our hands. I trusted that Jacob would protect her, which was the only reason I had ultimately agreed to allow this, but I still worried for Jasper.

He had only lost his composure once in the last couple of decades and it had been when Bella had gotten a paper cut on the wrapping paper of one of her birthday gifts before she had been turned. It was an extremely close call that had started a chain reaction of awful events.

We all had this in mind, but none as much as Jasper. He had been working with Carlisle to strengthen his ability to refrain from pursuing human blood. Carlisle had bags of blood stored here at the house for emergencies in case Renesmee was ever injured. It wouldn't be exactly compatible, but it would do in an emergency.

The rest of the family would never ingest that blood because doing so would turn the irises of our eyes to a blood red color. Because our family only feeds on the blood of animals, our eyes are usually a shade of gold or amber. If we have not fed in some time, they darken to black. But the draw of human blood is much more intense than animal blood, so Carlisle and Jasper would practice exposing Jasper to the scent of the blood to give him the opportunity to exercise his skill at being around it without risking human life.

Jasper had told me that it had helped him a great deal.

"Bella!" Alice's excitement from the next room interrupted my train of thought. "I need your help with this."

I had to laugh at the silent plea in Bella's eyes. She hated being celebrated and had little interest in the intricacies of executing such a celebration, but Alice would have none of her moping. She required participation. I shrugged and snuck out the back door as Bella rolled her eyes and went to join Alice.

In the back yard I could see Jasper in full instruction mode as he delivered important details to Renesmee as if she were one of his soldiers from the past.

"You're tough, but you have to be smart. It's always better to evade than engage if you can manage it." Jasper lectured.

"I know, Uncle Jasper. I'm not going to go out and take up cage fighting or anything. But I at least need to know what it feels like to hit someone. And to be hit." That last part gave pause to us all.

Renesmee was right, of course. She did need to know how it felt to be struck in order to brace herself for it if she ever had to fight, but who would have the gall to strike her? She saw the hesitation in all of our faces. "Oh come on! I'm not made of glass!"

"You're right, Renesmee, but you are kind of fragile for any of us to actually strike you." Jasper said.

"You're just afraid I might make you bleed." Renesmee teased.

Jasper said in a low tone, "Vampires do not bleed. Vampires are like stone. For you, it would be like being hit by a boulder. As it is you will sustain injury from practicing blocking." Jasper said.

"I guess that leaves you, Jacob" Renesmee turned to him and said.

"What?" Jacob said, taking a startled step backward and instantly regretting his previous eagerness to help. "Renesmee, I can't hit you, are you crazy? I could kill you!"

"I'll do it." Emmett chimed in.

"NO!" Jasper, Jacob, and I stated in unison. Seeing as Emmett was one of the strongest vampires in existence, having him hit Renesmee was definitely out of the question.

"Settle down, I wouldn't hit her full strength or anything. Someone's got to do it otherwise she'll never know what she's up against." Emmett reasoned.

"I like this idea less and less the more we talk about it." I realized.

"Something wrong?" Sam Uley asked as he and Emily Young entered the back yard. They were the first guests to arrive for Bella's birthday barbeque. They had volunteered to get the grill started since the pack would be the ones eating most of the food.

Sam was the alpha of one of the two werewolf packs of the Quileute tribe in La Push. Emily was his imprinted mate. They made quite a pair with their copper skin and jet black hair. Sam was not as tall as Jacob, but only just barely. He was similar in stature to Jacob, but not quite as big. Both were the tallest of their packs, each being the alpha of their own. Sam's brown eyes swept the scene, trying to figure out the dilemma at hand.

"I'm supposed to be receiving fight training, but no one wants to actually hit me because I'm apparently going to explode or something." Renesmee said.

"I'll help." Emily chimed in, her black eyes focused on Renesmee, a smile stretched awkwardly across her face. The scars on the right side of Emily's face often made her expressions seem more sinister than they really were. The scars, four jagged lines going from her hairline to her jaw, were from Sam.

Early on in their relationship, before she knew about how volatile werewolves can be, Emily had instigated Sam's anger intentionally, and though he had tried to get away from her to avoid hurting her, he phased too close to her and ended up doing significant damage to her face. Looking at Emily was a constant reminder of how dangerous werewolves can be under the wrong circumstances.

Emily's offer of assistance wasn't much of a surprise. Over the years she had befriended Renesmee. When Jacob asked her once why she would do that, Emily simply said that it made sense to be Renesmee's friend because some day she would find out about Jacob's imprinting and she would need someone to talk to about it. Who else could she turn to for that?

Emily also disliked that there were two packs instead of one. She wanted everyone to feel more as a whole, like it was years ago before Jacob had had to choose between his pack and saving Bella's life. Emily figured that she and Renesmee being friends could be another link between the packs.

"Em, are you sure that's a good idea? She's a hybrid. She's faster and stronger than you are. She could seriously hurt you." The concern on Sam's face was stern.

"Thanks for the vote of confidence. You have given me lessons for years, so I can hold my own. I'm not supernatural, so I'm assuming I won't cause any explosions. Just try not to kill me, okay?" she laughed.

Renesmee looked at me and then Jasper with a questioning tilt to her eyebrow.

"Fine." I acquiesced, "but be careful, please." I looked to Sam and Jacob, who were on opposite sides of each other, watching Emily and Renesmee, but watching each other as well.

"Let's start with a take down." Jasper instructed. "So the two of you can get a taste of how you each move."

Renesmee and Emily circled each other. Emily made a motion that looked as if she would charge, but it was fake, to startle Renesmee. It worked. Renesmee jumped and let out a yelp. We all chuckled and Emily laughed at Renesmee's tension. Renesmee didn't like this at all and she lunged for Emily. Emily tried to dodge her, but Renesmee was too fast. They crashed to the ground. Sam and Jacob lurched forward just slightly until the girls started laughing.

"You're like a freight train!" Emily laughed, wincing as she went to stand.

"I'm sorry. I got worked up." Renesmee said smiling, a little embarrassed.

"Don't let your emotions get the better of you. Stay calm. Focused." Jasper chastised. Renesmee took a deep breath to center herself.

"Watch her body language. Try to anticipate which way she is going to go. See where she is carrying the weight in her feet." Jasper instructed.

Renesmee and Emily circled each other, trying to anticipate the other's movements. Renesmee charged Emily again, and I saw Sam tense out of the corner of my eye right before Renesmee crashed into Emily. However, this time Emily seemed to be collapsing straight to the ground, which seemed odd, until we all realized that she had grabbed Renesmee by the shirt, squatted down to roll on her back, and kick Renesmee over her head. Renesmee's momentum made her flip over and fly several yards before crash sliding into the ground.

Renesmee rolled onto her feet before her slide ended. "I didn't know we were using legs." Renesmee said with a devilish grin. Renesmee walked toward Emily who was standing at the ready and in the blink of an eye landed a roundhouse kick right to Emily's chest, sending her flying. Before any of us could run to her, Emily was up and charging.

"Let's play nice, ladies." Jasper advised.

I don't think either of them was listening by this point.

They were both laughing, but intense, as Emily swung at Renesmee again and again, but Renesmee managed to dodge each time. Every miss made Emily more frustrated until she burst out, "Hold still damn it!" And before the last syllable was released, Renesmee punched Emily with a right hook landing right on the cheek.

Emily was rocked back and to the side. She crumpled as if her skeleton had turned to liquid. Sam was next to her in an instant.

"Is she okay? I didn't mean to hit her that hard." Renesmee said with concern. She made a move toward Emily, and Sam growled. This got Jacob's hackles up as well. At that moment I felt a wave of calm come over me. I could tell by Jacob and Sam's postures that they too were being influenced by Jasper who was using his powers to defuse the situation.

"You couldn't have done that a little earlier?" I said to Jasper.

"Do you want her to learn to control herself too, or just hurt people?" Jasper said, giving me a stern sideways glance.

"Fair point." I admitted.

Emily wobbled as she tried to sit up, but Sam tried to keep her still to examine her. "Let me up." She said with disdain.

"Are you hurt?" Sam asked. "How many fingers do you see?" he asked her, holding up three fingers.

"Sam, stop. I'm fine." Emily insisted, gently pushing him away and gingerly getting to her feet. Sam helped to keep her stable once she stood.

"Your face isn't fine, Emily. You are going to be sporting quite the black eye soon." Sam predicted. Emily touched her cheek where Renesmee had made contact.

"Emily, I'm so sorry!" Renesmee began.

"Don't be sorry." said Emily, "That was fun."

"It won't be fun when your mother sees you. She's going to have a fit." Sam warned her.

We all began speaking at once, voicing varying opinions on whether the training should continue.

"Enough!" Bella's command came from the back door as she walked out into the yard. "I think that's enough sparring for today, Jasper. Why don't you work on forms and stances?"

Jasper nodded and turned to Renesmee, "You heard her. Let's go!"

As Jasper began posing Renesmee and showing her how to move from one stance to another, Bella turned to me and said, "Edward, we'd better head out if we want to get to the airport on time."

"But I thought we were leaving in a few hours." I said.

"I changed my mind." Bella said as we walked to the garage. "Alice wants me to choose which party games we are going to play at the barbeque and I just…can't." she laughed.

We went to the garage and decided to take my Volvo to the airport. As I pulled out onto Highway 101 from our private driveway, I glanced at Bella and said, "So where should we go until it is time to pick up Renee and Phil?" I asked.

"Any place that isn't celebrating my birthday." Bella pouted.

"Is it really so bad, Bella? I would think you would be used to this by now." I chastised.

"I know." Bella sighed. "I've never liked the attention. I don't like for things to be focused on me. It's not as bothersome as it was when I was human, now that I have so much self-control and I can will myself to not be bothered most of the time. But this barbeque weighs on me. Once my mom has met Renesmee, maybe we can do it a couple of days earlier and make it about her instead."

"Well, I don't know about that. She is her mother's daughter." I grinned.

"That she is. But at least she can take some of the attention off of me." Bella smiled. "Edward, would you mind if we slowed down? I really want to see the scenery. Just look at it, you know?"

"Of course." I said as I slowed the car to a normal pace. As usual Highway 101 was fairly empty. Despite being a main road through the peninsula, there was rarely ever traffic of which to speak. As we came to the most winding part of the road, near Lake Crescent, I pulled into a turn out.

"Why are we stopping? Bella asked, looking around.

"To explore. We have time." I said with a mischievous grin as I exited the car and sped to her side to open her door for her. She smiled up at me and took my hand as she stepped out of the car. We crossed the highway and walked back to a part of the road where the side opposite the lake opened up and back into a small waterfall surrounded by trees.

"I never noticed this before." Bella said with curiosity as we jumped over the guardrail and climbed the sides of the small waterfall up into the trees.

"Most people do not see it. They are too busy looking at the lake. But it just goes to show that sometimes you need to open your eyes to what is really around you instead of only what is right in front of you." I said.

"That sounds suspiciously like you might be lecturing me about being aware of my surroundings. Is that what this is? A combination field trip and public service announcement?" Bella said playfully, wrapping her arms around my neck.

"Maybe. You never know what manner of things could be lurking about. It's best to stay aware." I said kissing her lightly on her lips.

"You seem to forget that you are not the only lion in these hills. I am no longer a lamb." Bella said in a low voice as she wound her fingers into my hair and returned my kiss with one more forceful.

"That may be so, but even lions get hunted." I said as I pulled her body to mine and we let our passion consume us high above the sporadically passing vehicles twisting around the lake below us.

We laughed the carefree laughs of two people deeply in love as we cleared away leaves and dirt from our clothing so that we could head back to the car. It was so easy to get caught up in each other, and we could not be late to get Renee and Phil. Despite having been married for seven years, our love seemed just as fresh and even more intense as it had been in the very beginning.

As we were beginning our walk back to the car, we heard a rustle in the trees off to our left deep in the woods. Bella looked at me and smiled, her face lighting up with excitement. Her shield dropped and she said to me, from her mind, "Shall we?"

I pulled my cell phone out of my pocket to check the time. If we didn't take too long, and if I drove fast, we could probably make it to the airport on time. I nodded and we took off into the trees to find the source of the noise.

Watching Bella hunt always made me feel so proud. She was such an amazing creature. Focused, in control, she never got overly excited during a hunt. On the rare occasions when we came across humans, she swiftly avoided them without hesitation. Even mature vampires have problems stopping mid-hunt. For Bella, it was as easy as waving her hand. Her focus and willpower were amazing. When she took down an animal, the kill was swift and clean. She was never unnecessarily vicious or cruel.

Even though I could easily out run her, I kept pace with her several yards off of her flank. She lowered her shield and said "Stop."

This is often how we hunted. She would take the lead and drop her shield to give direction. It made us a silent and deadly pair.

Ahead of us was a group of deer. It looked to be two mothers and three fawns. Bella's face crumpled in disappointment. She had hoped it was a mountain lion or a bear. Something dangerous. She didn't necessarily desire the thrill; she just preferred the taste of the carnivores. Carnivorous animals taste closer to humans than herbivores. Some of her hunts had ranged hundreds of miles in order to pursue creatures that were hunters of some sort.

She shook her head and began to walk off. I personally would have had no problem making a meal of the herd, but since I had already eaten a decent amount in preparation for Renee and Phil's visit, it was easier to walk away.

"You know, Bella, some day you may have to eat something that doesn't kill other things." I teased.

"I know." Bella sighed. "You can't fault me for having a preference. You may be okay with salad, but I prefer steak."

***************CHAPTER END*****************


	5. Introductions

CHAPTER THREE

INTRODUCTIONS

We made it to the airport a few minutes later than we had intended and Renee and Phil were already at the passenger pickup when we arrived. Renee seemed concerned to see me behind the wheel, but this was short lived once she laid eyes on Bella.

"Oh sweetie, it's so good to see you!" Renee said as she embraced Bella. Renee and Bella were very similar in height and appearance with Renee looking like a more mature version, with laugh lines around her mouth and eyes. Since she had been living in Florida, her skin was kissed by the sun. She turned her blue eyes to me and said "It's good to see you too, Edward." with slightly less enthusiasm, but she still hugged me as well. Renee was always cordial to me, but something inside her continued to be wary of me even after all of these years.

"How was the flight, Phil?" I said to Phil as I shook his hand.

"Good." he said shortly, but with a smile. Phil's inner monologue had me stifling a smile as he thought, Damn, Edward's hand is still cold. He must not be taking those iron supplements I recommended. He released my hand and rubbed his over his bald head before tossing a suitcase in the trunk. He glanced at me again and his blue eyes strained, as if he was trying to look into me to find the source of my circulatory issues.

Phil had been dabbling in being a personal trainer and nutritionist as a backup plan for when he could no longer play baseball, which was a time that was approaching more quickly than he would like. He had deduced that there was something lacking in our diets that made my family have poor circulation and, in turn, skin that was cool to the touch. He was right in a way, I suppose.

He had taken it upon himself years ago to find the solution to our poor circulation. He had many suggestions over the years, all of which we feigned to try in order to be polite. Little did he know that there was no cure for what made us so much colder than everyone else.

"Let's get going. Alice is probably pacing a hole in the floor waiting for us." I said. Seeing the worry on Renee's face I added, "Bella would you mind driving? The drive over kind of burned me out. I could use a rest. Do you mind?" I smiled.

"Of course not, dear. I don't mind at all." she grinned as we switched places and she took off toward the freeway. The relief in Renee's expression was highly amusing.

Renee would be meeting Renesmee for the first time at this year's barbeque. In years passed, Renesmee would go with Charlie during the time Renee and Phil were in town. Charlie would claim to be working and couldn't attend the barbeque for Bella's birthday. Renee assumed Charlie stayed away because he didn't want to see her and Phil together. I didn't know if Charlie felt anything like that toward Renee, but it played well with his absence.

Because of how quickly Renesmee changed, there was no way we could have introduced her to Renee until she was closer to fully grown. An introduction any earlier would surely have Renee noticing our daughter's rapid change over a short period of time. It was a detail Charlie purposely ignored.

While it had been hard on all of us to hide Renesmee's existence, it hadn't been easy on Renesmee either. I knew that she was saddened by not being able to know her maternal grandmother. Logically, she understood why it had to be that way, but her heart still longed for that connection to her mother's humanity.

"I can't wait to see what Alice has cooked up this year. Last year was great, Phil, I wish you could have been there." Renee laughed.

"Actually, Mom, we have something to tell you." Bella said, glancing back at her mother, who was seated behind me.

"Oh, really? Something good, I hope?" Renee asked.

"Very good, actually. We have a new addition to the family." I said.

"Bella, are you pregnant?!" Renee squealed.

Bella's eyes fell and she said, "No, Mom. I'm not pregnant." Yet another rouse we had to employ was that Bella and I had been trying for years to have a baby. It was awful on many levels: one being that Bella had to deal with Renee's disappointment over not having a grandchild and her pity for us that we hadn't succeeded; another being that Bella was sad that she could not have any more children. As a vampire, her body was frozen as it was when she turned. She was no longer able to conceive or carry a child.

She was unaware of my knowledge that she desired more children. I suppose I technically didn't know it, since she had never come right out and said it. But there was no mistaking the look on her face when she passed babies in town, or when she happened to see one of those purposely emotionally manipulative commercials on television regarding family. Then there was the one time I had caught her looking at herself in the mirror with a pillow under her shirt. She never spoke it out loud, but it was there.

"Oh, I'm sorry Bella, it just sounded…" Renee began.

"I know Mom, it's okay. You're on the right track, though. We adopted someone." Bella said.

"Oh! Congratulations, sweetie! A boy or a girl?" she asked.

"A girl." Bella smiled.

"How old is she?" Renee asked.

Bella looked at me and I said, "She just turned eighteen. We started the adoption process several months ago when she was still seventeen. It's a long story, but she needed some place to go. The adoption was just finalized. We didn't say anything sooner just in case it fell through"

"Oh." was all Renee said.

"What's wrong?" Bella asked.

"Well, nothing is wrong, Bella. Of course it's great that you and Edward stepped up to help this girl. I just thought you would have adopted someone, well, younger, is all. Is she nice?" Renee asked.

"She's the best daughter we could have ever hoped for." I said and Bella nodded with a grin.

"What's her name?" Renee asked.

"Her name is Renesmee." Bella said.

"Renesmee?" Renee said. This was the first time during the revelation of our 'adoption' that Renee's tone turned serious and she seemed to be frowning. I wasn't sure because I had never seen her frown before. Bella and I had rehearsed many responses to various questions that Renee was likely to ask, but it never occurred to us that Renesmee's name would raise suspicions.

"She had a different name previously. But when we adopted her, she wanted to leave her old life behind and she decided to change her name during the adoption process. She wanted to feel more like a part of the family, so she asked Bella what your name was, and she decided to mix your name with Esme's: Renesmee." I said. The origin of the name was mostly true. It is an amalgamation of Renee and Esme's names, but it had been created by Bella when we did not know if she was carrying a boy or girl. Renesmee couldn't be seen by ultrasounds, so her gender was a secret until she was born.

"Oh, well isn't that sweet! Phil, isn't that sweet? I like her already." Renee laughed.

"That was quick thinking." Bella said to me from her mind. I nodded ever so slightly so that only she could see.

Renee wanted to hear all about how we had come across this young lady, how we had adopted her, and what had happened to her parents. These questions we had rehearsed. We spent the rest of the car ride updating her on the events and listening to what she and Phil had been doing in the last few weeks since she and Bella had last spoke at length.

When we pulled up to the house, Jasper and Emmett came out to help with luggage. In truth, Emmett could have handled all of the bags himself without issue. At six foot five, Emmett was built like a brick wall with broad shoulders and a chiseled form like a statue from a Greek garden come to life. He ran his fingers through his curly dark brown hair and talked with Phil while Bella took Renee out back.

"I'm going to go get Renesmee. I'll be right back." Bella said as she walked back to the house.

Alice approached Renee first. Being a full six inches shorter than Renee, Alice rose to her toes to give Renee a hug, leaning her head out so that her short, spiked, dark brown hair didn't poke Renee in the face. "Renee! So glad to have you here again! I love this time of year."

"It's good to see you too, Alice." Renee said, returning Alice's hug with gentle enthusiasm. Renee was always afraid she would hurt Alice because she was so small. If only she knew how unlikely that would be.

"Welcome, Renee, can I get you anything?" said Esme with a warm smile lighting her heart-shaped face which was framed by her long caramel colored hair.

"I'm dying for some of your amazing iced tea, if you don't mind." Renee smiled.

"Not at all." Esme replied as she walked off to the table to grab a cup of tea for Renee.

"Renee, so good to see you." Carlisle said as he hugged Renee. Renee smiled breathlessly at Carlisle. She was always caught off guard by Carlisle. His collar length blond hair and well-toned medium build made her heart skip a beat. When he smiled at her, her heart raced. Sensing her reaction, Carlisle continued, "We have all been very excited for your arrival."

"I bet! It seems we are grandparents now!" Renee laughed, managing to compose herself.

Bella and Renesmee came out from the house and approached Renee. She turned and her eyes widened when she saw Renesmee.

"Mom, this is our daughter, Renesmee; your granddaughter." said Bella with pride.

"It is a pleasure to meet you." Renesmee said with a shy smile, extending her hand to shake with Renee. Renee's eyes were saucers of confusion. She stared wide-eyed at Renesmee, then glanced back and forth between Bella and me before settling again on Renesmee. She began to squint slightly and shake her head. Her thoughts alarmed me.

"She looks like…but that can't be, this girl is a teenager…but I could swear…her eyes…it's not possible…"

Would Renee buy this rouse? If she didn't, this evening would unravel rather quickly.

Renee looked at Renesmee's outstretched hand then looked Renesmee in the eye and said, "We're family. We don't shake hands." as she embraced Renesmee. Renesmee laughed and squeezed Renee with joy.

Phil, Emmett, and Jasper entered the back yard and Renesmee was introduced to Phil who picked her up in a sweeping hug. He immediately began to ask her what sports she was interested in and what hobbies she liked and did she want to play ball, because he would love to teach her.

I took stock of the attendees and it seemed that almost everyone was here, having arrived while we were gone to get Renee and Phil.

Sue Clearwater had arrived with her children, Leah and Seth, both of whom were part of Jacob's werewolf pack. Normally Sue would be with Charlie, since they had been dating for years, but this year, the year he could finally attend the barbeque since Renee was being introduced to Renesmee, Charlie, ironically, did have to work today.

Billy Black, Jacob's father, wouldn't be attending this gathering. We hadn't seen much of him in the last several years. He had never been happy about vampires being here in Forks, especially when it caused his son to phase into a werewolf. Then, when Harry Clearwater passed away, Billy and Charlie had both been vying for the attention of his widow, Sue, and for whatever reason, Charlie won that battle at the expense of his tenuous relationship with Billy. Despite this being more modern times, the tribe tended to marry within, so for Sue to seek a suitor outside of the tribe was kind of frowned upon, even though no one said it out loud.

Sam and Emily were nearby with the rest of the wolf packs and their mates: Quil Ateara, Paul Lahote, and Jared Cameron were all the same age as Jacob, but unlike Jacob, they were all only six foot tall with varying musculature: Paul being the biggest with Quil and Jared trailing not far behind.

They looked like they could be brothers, all of them with short black hair, copper skin, and brown eyes. All three had previously imprinted and they had their imprintees with them. Rachel Black, Jacob's older sister, was with Paul. Jacob's sister Rebecca was travelling with her husband, but in prior years they had come for the barbeques as well. Kim, a former classmate, was with Jared. For many years she and Jared were just friends. Only recently had their relationship blossomed into more. Quil had also brought Claire Young. Claire was the youngest of the imprintees, being only ten years old. Quil looked after her like a parent, and she viewed him as a caregiver. Quil had once been a park of Jacob's pack, but something had happened, and now he was with Sam's pack.

The pack members that had yet to imprint were Embry Call, Colin Littlesea, and Brady Fuller. Embry was the same age as the others, but he was about four inches taller than they were and much more slender in his musculature. Colin and Brady were the youngest Quileutes to have phased, being three years junior to the next youngest of the members of the packs. They had both grown to be taller than Quil, Paul, and Jared, but were lower in rank due to their age combined with their leaner statures. I found it interesting that even within the packs, there were smaller social groups that preferred each other's company.

Even though Bella and I had left school many years ago, the segregation of the crowd at this party reminded me of the modern school cafeteria at lunch time. At one table you would have the jocks and cheerleaders; another would be the strong academic types, the average kids, and the cool kids. My family had always been the freaks, I suppose. We didn't interact much with other students and we always seemed so different. Rightfully so, I suppose.

In our backyard cafeteria, there was Jasper, Emmett, and Renee's husband Phil talking about sports and cars. Another grouping was Alice, Esme, Carlisle, and Rosalie. Rosalie was pouting, as usual. This time it was because Emmett was deep in conversation with Phil, and Renesmee was getting to know her grandmother.

Rosalie and Renesmee had a special connection because Rose had been Bella's right hand while she was pregnant and after Renesmee had been born. Bella and Rosalie had been very close during that time, and it seemed to have healed the prior animosity that Rosalie had held toward Bella. As Renesmee grew, Bella and Rosalie seemed to relax into a comfortable friendship that brought a certain peace that finally made the house feel like home for everyone.

Despite her pouting, Rosalie wanted Renesmee to get to know her grandmother, but Rose's jealousy could be an ugly monster sometimes. Rosalie despised being left out and dealt with it by either pouting or acting like she didn't care. Tonight my sister had chosen pouting.

Almost as if she could read my mind, she glanced at me, seeing that I was observing her silent tantrum, and she immediately shifted. She stood with her arms crossed, tossing her long blond hair over her shoulder as if she couldn't care less about the happenings surrounding her. Her statuesque figure slightly slouched to show her indifference.

Bella and I were standing with Renesmee, Renee, Jacob, and Seth Clearwater. As time had gone on, Seth seemed more and more fascinated with Renesmee, much to Jacob's annoyance. He had been easier for Jacob to ignore when he first phased because Seth had been so small. At the time, he had been the youngest member of the pack.

But now, years later, Seth was only an inch shorter than Jacob, and while he did not have the muscular bulk that Jacob carried, Seth was packed with lean muscle, and he was incredibly fast. He and I had raced once, and though I was fastest among my family, and among the fastest of any vampires I had ever met, Seth had given me a run for my money that day. In truth, I suspected he had let me win.

Sue Clearwater, her black eyes intent on a conversation with Emily, was laughing and shaking her head, which made her long black hair wave back and forth across her shoulders. Sam stood with them chuckling at whatever story Emily had been telling. The rest of the packs were in a group laughing about something completely different and having a great time; all except Leah Clearwater. Leah was by herself, watching the crowd.

Gatherings like this were hard for Leah. She and Sam had been quite a thing years ago. It all ended the moment Sam met Emily and imprinted on her. Sam felt awful about it, but imprinting is impossible to fight. When Sam became the alpha of the wolf pack, Leah saw him around the reservation less frequently and it was easier to pretend he didn't exist. But then Leah phased too, and she was forced to watch Sam and Emily be in love in order to be part of a pack. It made Leah feel very awkward.

Towards the end of the evening, Charlie arrived with his trainee, Dagny Bayak. Dagny stood half a foot taller than Charlie's six foot average frame. Despite being encased in a police uniform, it was obvious that Dagny was extremely muscular under his copper skin. His dark hair was cut short, but was long enough to almost hang in his brown eyes when he removed his cap. Next to Dagny, Charlie's brown hair and brown eyes seemed very plain.

Dagny had come to Forks about a year ago. From what I had gleaned from Charlie, Dagny's back story was that his dad was Quileute and his mom not. His parents died in a car accident on the way to the reservation when his mother was in labor with Dagny. Dagny was subsequently raised by his non-Quileute grandparents outside of Forks.

Currently Dagny was applying for tribe membership and working with Forks police in the meantime. My own research of his lineage showed that he should have the gene for werewolf phasing, but he had not been exposed to vampires before the age of twenty-five, so his gene never activated.

Charlie and Dagny were looking around for Bella. I waved at Charlie and pointed him in the right direction. Charlie seemed very tense. His brow was drawn down as if he was thinking deeply of something, but what it was I could not tell. Like Bella, Charlie was also a shield, though not as strong as Bella. I could hear whispers from him on occasion and catch glimpses, but usually his mind was silent to me.

Dagny saw Renesmee and walked up to her, giving her a hug. "Happy birthday, vh9/vho/."

Dagny always referred to Renesmee as the Quileute equivalent of 'wren' since he had a hard time remembering her name.

I was concentrating so hard on Charlie and Dagny that when I felt a twinge of something on the fringe of my perception, I almost ignored it.

I looked around to try to find the source and that is when I saw Leah. She was off to the edge of the party near the trees leading into the forest. Her black eyes were wide and she seemed frozen. From her mind exploded a blinding light that dimmed into visions of Leah with a man. It was Dagny. The emotions that flowed through Leah were so strong, that I gasped. I could see that Jasper was watching Leah as well. Her instantly heightened emotions were like a beacon for Jasper's abilities.

I had never seen anything like this. Leah sank to her knees and Seth was at her side in an instant. She brushed him off and stumbled into the trees.

I went to Jacob and pulled him aside. "You might want to go check on Leah."

"Why? What's wrong?" He said, scanning the crowd for Leah. Since the original pack had split when Renesmee was born, Seth and Leah had adopted Jacob as their alpha instead of Sam Uley. As much as he acted like he didn't want to be an alpha, Jacob came from a strong alpha line, and exhibited alpha traits fluidly without even trying. He may be annoyed by Leah's attitude most of the time, but she had pledged her allegiance, and Jacob inherently felt the need to protect her as part of his pack.

"I'm not sure, because I've never seen anything like it, but I think she just imprinted. Jasper felt it too." I explained.

"Why would you be spying on her?" Jacob asked, his brows drawing together as he eyed me with suspicion.

"I wasn't spying, Jacob. It was really loud and bright in my head. It caught me off guard. Like I said, I didn't know what I was seeing." I reiterated. That seemed to be good enough for him as he dismissed me and headed into the trees where Leah had disappeared.

"Is he coming back?" Dagny asked as he approached me, nodding toward where Jacob had slipped into the trees.

"I'm not sure. I'm not his keeper. But I imagine he will be back. Can I get you something, officer? Hot dog? Hamburger? Something to drink?" I asked, attempting to be cordial. Being around Dagny made me incredibly nervous. I would have to have a talk with Charlie about bringing him around. It wasn't like Charlie to be so careless.

While Charlie didn't know the exact nature of our family, he was aware that the tribe was in on it, so to speak, and regular people were not supposed to know. Why he would bring Dagny here for this gathering was beyond me. Maybe he figured since Renee and Phil were here there would be no harm. Charlie knew that Renee and Phil had no idea about the secrets of the Cullen family. He had been the one to suggest not telling Renee back when he was first introduced to our odd world that existed within the one he thought he was living.

Dagny was Quileute blood, but he hadn't been raised with the tribe. He had no idea about the treaty between vampires and werewolves. I assumed he knew nothing about werewolves and vampires at all. I doubt his maternal grandparents had shared the histories with him. There was no telling how he would react to knowing that there was more to this town than was shown on the surface.

Before I had to further deal with the awkward interaction with Officer Bayak, Jacob and Leah came back from the trees. Leah took one look at Dagny and froze. This time Dagny saw her too and he thought, quite loudly "Amazing! She's so beautiful. But not supermodel beautiful. Not that frail, Hollywood beautiful. She looks like she could rip someone's head off. She seems so incredible."

If only Dagny knew how right he was. Leah was definitely capable of ripping someone's head off, but probably not in the way he imagined. Jacob urged Leah forward, grinning ridiculously, even though Leah resisted.

"Officer Dagny Bayak, this is Leah Clearwater. Leah, this is Officer Dagny Bayak of the Forks police department." Jacob introduced.

"I know who he is, Jacob." Leah hissed. "Hi." she said stiffly, glancing up at him through her short black hair.

"Hi. It's nice to meet you, Leah." Dagny said, extending his hand.

Leah looked down at his hand and then up to his gaze. I had never seen her like this. A nervous sweat had broken out all over her copper skin. Even though Dagny had eight inches of height on her, this normally wouldn't keep Leah from standing tall against someone. But now she seemed small and vulnerable. She wanted to shake his hand, but she was afraid to do so. She was frozen with indecision.

"I'm going to go get a burger, anyone want anything?" she asked as she bolted off before waiting for answers.

"Don't mind her." Jacob laughed "She's not used to liking people."

"What makes you think she likes me? She took off like I was going to set her on fire or something." Dagny said. He was smiling, but there was a hidden seriousness in the question.

"Instinct." Jacob said simply. "Give her time. She'll warm up."

Leah went to the food table and hastily made a burger and then began devouring it at a violent clip. Renesmee walked up to her and said, "Leah, what did that burger ever do to you?"

Emily sauntered over, deducing the situation, and said, "Don't mind her; she's having a hard time right now."

"What's wrong?" asked Renesmee.

"None of your business!" Leah insisted through a mouth full of food.

"She imprinted." Emily said, smiling awkwardly, her eye showing the early stages of a wicked bruise from the day's earlier activities.

"Really? Who is it?" Renesmee asked looking around. When Leah didn't answer, Renesmee looked closer at Leah's expression. "Isn't that a good thing? Imprinting?"

"Depends on who you ask." Leah muttered.

Renesmee took a step closer to Leah, and in the gentlest of tones said, "I'm asking you, Leah."

"I don't know. It's weird. Intense. That isn't even enough to describe it, though. I remember thinking I loved Sam, but it was nothing like this. This is… everything." Leah said, stunned.

Emily smiled, "You should go talk to him." She insisted.

"How can I? I'll never be able to explain this. He will think I'm a freak!" Leah balked.

"He's Quileute blood, Leah." Emily reasoned.

"Blood, yes. But he was raised outside of our tribe. He knows nothing about what we are." Leah protested.

"That also means that he knows nothing about who he is either, Leah." Renesmee said.

"I just need a minute to wrap my head around this." Leah said.

"I am jealous of you two." Renesmee admitted. They both turned to her with questioning looks.

"Why?" asked Emily.

"Because you two have true love built into your DNA. Someone imprints on you or you imprint on them and BAM! Instant fairytale. I wish I had that." Renesmee said. Emily and Leah looked at each other nervously. They both knew that Jacob had imprinted on Renesmee when she was a baby. They knew that under no circumstances were they to ever mention it. The order had been given by Sam and by Jacob, so no one from either pack could disobey even if they wanted to do so. But Emily was not part of the pack, technically, since she wasn't a werewolf. She had agreed never to speak of the imprinting unless it was in reference to Jacob imprinting on Bella, but she was under no influence to refrain other than her word.

I could hear her in her mind, struggling with whether or not to say something. I elbowed Jacob and nodded toward the table. He focused his hearing just in time to run over to the table as Emily began speaking.

"You never know how things will work out in the future, Renesmee." Emily began.

"Yeah, someone could fall head over heels for you like Jacob did for your mom." Leah said.

"What?" Renesmee asked, flabbergasted. "I knew they were friends since they were kids, and that Jacob had imprinted on her, but I didn't know Jacob actually liked my mom in a romantic way."

"Oh yeah! Jacob was crazy in love with her for a long time. Why do you think he looks out for you? He's made it his job to protect you." Leah taunted.

"Are you ladies over here gossiping?" Jacob said in a jovial tone, but shooting daggers with his eyes toward Leah. Emily and Leah averted their eyes, knowing that Renesmee had heard more than she should.

"We weren't gossiping, Jacob, we were discussing." Renesmee corrected him.

"And what is the topic?" Jacob asked.

"Imprinting." Renesmee said.

Jacob looked around before saying quietly, "Probably not a good idea to discuss that in mixed company." He said gesturing toward Renee and Phil.

"Fine then. We are discussing true love and its many manifestations." Renesmee said stubbornly.

"Fair enough, but the kind of love you were just discussing is more about souls than storybook romance." Jacob said.

"What do you mean?" Renesmee asked.

"Not all love has to do with romance. You love your parents and there's no romance in that." Jacob pointed out.

"True, but doesn't the kind of love we were previously discussing become that? All the matches I have seen have been that way." Renesmee said.

"There is always a choice." Jacob said in a low voice.

Before Jacob could put his foot any further in his mouth I walked over and addressed Renesmee. "We are about to start the gift opening."

"Oh! Right." she said as she scurried off to the gift table. I gave Jacob a leveled look, and I could tell he was trying hard not to be angry with me for interrupting. He huffed and then walked off to the gift table with Renesmee. I looked over my shoulder and noticed Charlie watching the scene.

Charlie had recently noticed this elevated tension between Jacob and I regarding Renesmee and, accurately interpreting its meaning, would periodically give me a look as if he understood exactly how I felt. If he had ever felt toward me when Bella and I were dating anywhere near the kind of fear and rage I felt now toward Jacob just imagining him and Renesmee together, then I sincerely pitied him.

* **************CHAPTER END*****************


	6. A Masterpiece

CHAPTER FOUR

A MASTERPIECE

It didn't take long to get through gifts. Bella insisted that people not spend exorbitant amounts of money on her. Our family always claimed to have given Bella her gifts beforehand so as not to embarrass her. The truth was that Bella had put a stop to gifts long ago. She insisted that unless someone had a very good reason for giving something, she already had everything she could possibly need.

The only exception she made was for the packs. Bella had spent years immersing herself in languages. She began with the most common languages; Spanish, Chinese, French, German, Italian, Japanese and many others. She branched out toward ancient languages and languages on the verge of extinction.

That is when she discovered that there were only a handful of Quileute left that could fluently speak their language. Most of the tribe of less than a thousand members could speak no more than a few phrases, if any at all. Considering the Quileute language is an isolate, meaning there is no other language like it on Earth, Bella made it her mission to save the language.

She had tracked down the few people who could speak the language fluently and she had spent months learning to speak, read, and write in the language. Then she helped to develop a program to teach the language. As a result, there were more Quileutes using the language than there had been in decades. The tribe as a whole was thankful for her efforts.

As a result, the Quileute pack always chipped in to get her something symbolic. One year they bought her a star, one year they adopted a sea turtle in her name. After all the years we had been doing the barbeque, Bella had quite a few things in her name, and she truly treasured them all. We always put the certificates in a frame and hung them in our living room. It was something Bella actually looked forward to about this event: seeing what new thing the tribe would come up with to put in her name.

Bella opened the box and inside was a small stuffed panda and a certificate. "A panda!" Bella exclaimed. "This is great! Thank you." she grinned.

"I picked out the panda." Claire Young announced from the crowd.

"Well, thank you, Claire. I will treasure it always." Bella said.

Next was Renee's gift to Bella. "It's so hard to shop for you, sweetie, because you always say you don't need anything, but I figured this would be something you wouldn't already have." Renee said. Bella opened the envelope and inside there were two tickets.

"Two tickets to a painting event in Port Angeles." Bella said, slightly confused.

"Oh it's so much fun! A group of people get together and an instructor walks you through how to paint a particular painting! I asked Rose and Alice and Esme if they wanted to go, but they said they already had an agenda for the day. I'm sure we could get a ticket for Renesmee too. Like a girls' afternoon while the boys are drooling over vintage cars!" Renee seemed as if she might explode from the excitement of the idea.

"Mom, I can't paint." Bella retorted.

"That's the beauty of it! You don't have to! They walk you through it step by step and you end up with a gorgeous painting. It'll be great!" Renee squealed.

Bella smiled thoughtfully at her mother and thanked her, but in her mind she was none too happy about having to spend an afternoon painting a picture. She decided that if it made her mother happy, then she would do it. If her painting was awful, she could always hide it in the back of the closet.

"I apologize for not getting anything for you, Renesmee, but in my defense, your existence was revealed to me at kind of a late notice." Renee pouted.

"It's okay. I'm just glad you are here." Renesmee said.

Renesmee, unlike her mother, was still enamored with gifts, even if she did not exactly like all of the fuss. The Quileute pack had gotten her a small hand woven Quileute basket. Not an inexpensive gift, considering the craftsmanship. "This is amazing!" Renesmee gasped. "Thank you so much! It is truly beautiful."

She set the basket down and picked up another box, this one from Jacob. It was small, like a deck of cards, and when she removed the wrapping paper, inside was a black box with an embossed howling wolf head. This was Jacob's logo for his company, Lawatsq5kil Artisan Works. Since Bella had insisted that we all learn the Quileute language, I knew the word in Jacob's business name meant 'wolf' in Quileute.

He had come a long way from carving wolf trinkets and making simple beaded bracelets. While he still made such things, and did them very well, he had branched out to larger carvings, more intricate bead work, and he had begun working with metals quite recently. He had found great success in his works, attending trade shows and finding a kind of cult following online among collectors.

When Renesmee opened the box, lying on a dark pillow of velvet was a pair of silver earrings. The top of the earring was flat and round, about half the size of a dime, with the post coming out of the back. On the front was carved a howling wolf head similar to Jacob's logo. Dangling from the circle were two flat silver feathers, carved with detail. I could see every etch mark in the work and it was clean and perfect. How had he managed that? His work never ceased to amaze me. The fact that he had such dexterity was juxtaposed by the size of his hands, which should be too large and clumsy for such fine work.

"Jacob!" Renesmee gasped. "These are beautiful!" she said as she hugged him and then took out her small hoop earrings to put in the new ones. "You're the best!" Renesmee said, as she stood on her toes and Jacob leaned down so Renesmee could kiss his cheek. He grinned back at her.

"You've got another one." said Charlie, taking a box out of his jacket pocket and handing it to her. Renesmee opened it and inside was a teddy bear key chain.

"It's so cute! Thanks, Grandpa! This is perfect." Renesmee said.

"I'm glad you like it, but it's not just a key chain for keys. His head flips back and he's actually a can of mace." Charlie said. Leave it to Charlie; safety first.

Renesmee laughed. "Like I said, it's perfect." she said as she walked over and hugged Charlie who was now standing next to me. Renesmee went back to the table and said, "Last one." as she picked up a thick envelope.

The last gift was from Carlisle and Esme. In the thick envelope were a waterproof passport holder and a thinner envelope. When Renesmee opened the inner envelope, there were two cruise tickets inside. At the look of alarm on my face, Bella dropped her shield and said "Don't freak out, Edward."

"Cruise tickets! For my graduation! Thank you so much!" Renesmee yelled as she hugged Carlisle and Esme in turn.

"We figured that now that you are getting older, you might want to spread your wings." Carlisle smiled.

"Not so fun, is it?" Charlie muttered next to me.

"Touché." I answered flatly, without looking at him. Carlisle and Esme had given Bella plane tickets for her eighteenth birthday so that she could go visit her mother in Florida. Charlie was less than thrilled when Bella insisted that I use the second ticket to accompany her. That was an interesting trip. We had planned flights that arrived and departed in the night to avoid sunlight. I had to say I had a term paper to write in order to have an excuse to stay inside.

"Cheer up, Edward. She could do worse." Charlie chastised.

I knew he was right, but I didn't have to like it.

Once the gift opening had been completed, everyone began to disperse back to their normal lives. Most of the Quileutes went back to the reservation, and we helped Renee and Phil get settled in for the night.

Renee and Phil stayed at the main house. In the past there had been no way we could have them out at the cottage without them finding Renesmee's room and asking questions. It was also dangerous for them to be in the woods alone with no cell phone service or landline. My old room in the main house had been made into a guest room of sorts and that is where Renee and Phil stayed.

We had cleaned up the party overnight, being careful not to wake our human guests. Jacob and Renesmee slept on the couches downstairs. Renesmee wanted to be here when Renee woke up so that she could spend the maximum amount of time with her, and Jacob wanted to be near Renesmee.

Renee and Phil woke up and Renesmee and Jacob made them breakfast. The rest of us claimed to have already eaten since we had gotten up early to clean up after the party.

Renee told us that after visiting with us here in Washington, they would be headed to see Phil's parents in Arizona. They would be celebrating their fortieth wedding anniversary the day that Renee and Phil flew in.

The technicians came in the morning to install the charging station for our Teslas. Carlisle offered to oversee the installation while we were out.

We were going to Port Angeles for the vintage car show. In the Tesla, we had Renesmee, Jacob, Me, Bella, Renee, Seth and Leah. In the second car were Phil, Emmett, and Jasper. Esme, Alice, and Rosalie were in the third car.

Seth had begged to come, and Leah was pretending to come along to keep an eye on him. I could tell that she had decided to tag along in an effort to avoid Dagny Bayak, but I did not say anything. When Seth asked why she was coming she had been dismissive, but I saw in her mind an interaction with Dagny on the reservation. It was a short, awkward exchange. Leah was embarrassed.

The car ride to Port Angeles was filled with Renee and Renesmee trying to cram a lifetime of information into one conversation. Periodically Bella would glance into the back seat from the rearview mirror as she drove to see the smiles on the faces of her mother and daughter.

We found a place to park several blocks from the car show since the city was crowded for the event, and we walked our way into the jubilant melee of cars, vendors, music, and food.

Rosalie and Alice went up the pier to an artisan jewelry shop. Phil, Emmett, Jasper, Jacob, and Seth went over to the vintage vehicles on display along the street that had been closed down for the event. Leah was off to herself, deep in thought, and Esme was off a little ways from her, watching her, but pretending to peruse the wares of one of the nearby vendors.

On the boardwalk, a section had been roped off for the painting event. Bella and Renee had tickets and they convinced the person at the admission stand to let Renesmee in as well. With both Bella and Renesmee using their charms, that boy never had a chance. I sat on a bench nearby to wait for them and to watch the people as they went by.

The scene they were painting was a sunset on a beach. It reminded me of the beach on which Bella and I had spent our honeymoon. Isle Esme, off the coast of Rio de Janiero, was a private island owned by my family. As if she knew I was thinking of her, Bella turned to me and nodded toward the painting, smiling. I nodded, smiling back. After a few years, I found that most of the time I didn't really need to read Bella's mind. We fell into a rhythm where we each knew what the other needed.

Leah's voice caught my attention and I turned to see her speaking to Esme.

"I'm just saying that having a hard time adjusting is to be expected." Esme said, trying to be comforting. Leah and Esme had always had a strained relationship. Esme had tried many times over the years to bridge the divide, but Leah resisted. I wasn't sure why Esme kept trying.

"I have a mother, Esme." Leah said, looking away from Esme.

"I know that, Leah, but does she understand what you are going through?" Esme asked.

"Like you do." Leah scoffed.

"We're not so different, you and I." Esme claimed.

Leah turned to her, eyes piercing, and whispered, "I am nothing like you."

Esme was used to this from Leah, and did not flinch. I saw a memory flash through her mind, faded by time and transformation, a human memory, very rare for our kind the more time passes in our new lives. It was a brief moment of the first time she had met Carlisle. She had been sixteen and had broken her leg. She had been so taken with his kindness and compassion.

Years later, when he saved her life by changing her, she was actually happy and relieved. Changing had not been easy for her, but she had considered it a more than fair trade for the life and love she obtained. She channeled that intensity as she spoke to Leah.

"You love him beyond all reason. More intensely than you ever thought was possible. At times it feels like it might completely consume you; take over everything you've ever known. It scares you, because you cannot control it. But a part of you doesn't want to control it. You want to let it burn through you like wildfire. The thing is, you fear what you may become if you let that happen. Will you still be inside what you have always known yourself to be? Or will you be something new? And what if you don't like it? There's no turning back once you release the tenuous leash you barely hold."

I couldn't think of a time when I had heard Esme speak so passionately on a topic. From the look on Leah's face, it seemed that Esme had hit the nail on the head.

"Fighting it will only make you unhappy. But I'm sure you're starting to realize that." Esme said. "Try fighting for it instead. You won't regret it." Esme nodded and then walked to the pier to find Alice and Rosalie.

Leah sat on a bench with her elbows resting on her thighs, and put her face in her hands. She glanced up and saw me watching her. I looked away as she screamed at me from her mind; "Mind your own business, Edward!" I nodded without looking back to her.

Seth, having lost interest in the cars, wandered over to the bench where I was sitting and sat down next to me. He was watching Renesmee paint and laugh. He smiled watching her. Then Jacob came into his field of vision across the plaza and Seth looked away, guilt coloring his cheeks.

Seth and I had developed a special bond over the years. When he was younger he would follow me around like a lost puppy, always happy to see me. He had been fond of Bella as well. It was rare to see him angry. He seemed to be the most docile of the pack members.

"Seth, is there something going on with you and Jacob?" I asked.

Seth sighed and said, "He's mad at me because…well… I…"

"Because you are drawn to Renesmee?" I offered.

Alarm flooded his expression. "I would never…I mean, Jake would kill me…but I wouldn't even…" he tripped over his own words, panicking.

"I know, Seth. But I'm sure you can appreciate how it looks to Jacob." I said, patting his back.

"I know, but I can't help it. I just want to be around her. There's nothing…inappropriate…about it. Being around her just makes me feel happy." Seth admitted.

I knew Renesmee only viewed Seth as a friend, but she only viewed Jacob as a friend as well. Could that change? Despite Jacob's imprint, could Renesmee actually choose someone else? Jacob had said it was possible.

I tried to picture it. How awkward would that be if Renesmee chose Seth? Admittedly, I held less animosity toward Seth, but I feared part of it was because I felt like I could influence him. There was no influencing Jacob. He did what he wanted.

If that happened, Jacob would be devastated. Even I had to admit that would be heartbreaking. Could Jacob survive being passed over for someone else a second time? It nearly broke him when Bella chose me over him. If Renesmee chose Seth instead of him, there was no telling what he would become then.

A dangerous unknown to be sure, since Alice was practically unable to see any future with the wolves involved. We still did not know why. Yet another thing for me to worry about for my daughter.

Several hours later, each patron within the roped circle had their own version of the sunset on the beach. "You know, Bella, for someone who claims to have no talent at painting, yours sure does look suspiciously perfect." Renee laughed.

Bella's painting was an almost exact copy of the instructor's. Perfect in every stroke. The only difference being that Bella's painting held slightly more realism than the more impressionist versions of the others.

"Thanks, Mom. Yours looks really good too, you know." Bella said. She was right. Renee's painting, while obviously painted with a less than practice hand, seemed more vibrant and whimsical, with broader strokes and brighter shades of the same colors.

"Well, thank you, but I still think yours is better." Renee insisted.

"Why don't we trade then?" Bella offered.

"Oh, honey, you worked so hard on that!" Renee said.

"Think of it this way: each of us will have a piece of how the other sees the world. It will be like being able to see through each other's eyes when we are apart." Bella said.

"That's beautiful." Renee whispered. "I like that very much, Bella." she said as she hugged Bella.

Jasper, Emmett, and Phil joined us and Jasper, being the consummate gentlemen, offered to take the paintings to the car so we could walk around unhindered. I sensed, however, that he might also need a break from all of the humans. Crowds were still difficult for him for long periods of time. Jasper took the paintings and he and Alice walked off to the cars.

"You know, Renesmee, I think I owe you a birthday gift." Renee said.

"That's okay; you really don't have to…" Renesmee said.

"Nonsense! There are so many beautiful things here! Give me a minute. I'll be right back." Renee said, rushing off down the aisle of vendors.

"There's no point arguing, kid." Phil laughed.

At one of the jewelry vendors, Renee bought something and came running back with an enormous smile lighting up her face. "Turn around and close your eyes." Renee said. "And no peeking."

Renesmee did as she was told and Renee placed a necklace around Renesmee's neck and then turned her around. "Okay, open your eyes."

Renesmee glanced down at a teardrop moonstone with a small, round purple stone mounted above it and framed in silver. The chain was silver as well.

"It's so beautiful!" Gasped Renesmee.

"It's moonstone, like Bella's ring, but it has the little purple stone too." Renee giggled, impressed with her own cleverness.

"I love it, thank you!" Renesmee said as she hugged Renee.

"Well, I don't know about the rest of you, but I'm starving!" Phil announced. "Let's hit that Italian place we passed on the way here."

"Bella Italia? Sure, that place is great!" said Renesmee.

"We don't mean to be rude, Renee, but we've all been awake for quite some time. I think we will just head home, if that's okay." said Esme.

"Is anyone going to stay?" Renee pouted.

"Well Edward, Renesmee, Jacob, and I will stay." said Bella.

"I'm afraid we have to go." said Rosalie, leaning into Emmett as he put his arm around her.

"We should probably head home too. I have some things to get together for the hike tomorrow." said Alice looking at Jasper.

"I'll stay." said Seth.

Leah, not wanting to spend an evening around a dinner table pretending to be normal, also said "I should get back to the reservation. I have some things to take care of."

"Well, at least we have some of you. Thank you to all of you for coming out and about today. I hope you had fun." Renee quipped.

Everyone insisted that they had fun, and then those that were leaving headed back and the rest of us walked on to Bella Italia.

This was the most awkward part of the day, pretending to eat, so I didn't blame my siblings for not wanting to sit through it.

Vampire bodies do not digest food, so Bella and I would have to purge the food from our bodies later in private. Renesmee, thankfully, could survive on blood or human food. When she was younger she had enjoyed hunting, but as she had aged she began leaning more toward preferring human food. Only a few more hours and then we could be home relaxing.

After the meal the drive home was a quiet one. It had been a long day.

"You two must be exhausted!" Renee said as we pulled up to the house. "You've been up a lot longer than we have."

"We're fine, Mom." Bella said.

"Well I am beat. I'm going to head to bed." Phil said with a yawn.

"Oh alright, bed it is. But we are getting up early for the hike tomorrow." Renee vowed as she and Phil headed off to bed. Jacob and Renesmee went to the main house to take their places on the couches.

"Did you have a good time today?" I asked Bella, as we headed to the living room.

"Yes, I did, actually, More so than I thought I would. I never realized how much I miss my mom until she is here. And then, before I know it, she's gone." Bella said in a somber tone. I put my arms around her and held her tight as we settled in to wait for the sun to rise.

* **************CHAPTER END*****************


	7. Carpe Diem

CHAPTER FIVE

CARPE DIEM

The next day everyone was up early for the hike. Over breakfast, Renesmee handed to Renee a small white box.

"I made this for you." Renesmee said as she handed it to Renee.

"You didn't have to do that, sweetie!" Renee cooed. She opened the box and inside was a beaded bracelet. "How beautiful! Where did you get this?" Renee asked as she lifted the bracelet from the box. It was flat, about an inch wide, with an intricate working of tiny beads laced on thin leather braids woven together. The ends were tied off in knots with a ring on one end and a clasp on the other. It looked like a delicate piece, but I could tell it had sturdy craftsmanship.

"I made it." Renesmee said. "Jacob taught me. He actually makes jewelry."

"That's great! Oh look at all the little beads! This is really too sweet. Thank you, Renesmee." Renee said.

"Here, let me help you put it on." Renesmee offered. She clipped the bracelet around Renee's wrist and Renee gazed at it in wonder. "I didn't know you made jewelry, Jacob. I thought you owned an auto repair shop out on the reservation."

"I still do, I just don't work there as much. The guys can handle the work load, and I go in there periodically to help out when they need it. It mostly runs itself. I started working with jewelry as a sort of meditation therapy. The intricate work was calming. Once I mastered leather and beads, I did carvings. Last year I started working with metal."

"Well, you have definitely done well for yourself." Renee smiled.

Jacob blushed, "Thank you."

"Okay, I have the picnic all ready." Alice said as she placed the basket on the table.

"I wish you could go with us, Alice." Renee said.

"I do too." Alice said, "But these dresses won't design themselves, and unfortunately my deadline has been pushed up. I'm so sorry."

"I understand, Alice." Renee said.

"We'd better head out if we want the good spots." Emmett said. He was going with us so that Phil would have someone to fish with. It really wasn't my thing. Rosalie had decided to stay home. Fishing wasn't her thing either. Renee planned to sit back on the shore and talk with Bella. It would just be me, Bella, Renee, Phil, Emmett, Renesmee, Jacob, and Seth.

I could hear Seth and Jacob talking outside. Their tone caught my attention so I moved closer to hear what they were discussing.

"What is with you, Seth?" Jacob asked.

"What do you mean, Jake?" Seth asked.

"You know what I mean. For a while now you have been following Renesmee around like a lost puppy. What gives?" Jacob demanded.

"I just like being around her. There's nothing going on. I swear." Seth said.

"There better not be." Jacob threatened and then turned to leave.

"You don't own her." Seth said.

Jacob stopped and turned, walking back to Seth slowly as he said, "What did you just say?"

Seth seemed nervous, but he held his ground. "You heard me, Jacob. You don't own her. If I want to hang out with her, and it's okay with her, then you can't stop me."

"Can't I?" said Jacob as he stared at Seth, anger washing over his expression. Seth tried his best to hold Jacob's glare, but as the alpha, Jacob had the power to make Seth back down, and he was using it now as Seth dropped his gaze and cowered slightly. "If I tell you to leave, you will leave."

Renesmee, glancing outside at their body language, stepped outside and said, "Jacob, what are you doing?"

Jacob looked at her and backed away from Seth. "Seth and I were just talking."

"That's not what it looked like." Renesmee chastised. "Seth, are you okay?"

Seth did not look up at Jacob or Renesmee as he said, "Yeah, I'm fine, we were just talking."

Renesmee looked at Seth and then turned to Jacob and said, "May I have a word with you?" as she stormed off into the trees. Jacob followed her and when they were some distance from the house, she rounded on him.

"Jacob, what is going on?" Renesmee demanded.

"Nothing is going on…" Jacob began before Renesmee interrupted.

"Don't lie to me, Jacob!" Renesmee yelled. She stepped closer to him and held his eyes with hers and said, "Tell me right now what you two were talking about."

Unable to resist Renesmee, Jacob said, "It makes me nervous the way Seth always wants to be around you."

"Nervous? Why?" Renesmee asked.

"I think he likes you. As in, romantically." Jacob said.

Renesmee gasped and took a step back, "Jacob! Not you too!"

He looked at her, confused, and said, "What do you mean, not me too?"

"My dad is already acting nutty about me spending time with you, and now you are acting weird about Seth being around. What is going on with you two? Aren't you taking this protecting me thing a little far" Renesmee asked.

With this line of questioning, Renesmee was eventually going to ask something Jacob couldn't evade and the secret of his imprinting would be revealed.

I stepped into the trees. "There you are. We are heading out." I said.

"This conversation is not over." Renesmee promised. She looked me up and down as she walked off back to the house.

"Thanks, Edward. I thought for sure I was done for there." Jacob admitted.

"You likely were." I confirmed. "You need to be more careful if you want to let sleeping dogs lie."

Jacob sighed, shaking his head. "Easier said than done, man."

"I know." I commiserated. "Come on. Let's go walk it off."

We piled into the Tesla and headed south down Highway 101 until we came to an unmarked dirt trail. We drove down as far as we could and then we unloaded and headed toward the lake. It was about a twenty minute walk from the dead end in the road until the edge of the clearing that opened to the lake. We set down our stuff and began setting up.

"I'm going to check the perimeter, make sure we have the best spot." Jacob said.

"I want to go!" Renesmee said.

"Me too!" said Seth.

The three of them took off to explore while Renee, Bella, and I set up chairs and portable tables and Emmett and Phil readied their fishing gear.

"Hey, Renee, did you pack that bait I handed you?" Phil asked as he was digging through his bag.

Renee sighed, "Yes, I put that disgusting jar of worms in your bag Phil."

"Well, it's not here, Renee." Phil snapped.

"Maybe it fell out." Renee shot back.

"And maybe you didn't want me to be able to fish so you left it out on purpose." Phil accused.

"What? Why would I not want you to fish?" Renee asked.

"Because you like sucking the fun out of my life." Phil muttered.

"Whoa, hey now…" Bella said.

"Well, you didn't have to come, Phil." Renee shot back.

"I'm going to pretend like you didn't say that Renee." Phil said, walking off. Renee looked as if she might go after Phil, but instead she bit her knuckle, shook her head, and then sighed and sat on the ground.

Emmett looked to me and Bella and without speaking asked, "Should I go after him?" I nodded in the direction that Phil had exited as an affirmation to his question.

"I'm sorry you two had to see that." Renee said, tears brimming in her eyes.

"I'm going to go get firewood. I'll be right back." I said as I walked off out of sight of Renee. I knew Bella wanted to speak to her mother about what had just happened, and she was more likely to open up if I wasn't around.

"Mom, what's going on with you and Phil?" Bella asked.

"What do you mean, sweetie? Nothing's going on." Renee denied, trying to laugh away Bella's question as she got up from the ground.

"Mom, you are an awful liar. You and I both know that. You can talk to me. What's wrong?" Bella pressed.

Renee turned to see if Phil was in earshot, but he had walked farther down the trail out of sight. "I am going to divorce Phil."Renee admitted.

"What? But why? Did he hurt you?" Bella asked, her expression turning dark.

"Oh no, honey, nothing like that. It's not him, it's me." Renee claimed.

"I don't understand. You've been so happy for so long. What happened?" Bella inquired.

"Life happened, I guess." Renee said. "I started noticing it a few years ago. At first I thought we were just in a rut, you know? The seven year itch. All of the things that I used to find so cute and endearing were starting to really get on my nerves."

Renee heard rustling not far off, but Phil was still off trying to locate bait. Renee continued, "He used to be able to make me feel so alive and vibrant, and now, when I look at him, it's just not there anymore." Renee looked down at the ground and sighed. "I'm so awful."

"Mom, you are not awful, okay? You aren't. Everyone has rough patches. Maybe you just need to reconnect." Bella offered.

"He actually took me on a trip to Ireland a few months ago, you know, to be spontaneous. It was nice. I mean, we had a great time. I could actually see myself in a little cottage there as an old lady with a cup of tea and a rocking chair. It was so peaceful. But it just made it even more plain to me that I'm no longer happy with Phil because I realized I would leave him to be there if he didn't want to go, and that's just not right." Renee said.

"Mom, I'm so sorry. Are you sure?" Bella asked.

"I think I am, Bella. You know, I just don't think I was built for forever." Renee admitted. "I know it's terrible to say that, but I think some people are just broken that way."

"Mom, you are not broken." Bella insisted.

"You are sweet honey, but I think you still have a lot of growing up to do." Renee said with a sardonic laugh.

"Do you think Phil knows?" Bella asked.

"I think he suspects. He keeps asking me what's wrong, and I say nothing because I don't want to get into it and then he gets grouchy, like he is now. It's not healthy for either of us, you know?" Renee said.

"When are you going to tell him?" Bella asked.

"Once we get to his parent's house. We aren't just going there to celebrate their anniversary. Phil came on this trip because he got sacked from the team. He found a job as a personal trainer in Phoenix, and his parents are going to let us stay with them until we get on our feet. Only, I won't be staying." Renee whispered.

"Mom, why don't you just tell him now and stay here with us." Bella blurted out.

"I can't do that to him, Bella. He'd be stuck here until tomorrow and then he'd have the whole travel home, alone. No, I'm going to wait until after his parents' anniversary and then tell him when his storage container arrives." Renee said.

"His storage container? Where is your storage container?" Bella asked.

"I had to pack everything while Phil went out and worked construction so that we would have the money to ship our stuff to Arizona." Renee admitted. "I packed all of my things separately from his and told him they only had two small pods instead of one big one. I had his shipped to his parents and I had mine shipped to you. I hope that's okay." Renee said, bowing her head.

"Of course that's fine, Mom, but why didn't you call me? I would have helped!" Bella said.

"I know you would have, Bella, but that is exactly why I didn't say anything." Renee said. "You have always taken care of me. Even when you were little, you were more of a parent than I was. But I'm not your responsibility, Bella. My life, my choices, they shouldn't be your burdens." Renee said.

"You are not a burden, Mom." Bella insisted.

"You know what I mean, Bella." Renee said. "It's time for me to deal with my own issues. I ran from your father without so much as a goodbye note. I don't want to do that to Phil. I'm going to go with him to his parents' house, and then I'm going to tell him what I have decided. He will have his parents there to help him." Renee said.

"And what about you?" Bella asked. "Who is going to help you?"

"I think it's time I spent some time on my own. I found a job just outside of Portland and a room for rent. And I'll be closer to you, Bella." Renee said.

"Are you sure you want to do this, Mom?" Bella asked.

"I know I can't keep doing what I have been doing." Renee said.

As Jacob, Renesmee and Seth were returning, Emmett and Phil returned as well. Phil went down to the edge of the lake, avoiding Renee, and Emmett stood under a tree near the edge of the lake next to Phil just as the sun began to shine through the clouds.

Bella and I made sure we were under the shade of a tree. Alice had warned us this would happen, but that it would only last a few moments. The rest of the day would be safe for us to be completely uncovered. Even with Alice's assurances, we had all dressed in pants and long sleeves despite the unseasonable warmth. Bella had even brought a large sunhat.

"Let's go swimming!" Renesmee called, as she pulled off her over shirt and shorts to reveal a two piece suit of shorts and a tank top. Seth and Jacob tugged of their shirts and kicked off their shoes and headed to the water.

"Great idea!" Renee shouted, also stripping down to her suit and heading to the water. Renee walked in knee deep and got splashed by Renesmee. They both squealed, and then Renee turned back to Bella.

"Come on, Bella, it's nice out!" Renee coaxed. Bella pulled her hat down a little farther and pulled her sleeves down over her hands.

"I'm good, Mom. I don't want to get wet." Bella said.

Renee trudged out of the river and up to where Bella and I stood in the shade of a large tree. "Isabella Marie, let me give you a little advice: you only get one life to live, and you don't know how long that life is going to be. Every moment is a treasure. And every opportunity to experience life to its fullest should be seized!" Renee said with a large grin.

The clouds shifted in the sky, covering the sun. Bella handed me her cell phone and reluctantly let her mother drag her into the river, and they all splashed.

***************CHAPTER END*****************


	8. Night Falls

CHAPTER SIX

NIGHT FALLS

"These visits always seem to fly by!" Renee lamented as we stood by the front door gathering Renee and Phil's luggage. "I wish you and Edward would come visit! This place is so dreary. You both could use more sun."

"We will see, Mom." Bella said.

"Oh you always say that." Renee dismissed. "I bet you'll come see me, won't you dear?" Renee said to Renesmee.

"I would love to!" Renesmee smiled. "Just tell me when and where to show up."

"Now that's the spirit! You could learn a thing or two from your daughter here, Bella." Renee chastised.

"I'm sure I could, Mom." Bella smiled. "We'd better get going or we will be late." Bella coaxed.

"Phil, man, always a pleasure." Emmett said to Phil, shaking his hand.

"Sure thing, man. And no hard feelings about the arm wrestling. You can't win them all. I do work out quite a bit." Phil said good-naturedly.

"Hey, I don't need to win 'em all. Take care, man. See you next year." Emmett assured him.

"Yep, next year. You too Jasper." Phil said, pointing at Jasper. Jasper nodded and smiled. Renee's smile faltered as she glanced at Phil, until Esme began speaking to her.

"Thank you so much for coming, both of you, it's always great to have you." Esme said, hugging Phil and Renee in turn after Carlisle.

"Do you have everything?" Rosalie asked.

"Yes, Rose." said Renee. "Thank you so much!"

Bella ushered her mom and Phil out the front door and to the car. We put their bags in the trunk as Renee waved her final goodbyes from the open window of the back seat. I went to get in the driver's seat, but Bella shook her head and I rolled my eyes as I held the door open for her to slip into the driver's seat before I walked to the passenger side and got in.

We were passing the town line when Renee spoke up from the back seat. "Bella, I have to say, Renesmee is an absolutely lovely girl."

Bella and I smiled, and Bella said, "Thanks, Mom, we think so too."

"She is so smart and beautiful. She reminds me a lot of you." Renee said. There was an awkward silence. In reality it was brief, but for a small eternity, Bella and I froze at this statement.

I responded finally, "I agree, Renee. It's been a blessing to have her in our lives." I wasn't sure if Renee was going to push the thought, but she moved on, thankfully.

"She told me that she hasn't decided when or where to go to college." Renee stated.

"We are still discussing that. She's just not sure." Bella said.

I chimed in, "We are hoping that she will take a break from school so that we can spend more time with her before she goes off into the world. But it is ultimately her choice."

"I see. Well I'm sure she will do the right thing." Renee said.

The rest of the ride was filled with idle chit chat about going to Phil's parent's house and celebrating his parent's anniversary. When we arrived at the airport departure area, Phil and I unloaded the luggage while Renee talked with Bella.

"No matter how much you plan or how much you think you have it together, you can't control everything. Sometimes you just have to let go and let things follow their course." Renee shook her head. "I know you haven't had as much time with her as a normal mother would, but she still needs you."

"I know." Bella acknowledged. "And even when she is grown and doesn't really need me anymore, she still will. Daughters always need their mothers."

"That's right." Renee said, hugging Bella tightly. "Edward, take care of my girls." Renee said to me.

"I will definitely do that, Renee." I told her.

And then Renee and Phil were gone.

On the way home from the airport, I drove a little faster than Bella would have usually preferred, but she was distracted and did not seem to notice the pace of the scenery racing past us outside the windows. As we sped closer to home, my curiosity grew as to what had Bella so consumed in thought.

"You know that I can't read your mind." I teased. "Care to share what has you elsewhere?"

She did not smile, or even look in my direction, but said instead, "My mom knows, Edward."

"Considering how many secrets we are keeping from your mother, Bella, I'm afraid I need you to be more specific." I responded. There was so much that Renee definitely should not know, so I was keenly interested to know exactly what my wife thought her mother knew.

"She knows about Renesmee." Bella clarified.

"Are you referring to her comment earlier?" I asked.

"There's that, and I've just gotten this vibe from her the whole visit that she wasn't buying it. Look." she said as she lowered her shield and I saw glimpses of interactions between Bella and Renee where Renee definitely seemed dubious of our rouse regarding Renesmee's orphan status and subsequent adoption.

"What do we do?" asked Bella.

"Nothing for now." I said. "She hasn't said anything to you about it, so I wouldn't worry about it until she does."

"She's not going to let it go, Edward." Bella lamented.

"Are you sure?" I asked, pondering the possibilities. "Charlie has been kept in the dark for years and it hasn't been a problem."

"But he's not really in the dark, at least not completely. He knows about Jacob. He doesn't know what we are, but he knows we aren't normal." Bella said.

"If he knew the truth, if either of your parents did, it would only be a matter of time before the Volturi found out." I reminded Bella.

"Truthfully, Edward, I don't think the Volturi care that much in general so long as our existence doesn't get out in a conspicuous way. As long as my parents didn't go gossiping about it, I'm sure we'd be fine. Now if telling my mom or dad would cause them to write a book, or head for the talk show circuit, then perhaps we would have a problem. But I think in reality, it wouldn't be the end of the world to have to tell them both the complete truth." Bella rationalized.

"Bella, we have been over this so many times. I know you miss your mother and want to spend more time with her. Please don't think that I don't see that, and please don't think that it doesn't pain me. It does.

But however much we wish things to be different; we have to be outside the human existence to protect the people we love. The Volturi will look for any excuse to stand against us. You know that. We turned them away once, because we hadn't done anything wrong when they thought we had, but this? What you are talking about is the equivalent of treason for our kind. It is expressly forbidden." I told Bella sternly.

"You told me about what you were when I was still human." Bella whispered.

"No, Bella, I did not. I merely confirmed what you already knew when you confronted me. And you see what happened at the end of that." I said softly, referring to all that had transpired up until the moment Bella was turned seven years ago. Every step between her discovery of what I was, and her transformation to join me, was a consequence of breaking vampire law. The only thing that saved us was that Bella was turned to be one of us.

"Edward, my mom is going to divorce Phil and move to Portland." Bella said.

"I know. I heard your conversation with her." I admitted.

"So you see? She is going to be closer, which means she is going to visit more often. She is going to notice something is not right with us as she spends more and more time around us." Bella said.

"Perhaps. But she may also move to Portland and not visit as often. Or she might visit and not get suspicious." I said.

"Sure, and the sky might open up and rain unicorns, Edward, but it's probably not going to happen. Eventually my mom is going to say something." Bella insisted.

"Then we will deal with it at that time, Bella. I don't want to preemptively put your mother in danger if we don't absolutely have to do so." I advised.

Bella stared out the window again. Though I could not read her mind, I could tell that it was spinning with possibilities and scenarios. I frowned to myself and let my own mind wander. How amazing would it be to not have to hide? To have all of the walls down among our family, so that we could be an honest and true family, would be amazing. But it would mean certain death if the Volturi discovered what we had done. We would have no choice then but to turn any human we had told, or watch them be destroyed.

I secretly hoped that Bella's stubbornness came from her father and that Renee wouldn't pursue the issue. Unfortunately, Renee finding out about our family turned out to be the least of my concerns.

We entered the main house and went to the family room where everyone was sprawled about enjoying not having to keep pretenses. Having humans in the house for days on end is stressful when you're pretending to be human.

"Edward and I were discussing something on the ride home that I think we should talk about as a family." Bella began without fanfare. I stopped abruptly, not expecting the statement. She paused as everyone turned to look at her. She seemed to lose her nerve in that moment.

"If this is about not moving to start over in a new place, I'm all for it." Emmett chimed in. "I'm kind of bored with the whole thing anyway. Let's think of something new!"

"It's not about that, actually." Bella said. "It's about my mom."

"Bella, please don't do this." I begged.

In response to my pleading tone, Carlisle had a thought run through his head that I hadn't anticipated. "Does Bella want to turn her?"

"Dear God, no!" I startled. Everyone turned to me in confusion before they realized I was replying to a thought and not to what Bella had said. "Nevermind. Sorry."

"I'm not sure if you guys noticed, but my mom seemed fairly suspicious of our story about Renesmee." Bella said.

"She did seem to stare quite a bit." said Esme, "but maybe she was just taking it all in. You did kind of throw a fully grown grandchild at her. That's a lot to process."

"She noticed Renesmee's resemblance to Bella." I added with reluctance.

Everyone seemed to understand what this meant. It was only a matter of time before Renee put pieces together to a point she wouldn't be able to dismiss with reason. She would either go mad with it, or eventually come to Bella for answers.

"So what do we do?" Asked Rosalie.

"I think we tell her." Bella said firmly.

"And get us all killed?" Jasper bellowed.

Everyone began speaking at once. Before Bella could say more, Alice gasped and went rigid. She was having a vision. When I saw it unfold in her mind, I froze too. Everyone stopped and watched us, waiting for one of us to relay the content of this new vision. The only sound to be heard was the TV in the living room droning on about the weather.

Panic coursed through me as I watched. There was a man in a uniform, drinking at a bar. There was some sort of overhead announcement. The man threw back the last of his drink, pulled cash out of his wallet and walked away. The vision shifted then there was screaming and fire. When I realized what I had just seen, I felt the world slip out from under me.

"Alice. Alice! Is this real? Will this happen? Alice!" I tried desperately to get Alice to answer, but she stood speechless, her eyes glazed over, her mind trapped in the vision, and her face a mask of horror and devastation. Jasper was quickly by Alice's side. He was using his power of influencing emotion to try to ease Alice's shock and despair in order for her to be able to speak, but it had no effect.

The vision continued. I saw Bella, with one brown eye and one black eye. The vision shifted and I saw broken glass, Bella screaming, then drowning, then falling, then there was darkness. I saw Renesmee, laying on the ground, screaming, then Jacob on the ground, screaming, and then darkness. I saw glimpses of the Volturi, Aro laughing, and then darkness again. It was all fractured and none of it made sense. There was no telling if any of this would happen today or a hundred years from now, and there was so much of it missing, it seemed.

"Edward, I'm so sorry. Bella…" was all Alice could say before she collapsed. The look of shock on Jasper's face was sickening. Alice was so devastated by what she had seen that Jasper's power could barely help her at all.

"What is it? Is something going to happen to Bella?" asked Carlisle.

"Not exactly." I whispered, horrified, right before the breaking news bulletin interrupted the weather on the television.

"Breaking news, Flight 324 from Seattle to Phoenix has gone down over the desert of Nevada. Early reports are claiming a possible engine failure is to blame for the crash. Crews on site are attempting to comb through the debris, but as of now, based on the condition of the wreckage, the experts are saying that survival in a crash of this magnitude is not likely. As of this reporting, all passengers and crew are presumed dead."

Outside, the last rays of light faded from the sky.

***************CHAPTER END*****************


	9. Strangled Hope

CHAPTER SEVEN

STRANGLED HOPE

In the days following the crash, we waited for news regarding the remains of the passengers. Bella had called the airline and local authorities multiple times and got the same answer each time: they were working on clearing the wreckage and families would be notified once remains were identified.

The waiting was agonizing. We knew Renee and Phil were dead, that much was made clear by the news reports trumpeting the lack of survivors from the crash. But worse was that we could not move forward with attempting to find closure until we had Renee home and could put her to rest.

Every time Bella's phone rang, she jumped. Though she was desperate for answers, she would always hand it to me to answer. When a Phoenix number showed on Bella's caller ID, she shook her head and said "I can't." as she handed me the phone.

"Hello, this is Bella Cullen's phone. This is her husband, Edward. Who may I ask is calling?" I said.

"Edward, this is Stephen Dwyer, Phil's father." the man on the other line said with a deep timbre.

"Hello, sir. I'm sorry to be speaking with you under such circumstances. My condolences to you and your wife." I said.

"Thank you. Our condolences to you and Bella as well. Such a terrible thing." he sighed a deep breath and then said. "Deborah and I just wanted to let you know…" his voice cracked and he paused for sometime before continuing. "We wanted to let you know that they found Phil last night. We are going to pick him up today and bring him home to Arizona. We will be holding a service for him in a few days. You and Bella are more than welcome to attend."

I looked over at Bella, who had heard every word. She shook her head and closed her eyes, turning to walk away into the kitchen where Renesmee stood with Jacob.

"Mr. Dwyer, thank you so much for thinking of us. We do wish we could be there, but they still have not found Renee, and Bella is…well…" I wasn't sure how to finish that sentence.

"I understand, son. You two take care of yourselves. I hope they find Renee quickly." he said.

"Thank you, sir." I replied.

Unfortunately, nothing about this happened quickly. After providing extensive information to the authorities about Renee's previous medical and dental history, items she was wearing and carrying, and other possible identifiers, we still had no answers. As days passed it felt like we would never have closure. It was hardest on Bella.

One afternoon we were in my old room in the main house, the last place Renee had laid her head. Bella and I lay on the bed and I stroked her hair. Out of the blue, Bella said, "What if she's not dead, Edward."

"Bella, you know just as well as I do that no one survived that crash." I said.

"We don't know that, Edward." she said as she sat up and turned to look at me. "Why haven't they found her, then?"

"Bella, there are several passengers they have yet to locate." I reminded her.

"Maybe they are all together, wandering the desert. You don't know. None of us knows for sure." Bella insisted.

"Bella, come with me." I said as I took her hand and guided her across the hall to Alice's room. Jasper sat in a chair across from the window reading a novel on the tactical warfare of ancient Rome, while Alice was designing a dress on her laptop. They both looked toward us as Bella and I entered the room.

"Alice, Bella thinks that her mother and the other passengers that are still missing from the flight could possibly be wandering the desert. Can you see anything?" I asked Alice.

"Are you sure you want me to do this?" Alice asked from her mind, so that Bella would not hear. I nodded and she said, "Of course." before closing her eyes and searching the future for Renee. She began by remembering Renee from the visit, and then looking forward from there. Alice's mind stopped when Renee and Phil got in the car with me and Bella and drove off for the airport. Alice tried to look further, but all she could see was Bella, with one brown eye and one black eye, the broken glass, Bella screaming, then drowning, then falling, then Renesmee, laying on the ground, screaming, then Jacob on the ground, screaming, and the Volturi, Aro laughing, all intermingled with patches of darkness where the future could not be seen.

"I'm so sorry, Bella. I don't see her at all in the future. Alice whispered.

"You're wrong." Bella insisted, shaking her head. Alice looked to me, not knowing what to say. Bella turned and left the room. I followed her down the stairs and out the back door.

"Bella, where are you going?" I asked.

"I'm hungry. I need to hunt." She said with irritation, her black eyes blazing at me the truth of her need.

"Okay, let's hunt." I said, as we headed into the wilderness. Bella took the lead as usual and we crept through the trees silently, like death itself. Bella paused, seeming to be listening with her head cocked to one side. I heard nothing. When I tried to read her mind, I heard no words or thought, only a low humming sound.

"Bella." I whispered, the sound barely a breath. Bella jumped and turned to look at me as if she had forgotten I was there.

"Sorry." she whispered back to me. My face must have looked like a mask of shock to her in response. I was shocked. Bella never spoke out loud when we hunted. She always dropped her shield to speak to me so that we made no sound. I pointed to my temple, miming the question of why she wasn't speaking to me from her mind. Her brow pulled together and she shook her head.

What did that mean? What was the humming sound coming from her mind? Before I could ask, we heard the whisper of paws across the forest floor. A mountain lion, most likely, stalking its prey. Bella focused in on the sound and took off in the direction of the animal. I followed behind her wondering what I was supposed to do if she wasn't going to drop her shield and talk to me.

She stopped several hundred yards from the lion. I could also see the elk on which the lion was focused. I looked to Bella and she looked to me. I raised my eyebrow as if to say what's next. She pointed to herself, and then pointed to the lion. Next she pointed to me and then the elk. I stared at Bella in confusion, not because I did not understand her crude sign language of a plan, but because she was signing anything at all. Why wasn't she dropping her shield and talking to me?

Of course now was not the time to have the discussion. I repositioned myself to go after the elk once Bella went for the lion. Bella crept up on the lion and then lunged. Her movement was fluid. She took the lion down and tore at its throat with her teeth. I forgot about the elk completely as I watched Bella bury her face in the lion's neck, getting blood all over her face. It wasn't like her to be so messy. The animal twitched and attempted to whimper, but Bella had removed most of its throat. Bella stared down as the animal continued its minute flailing, dying slowly.

It wasn't like Bella to let an animal suffer like this. She sat staring at it before she viciously broke its neck. She stood, looking at me with a blank expression. I tried to read her mind, but all I could hear was a low hum. Was Bella humming to herself in her head?

She shook her head, as if waking from a dream. She looked from the lion to me, and then off into the distance.

"You didn't go after the elk." Bella said.

"No, I didn't." was the only response I could muster.

"Do you want to find it?" Bella asked.

"No, I've lost my appetite." I admitted. She nodded, and we walked back to the house in silence. What was happening to Bella?

"She could have survived." Bella insisted again. We had returned home and Bella had just finished showering and changing out of her bloodied clothes. We walked back to the main house, and as we entered, Bella refused to give up on the idea of her mother having survived the crash.

"It wouldn't be the first time someone survived a crash like that." Bella continued. "Maybe the search equipment is faulty. Maybe she is out there, lost, and no one is looking for her because they are just assuming everyone is dead."

"Bella, please, you cannot do this to yourself." I told her. "It's only going to be worse for you when they finally do find Renee. And they will find her, they just need time."

"They've had time! How long do you need to search a wreckage site in an open desert before you conclude that maybe, just maybe, someone walked away?" Bella said.

Bella's phone rang then, and she glanced at the caller ID. She looked as if she was going to be sick. "It's a Nevada number." she mumbled. She looked at me helplessly and handed the phone to me.

"Hello, this is Bella Cullen's phone. This is her husband, Edward. Who may I ask is calling?" I said.

"Mr. Cullen, my name is Officer David Wentz of the Clark County Sheriff's Department. It is with the deepest condolences that I regret to inform you that the body of your wife's mother, Renee Dwyer, has been located in the debris of the crash of Flight 324. Are you or your wife able to come identify the remains?" the officer asked.

Bella stepped away from me as if I was holding in my hand some dangerous thing that could kill her. She shook her head and turned away from me, walking out the back door into the yard. I looked at Jacob, and he went after her. I could see him approach her, and she embraced him, letting him wrap his arms around her. I felt a twinge of old jealousy and rage try to well up before I quelled it and spoke to the officer.

"Officer, is there any way to identify Renee remotely. Getting to Nevada would be a hardship for Bella right now." I decided not to elaborate and to let the officer make of that what he would.

"I can send you a photo of the effects recovered from Mrs. Dwyer's body. Would you be able to identify her from that?" the officer asked.

"Yes, sir, I would." I replied.

"I'll send the photos now." the officer said. I could hear him tapping and swiping as he texted the photos to me. There was a photo of a bloodied and tattered shirt. I recognized it as the one Renee had been wearing when we dropped her off at the airport. The next photo was of a single shoe, also Renee's. The third was the beaded bracelet that Renesmee had made for Renee. And the last was the tiny wallet on a keychain that Renee carried with her driver license and debit card, which seemed to be missing. That was probably what had taken them so long to identify her. If this was all they had to go by, it was a wonder that they ever figured out who she was.

"Those are her effects." I confirmed to the officer.

"You can come and claim her from the Clark County morgue, or you can make arrangements through your local mortuary to have her transported between facilities. I will text you the information. Please contact the morgue in the next couple of days so that they can make preparations. If you have any questions, please feel free to contact me. Again, I am very sorry for your loss." the officer said.

"Thank you, Officer." I said before ending the call. I walked outside to where Bella was standing, her face buried in Jacob's chest. If I didn't know better, it would almost seem as if she were weeping. Jacob released his embrace and as I touched Bella's back she looked to me and then wrapped her arms around me.

"When can we pick her up?" Bella asked, not lifting her head from my shoulder.

I turned my head to see Alice, in the house, her eyes unfocused, searching the future. She blinked as if to clear her head, looked at me solemnly, and shook her head. "There's no way, Edward. There will not be a cloud in that sky for a very long time."

"Bella, we can't go get your mother. There is no cloud cover in Nevada. We would be completely exposed. The officer said we could make arrangements to have her transported here." I told her.

"You want to transport my mother? She is my mother, not a piece of mail, Edward. I need to be there to bring her home. I'm not going to let her travel alone." Bella hissed as she pulled away from me.

"Bella, how do you propose we do that?" I asked. "There is no way to cover ourselves with cloth enough to cover every part of us that might sparkle in the multitude of sun light between here and Nevada and back again. Even if we could manage such full and complete coverage, eventually we would have to identify ourselves to claim your mother's body, and then risk exposure."

"There must be some kind of makeup to cover our skin." Bella insisted.

"Believe me, Bella," Alice said, "we have looked, and we have tried many things, but there is no makeup that can cover our skin. No matter what brand, or how much you apply, it would still reflect the sun in an unnatural way."

I put Bella's face in my hands and looked deep into her dark amber eyes, "All it takes is one person to not let it go, and then we would be exposed."

Renesmee came outside and approached Bella. "Mom, I will go get Grandma. She doesn't have to travel alone, and you and Dad don't have to risk your safety. Please, let me do this."

Jacob walked over to Renesmee and stood next to her. "I'll go with her. We will bring Renee home, Bella."

Bella wanted to argue. I didn't have to read her mind to know she was searching for some argument, any argument, so that she could be the one to bring Renee home. When she couldn't find one, she sighed heavily and then closed her eyes. "Fine." she breathed. "You two can bring her home." Bella walked off toward the trees behind the house.

Jasper, sensing Bella's emotional state, attempted to help Bella with her pain. As soon as the effects began to wash over her, she lashed out, startling Jasper.

"Don't take this from me, Jasper! This pain is for my mother and you can't have it! My mother is gone and I can't cry for her and I can't even go get her to bring her home! This pain, it's all I have right now and you can't take it from me!" she screeched.

Jasper held up his hands and stepped back from Bella, even though she was yards away from him. "I'm sorry Bella, I just wanted to help."

"I didn't ask for your help." she spat. Seeing the looks on everyone's faces at her outburst, she looked instantly guilty and then headed into the woods behind the house.

"I didn't mean…" Jasper began.

"It's okay, Jasper. She's hurting." I said. "Give her time."

I called the morgue and notified them that Renesmee and Jacob would be coming to claim Renee. We had to have Bella notarize a document allowing it since the remains were not being released to a funeral home or to Bella herself.

The drive to the airport was silent.

We had decided to stay in the city since Jacob and Renesmee would be returning the same day with Renee's remains and we would need to pick them up from the airport. On the way to the hotel where we were staying to wait for their return, I asked Bella, "Did your mother ever say what she wanted…you know…in the event of her passing?" I couldn't imagine Renee talking about such a morbid topic. She tended to look on the bright side and avoid anything negative. She disliked unhappiness.

Bella was quiet, and I thought she might not answer, but then she shifted in her seat and turned to me. "Mom said she and Phil took that trip to Ireland, she said she loved it there. Said she could imagine spending her last days surrounded by all of that green and history. One other time she said she would never want to be in a box for eternity. So I guess we should have her cremated. Spread her ashes in Ireland somewhere. That's all I've got." Bella sighed. "It's not something she ever talked about outright. I guess she figured she had more time."

"We all did." I said softly. Bella nodded and returned her gaze to the scenery flying by outside.

Jacob and Renesmee returned to Seattle with Renee and we took her to a local funeral home to be cremated. The proprietors were more than happy to provide rush service for a handsome sum.

While we waited in the parlor, Renesmee reached into her backpack as she spoke.

"Mom, when we picked up Grandma Renee, they gave us her things." Renesmee pulled out the bag and looked at Bella. "Do you want them?"

Bella stared at the bag, her face not registering any understanding of the question. She seemed to have not heard Renesmee at all until she finally closed her eyes and shook her head.

"No. I don't want them. I don't want those things to be my last reminders of her." Bella whispered.

"Is it okay if I keep the bracelet?" Renesmee asked.

"This question seemed to shake Bella from her stupor as her eyebrows rose and she said, "Yes! Of course, sweetheart. Keep it." Bella insisted.

Renesmee reached into the bag and grabbed the bracelet. She put it on the same wrist as the one Jacob had given her. Tears tumbled down her cheeks as she handed the bag to Jacob, and looked at him with pleading eyes.

"Will you…please…I can't…" Renesmee stumbled to find the words to ask Jacob to throw away Renee's things. Renesmee couldn't bring herself to do it.

Jacob nodded and took the bag from her, walking into the next room to find the proprietor so that he could properly dispose of the items.

After several hours, we were given Renee's ashes in a plain wooden urn. The drive home was a silent one, and I drove as fast as I dared to without drawing attention. Bella sat in the front seat, clutching the urn, and staring at the window. She wasn't even looking out of the window. She was simply staring at it, eyes not seeming to see anything.

And so began the weeks of waiting. We had to delay the trip to Ireland several weeks for the weather to be right for our kind to travel, and during that time, Bella carried her mother around the house and was in quite a numb state.

"Bella, is there anything we can do for you, dear?" Esme asked.

"No Esme. But thank you for asking." Bella said as she took the urn outside to make her rounds through the woods. She spent many hours just walking around with Renee's remains.

Once she exited the house, I turned to Carlisle.

"Carlisle, I don't know what to do for her. She is in so much pain. It kills me to see her like this." I said.

"I know, son. I wish I knew what to tell you. Bella's situation is very different from anything we have experienced. Most of us lost our parents before the change, and if we didn't, we had no contact with them after. Bella has held on to her human life through her parents, and now she has lost a piece of that life. It is a brand of suffering I would not wish on anyone." Carlisle said.

"There has to be something that can be done." I urged.

"Only time can tell, Edward. Just be there for her. That is all you can do." Esme said.

One morning, several days after Renee had been cremated; we heard a large vehicle come slowly up the drive. We went outside to see who was coming. The driver hopped out with a clipboard and came up to the front door.

"Delivery for Bella Cullen." the driver said.

"Who is it from?" she asked.

"Renee Dwyer." the driver said.

It was the storage container carrying Renee's belongings. We had been so focused on everything else that we had overlooked this.

The driver looked at Bella and then to me and said, "Where do you want it?"

"Over by the garage." I said.

Bella went back into the house and I followed her, leaving the driver to unload the container.

"Bella?" I said as I placed a hand on her shoulder. She turned to me, eyes wide.

"Edward, what am I going to do with her things? I can't…" she paused.

"You don't have to do anything with them right now, Bella. We will hang onto the container as long as we need to until you are ready. It doesn't have to be today, or a year from now, or a decade from now. Whenever you are ready." I assured her.

"Can someone sign for this?" came the driver's voice from the front door. I went to the door and signed for the container. As the driver was walking away, and I was about to close the door, I heard Bella behind me.

"Wait." she said.

I turned to look at her and she walked toward me and said, "I can't just ignore it. My mother's whole life is in that container."

"Okay." I said and opened the door. We walked out to where the container had been placed by the garage. On the outside of the container, which was bright green and about the size of an SUV, was a keypad. I checked the paperwork in my hand and there was no key code on it that I could see.

"Well that's inconvenient." I sighed.

Bella stood staring at the keypad. She lightly ran her finger over the flat metal buttons of the keypad as if the gesture might make them yield the answer to the riddle. The keys were like a phone keypad, with numbers and letters. There was no way to know how many digits to use. Bella seemed to be deep in thought, and then she smiled.

"What is it, Bella?" I asked.

"I can just imagine my mother standing in front of this thing trying to pick a passcode. She was terrible at something like that. She hated electronics because she always had to remember codes and passwords. I'll bet..." her voice trailed off as she types numbers on the keyboard: 091387. Bella's birthday.

There was a beep, and then a click. Bella grabbed the handle of the door and pulled it open.

Toward the back were neatly stacked boxes of similar size, all clearly labeled. It was obvious that Renee had begun with the best of intentions at being organized and methodical. However, moving closer to the front of the unit, it looked as if she had miscalculated the number of boxes she would need because the boxes in this section looked to be boxes from a grocery or liquor store dumpster. Right at the entry of the unit was a large pile of garbage bags, some white and some black.

"Oh, Mom." Bella sighed with a small smile. She began inspecting the bags at her feet. "I'm pretty sure these are all clothes."

I nodded, "I see a couch, a bed, a dresser, and I think that might be a coffee table over there." I said. Bella worked her way back through the pile of garbage bags to the first box. She reached in the box and pulled out what looked at first to be a large leather bound book, but as she opened it and began to turn the pages, I realized it was a photo album.

The corners of Bella's mouth turned upward in the faintest smile as she turned the pages. She pulled out another, and another, and as she pulled out one after the other and quickly flipped through them, a shadow came across her face and her brow pulled together.

"What is it, Bella?" I asked.

"These are all from when I was little." Bella said as she opened a second box and then a third, all filled with albums that in turn were filled with pictures of Bella before high school. She opened a fourth box that had three albums and a few linens. Two of the albums were freshman and sophomore year of high school. The third album had pictures from the day Bella left for Forks, a few from when Bella and I had gone to Florida before graduation, some from our wedding day, and a few from barbeques in previous years.

Bella looked at the pile surrounding her and then down at the album in her hands.

"One album." Bella whispered.

What do you mean, Bella? There are dozens of albums here." I said.

She looked at me and then closed her eyes and shook her head. "I was wrong. I can't do this right now." she said as she got up and left the container. I looked around at the piles and then followed Bella out, locking the container behind me.

Charlie called a few days after Renee's belongings arrived. He sounded exhausted, like he hadn't had rest in some time. Bella didn't seem to notice it when she spoke to him.

"How are you, Bells?" Charlie asked.

Bella who was lying on the couch, clutching Renee's urn, exhaled and said in a monotone, "How do you think I am, Dad?"

"Bella, I know you miss your mother, but this isn't healthy. You need to get up and do things. You need to live. It's what your mother would have wanted." Charlie insisted.

"Well, she's dead now so it's not like she can be disappointed." Bella replied.

"My God, Bella! How can you say something so heartless?" Charlie gasped.

Bella blinked, suddenly realizing what she had said, and to whom she had said it. "I'm so sorry, Dad. I'm a mess right now. I just want to lay mom to rest so I can try to move on."

"Are you sure you don't want to come for a walk with me? Just for a little bit?" Charlie coaxed. Bella glanced outside at the rare, sunny Forks day and said "Maybe another time, Dad. I gotta go." she ended the call before he could respond.

I sat on the arm of the sofa near Bella's head and caressed her hair. "Bella, your father is right. Let's go outside and get some air, move around, just enjoy the day."

Bella turned her head to look up at me. "I really don't feel like it, Edward."

"I know, Bella." I said as I knelt on the floor next to the couch. "I know you don't feel like it. I know you feel like the whole world is ending, but I can assure you, it is not. Please, come outside with me. Come down to the river."

Jacob, leaning against the doorway, added, "Renesmee and I will come too. Let's go get some sun."

Renesmee chimed in, "Please, Mom? Let's go outside." Bella looked at Renesmee, and though I could tell she wanted to decline, she couldn't say no to Renesmee.

We went out the back door and walked through the trees to the river. Jacob came up right behind us carrying towels. "Let's jump in!"

"The water is probably freezing and not all of us run at a hundred and eight degrees, Jacob." Renesmee laughed.

"Hey, I'm the bravest one here because my temperature has the most difference between me and the water, so don't complain." Jacob said as he removed his shirt, took his phone, wallet, and keys from his pockets, kicked off his socks and shoes, and ran for the water.

"Wait for me!" Renesmee yelled as she too dumped her phone and shoes and ran for the water fully clothed.

Bella watched them with a hint of a smile as they splashed and tackled each other in the water.

Instinctively, Bella had halted her pace under the shade of a tree near the river. "Will anything ever feel happy again?" Bella asked.

"In time, Bella. In time" I kissed her forehead and wrapped my arms around her. "Let's go in the sun. We don't have to hide here."

Bella nodded and walked out from the shade of the tree. Her skin sparkled like a field of diamonds in the sun. I was caught by her beauty. She looked to me and held out her hand. I joined her in the warmth of the day and we held each other, both hoping this trip to Ireland might help us to move on, and both blissfully naïve to what was in store.

"Bella! Come on!" Jacob yelled.

Bella said nothing and made no move to join him. Jacob whispered to Renesmee and they both came out of the water toward us. I could see what they had planned and I wasn't sure if Bella would go along with it.

"Mom, come play." Renesmee said.

"Just a little, Bella. It feels good." Jacob assured her.

Bella sighed and looked at me. "They are going to throw me in the river if I don't go with them, aren't they?"

Jacob and Renesmee both grinned. "I think that's the plan." I said with a chuckle.

Bella sighed again, handed me her cell phone, and took Renesmee's outstretched hand to guide her to the water. Jacob and I stood and watched them.

"Is she going to be okay?" Jacob asked.

"I wish I knew, Jacob. I can't read her, and she is keeping me out as much as she can. I don't know how to help her." I admitted.

Jacob nodded. "Edward, I lost my mom when I was younger. Old enough to know what was happening, but too young to really do anything about it. It's a brutal thing."

I had heard the story of Jacob's mother, Sarah. She had been killed in a car accident on the highway between La Push and Forks when Jacob was nine years old. Jacob's twin sisters Rachel and Rebecca were thirteen at the time and they took care of Jacob until Rachel left for college and Rebecca got married and travelled with her husband right after high school. Having his sisters had helped, but even to this day Jacob missed his mother. He carried that hole in his heart and always would.

"I know." I said. "I know it is brutal."

"Do you know, Edward? Do you? Because I get the feeling that maybe you don't." Jacob said.

I didn't turn to look at him. There was no malice in his accusation. He was simply stating his observation.

"My parents were taken by influenza when I was seventeen. I almost died too, before Carlisle turned me. You say that I don't know what she is going through, and I fear that you may be right. I don't. By the time I got past the newborn phase and could finally think straight, it seemed too late to mourn my family. There was so much more to deal with that I just never let it in.

As vampires our memories are flawless records of everything we experience from the moment our change is complete. Everything before that, every human memory, fades with time. I don't even remember my family, truth be told. Not the same way I remember everything else. It's like looking through a dirty window when I try to remember being human, while everything since then is vibrant and clear.

All I have are a few pictures, newspaper clippings, and trinkets. In some ways it has been a blessing, the forgetting. I don't carry the weight of my past life in that way. But sometimes I wish I had had the chance to mourn my family. I am almost jealous of her suffering, in a way, if you can believe that. How horrid is that?"

" Yeah, that's pretty awful." Jacob agreed.

"I know. I know it is. I envy her in some ways, and yet, in others, I would not wish her suffering on my worst enemy. She has to live with this for the rest of eternity. There will be no fading from memory. The window to these moments will never cloud over with time. It will always be as bright and clear as the moment it happened. All of the moments, razor sharp in her mind for all time. She will always remember losing her mother and father and how it felt. Every moment. Every emotion. Perfect recall of the most exquisite agony until the end of time."

Jacob shifted his stance and rubbed the back of his neck. "Damn. That's...damn."

"Exactly." I confirmed.

"How does someone move past something like that?" Jacob whispered.

I closed my eyes and shook my head. "They don't. I've never seen this first hand, but Carlisle has. He says it's..." I couldn't finish the sentence. Carlisle had told me a story of one vampire he had met long ago that had made the mistake of trying to hold on to his human life. It hadn't ended well. The vampire lost his wife and child to some illness and he then went mad and was put down by the Volturi. Just the thought of that end for Bella terrified me.

"Edward, you can't just let her fall apart." Jacob insisted.

"I don't know how to stop it." I argued.

"Well figure it out, man!" Jacob said, putting his hand on my shoulder.

I shrugged him away. "Don't you think I've tried? I'm still trying, but I don't have the answers!"

Jacob leaned in close and breathed his vehement demand into my face. "Then find someone with the answers, Edward!" Then he turned and jogged back to where Renesmee and Bella were wading in the river.

Bella looked over at me and I wondered if anyone had the answers to something like this. Was there anyone that could help Bella?

***************CHAPTER END*****************


	10. Emerald Isle

CHAPTER EIGHT

EMERALD ISLE

"I know I said I wanted to see the world, but not like this." Renesmee said as we made our dissent into Shannon Airport on the west coast of Ireland. She held on to the moonstone and amethyst necklace around her neck that Renee had given her as she closed her eyes, thinking about the grandmother she had only gotten to know for a few days.

We decided to stay in a small cottage in County Clare near the Cliffs of Moher but secluded enough to be away from wandering tourists. The night sky on the road to the cottage was bright with starlight. I had chosen a two bedroom one bathroom country cottage in Ballysteen. It reminded me of our cottage at home with the stone walls that seemed to come out of the earth. I thought the familiarity might comfort Bella. It had a large, white Dutch front door that opened into a large kitchen and living room. Three doors off of the back of the room led to the two bedrooms and one bathroom which were an addition to the original one room cottage that now made up just the living room and the kitchen. There was a large stone fireplace off to one end of the house with a great wooden mantle.

The furnishings were sparse but clean. There was a small, hand crafted wood table and four chairs in the dining area. Two long stuffed gray couches sat perpendicular to the fireplace with a small four-legged wood coffee table between them. The curtains on the windows were light blue wool that draped to the floor.

"It says here that we can walk up to the edge of the cliffs and spread the ashes. It's about 1 kilometer north of here." Bella said as she poured over the details of the brochure for the area where she had decided to lay her mother to rest.

"Some of us need sleep." Jacob groaned as he flopped onto the couch nearest the front door. Even Renesmee, who was usually not effected by lack of sleep for days at a time, seemed to be worn out as she sat on the other couch opposite Jacob and yawned.

"He's right." said Bella. "Let them rest. We can go hunt."

"And leave them alone?" I said under my breath to Bella.

"Edward." Bella said with an exhausted sideways glance.

"We will be fine, Dad. Jacob has been protecting me my whole life. What has been going on with you lately?" Renesmee asked with exasperation.

Jacob spoke up. "It's okay, Nessie. I'd be the same way with my own daughter, if I had one. Sometimes when someone is so precious to you, you don't fully trust anyone else to be able to protect them the way you would. Love is funny that way." he said as he dozed off.

It was endlessly irritating when, on the rare occasion, Jacob expressed some pearl of wisdom that managed to cut me to my core. I hated to admit that a part of me actually despised him a great deal less than the rest of me did. He wasn't so bad, when he wasn't after the women in my life.

"We will be right back." I warned.

Ireland is a truly beautiful country. The only downside for us that night was the lack of trees and wildlife on the small island. Bella and I wandered the dark landscape for sometime looking for a safe place to hunt. We found nothing but large expanses of flat land and rolling hills.

We were considering giving up when we came to a patch of trees where we could smell something just beyond the tree line. As we approached the perimeter of trees between the field where we were standing and the next field over, we now saw a herd of sheep sleeping. I made a mental note of our location so that I could find out who owned this herd and send them anonymous compensation for the animals we were about to consume, plus extra for the worry and loss the owner would likely suffer due to our actions.

Bella squinted at the herd and then shook her head. "You go first." she said.

It is amazing how such a simple sentence can seemingly halt the turning of the world. In that moment I had a feeling creep into me which I had not experienced for some time: dread bordering on fear. For years we had hunted with Bella in the lead and me following. I tried to calm my nerves. Bella had been through a great deal of stress, and I knew she was feeling out of sorts.

"Are you sure you want to do this right now?" I asked.

"I have to eat." Bella said. She was right. Bella looked ravaged. The moonlight shining down on her face was a stark contrast to her pitch black eyes with deep dark circles. Her skin looked dusty rather than smooth like marble. I was surprised she could function as hungry as she appeared to be.

We crept closer and could see the sheep sleeping in huddled groups in the field. If we were careful to grab animals close to the edges, we could get in and out without disturbing the entire herd.

Bella nodded and I went ahead of her. I crept up downwind from a large ewe that was off a little ways from a main grouping of animals. I used my speed and strength to grab the ewe, keeping her mouth shut with one hand, and grabbing her around the waist with the other arm. The other animals barely moved as I ran back to the trees where Bella was still hiding.

The shock had worn off and the ewe was beginning to kick wildly.

"Bella, hurry, before she wakes the others!" I murmured.

Bella hesitated for the briefest of moments and then she was on the ewe. She was tearing into its neck, and because of the angle I was holding the animal, I had a front row seat watching Bella tear out the animal's throat. Blood was everywhere, on Bella's face, in her hair, dripping down her neck. Her eyes were wild with hunger. She made more of a mess than anything. When she pulled away from the animal, her eyes were wild and she looked mad with hunger. I dropped the animal and stepped back.

There was a rustling from the field as animals moved in their sleep and it caught Bella's attention. Before I knew what was happening, Bella had descended on the animals at the edge of the herd. She was tearing out their throats, but she was moving too fast to actually be consuming anything of substance. Panic spread like wildfire as animals startled awake and ran in all directions.

Bella was tearing them apart until a lamb, lost and terrified, ran into her leg. She glanced down and grabbed the lamb by the scruff of the neck. She lifted it to look in its eyes. As her gaze locked with the lamb's, the lamb froze and Bella seemed to be deep in thought as she looked at it. Bella opened her mouth, venom pouring out and running down her face. As a reflex I tried to read her and when I did I heard humming coming from her mind; no thought, just sound.

I ran to her and yanked the animal from her hand, swiftly placing it on the ground and turning back to Bella. Just then, above the screams of the sheep came the barking of dogs and a voice. A human voice. Bella's head whipped around to see the man, wielding a shotgun, running toward the herd in the dark from his tent at higher ground. He tripped and fell coming down the hillside. He tried to use his free hand to catch himself and instead cut open his wrist on a low lying bush. It wasn't enough to kill him, but it was enough to have a steady stream of blood pouring fourth from the wound.

The man was sitting on the ground several hundred yards away, examining his arm, which was a good thing because if he had looked up just then, he would have seen Bella, drenched in blood, running right for him.

Luckily Bella was still hungry and weak, and I am so much faster than she, because I overtook her as she ran, grabbed her off her feet, and then bolted into the trees with her. I ran out into the next field and just kept running. Bella tore at me and snarled in my arms, but I would not release her. I couldn't take her back to the cottage because she would wake Jacob and Renesmee. I knew she would not want them to see her like this.

I stopped two miles from the cottage, in an open field with not a person or house in sight, and I stood and held Bella as she struggled and screamed. I couldn't bear to see her in such a state. I held her tightly and tried to think of what I could do to calm her. Once, when I had thought I was alone in the main house, I was playing the piano and I felt compelled to sing. Bella had heard me and had been drawn by my voice. I personally was not fond of my singing, but Bella had been mesmerized.

I hoped that such a feeling could reach her in her current state, and I began to sing to her. It was nothing specific, not a real song of any kind, just vocalizing at first, to try to catch her attention. She paused briefly, before continuing to try to escape, so I searched for words. I sang to her about the sea and the waves, about storms and destruction, and then I sang about those storms ending, and the sun, and the beauty of life. I sang about anything and everything until she finally calmed.

"Edward." she whispered. "I'm so sorry. I don't know what came over me."

I held her tighter, not to restrain her, but to comfort her.

"Bella, what were you thinking? You could have been seen. And that man? Bella…" I said until she interrupted.

"I know, Edward. I'm so glad you stopped me. It must be because I'm so hungry, but his blood…I smelled it and I couldn't think of anything else. Normally I can avoid humans even when they are injured, but this time… it was frightening." Bella said, shaking her head against my chest.

"Let's go back and get you cleaned up." I whispered as I lead Bella back to the cottage.

When Bella and I returned we used the outside hose to rinse ourselves as much as possible. Bella had been covered in blood, and because I had tried to restrain her, my clothes were ruined as well. Inside Renesmee was asleep in the second room and Jacob had fallen asleep on a pull out couch in the living room. When we entered the house, Jacob sat up. He relaxed slightly when he realized it was just me and Bella, but upon second glance he noticed our soaked, blood-stained clothing and asked, "What happened? Are you okay?"

"Yes, we're fine. Go back to sleep." I said. Jacob gave me a questioning look, and after looking Bella up and down asked from his mind "Are you sure? Bella looks like hell."

I nodded and Jacob shook his head and went back to sleep. After we finished cleaning ourselves up in the bathroom, throwing our soiled clothes into the blazing fire in the fireplace, Bella and I went to first bedroom and sat on the bed.

"Penny for your thoughts." I said softly. Bella made a motion of her finger over her pursed lips to hush me as my voice had disturbed Jacob. He grunted and rolled over, twisting himself further in the comforter. I rose from the bed and closed the bedroom door.

Bella looked at me with her dark amber eyes. If she had gotten enough to eat, her eyes would be a lighter gold. She would need to hunt again soon, an event that, after tonight, I was not looking forward to again. I heard the humming sound that seemed to be coming from inside her head, and after a time her shield came down. It stuttered a little before falling completely. "This all seems so surreal, Edward. I keep waiting to wake up and find that this is all a dream and my mom is still alive. Every time my cell phone rings, for a split second I hope it's her before realizing it's not her. And it will never be her. And I will never wake from this nightmare because vampires don't sleep, therefore they can never wake. And that thought kills me a little more every day."

My poor Bella. So much torment. I could think of nothing to say, so I sat next to her and put my arms around her while she quietly rocked back and forth, unable to weep.

Jacob and Renesmee slept until around ten o'clock in the morning, local time. They got ready and we all walked to the cliffs to spread Renee's ashes. There were not many people in the location we chose. Close by was an elderly couple, reminiscing about when they had been wed here over fifty years ago. In the distance there was a blond woman staring out into the ocean. She seemed to be speaking to herself, as there was no one else around her. And to our other side was a couple with their young son. He had to be about seven or eight.

"Here you go, Mom. I hope you find peace. I miss you so much. I'm so sorry." Bella said as she opened the urn, stepped to the edge, and upended the vessel. As the ashes fell from the urn, the wind began to blow softly and the ashes seemed to dance out to the ocean. The corners of Bella's mouth turned up almost imperceptibly in the biggest smile she could manage.

We stood there for some time. As we left, I noticed that the elderly couple had moved on, and the parents and their child were heading back to the Visitor Center, but the blond woman was still at the edge of the cliffs. She glanced over as I was looking at her, and she seemed to look me straight in the eye. Her gaze swept to Jacob and Renesmee. Her brow rose just slightly as she turned back to the ocean and began muttering to herself again.

I tried to read her mind, but she was unfamiliar to me, and at this distance I could not hear her. She was probably here for similar reasons. Her body language seemed to emanate grief.

After spreading Renee's ashes, we returned to the small cottage and Bella curled up on the couch with the urn that had held her mother's ashes.

"I saw a little pub just south of us in St. Brigid's Well when we were coming in. We could go get something to eat and take a walk." said Jacob.

"That's probably a good idea. You should go." Bella said in a lifeless voice, not looking at anyone, and staring off into space.

I tried to think of a reason for them not to go off alone, but they did need to eat and we had been so focused on spreading the ashes that we hadn't thought to buy food for the cottage. "Fine" I conceded. "But don't be gone too long. We will go buy food at the market for the rest of the stay."

"Leave them alone, Edward." Bella said in a flat tone.

"We will be fine, Dad." Renesmee assured me as she and Jacob walked out the door.

I hated to admit it, but I didn't want them to go. Being here alone with Bella was difficult. She was so despondent, and I felt so helpless and useless. Being alone with her brought my inability to the forefront.

With nothing to distract from the silence, I was left to try to do something, but what? What could I say? What could I do? I felt like the most useless husband that had ever existed. Here she was in pain, and not only could I not help her, but I was uncomfortable around her. I walked over to her and sat on the floor next to where she lay on the sofa. Unable to think of anything to do, I reached up and held her hand.

"There are no words to make this better, Bella. But just know that I love you and I'm here for you." I said. It was the best I could do at the moment.

"I know." She said. "I wish I could sleep. I wish there could be some hours of the day when I don't have to think about this. But I can't get away from it. There is no respite. Is this why vampires avoid relationships with humans?"

"Ultimately, yes, this is why." I said.

"This is going to happen to my dad some day." she whispered. Apparently this thought had just occurred to her, and it was not helping at all.

"Bella, your dad is still relatively young. He will probably be around for a while." I said.

"Unless his planes crashes, or his car, or someone shoots him…" she became increasingly upset as she contemplated all of the possible ways she could lose her father.

"Bella, stop." I said softly. "I know you don't want to hear this, but he will die someday, and whether it is tomorrow or fifty years from now, it still won't seem like it was long enough. When we get home, you can have all the time with him you can handle, if it will make you feel better, but obsessing over what's going to happen down the road will only take away your time in the here and now."

"You're right." she sniffed. Bella and I sat like that in the living room for several hours until the sun began to sink lower toward the horizon. Jacob and Renesmee should have returned hours ago. I pulled out my cell phone and tried Renesmee's phone. It went straight to voicemail.

Trying not to panic, I dialed Jacob next. His phone went directly to voicemail too. The only reason a phone goes straight to voicemail like that without ringing is if it's off. Why would they turn off their phones? I could think of several reasons why they would turn them off voluntarily, and even more reasons why they might have been shut off involuntarily, and none of these possibilities was good.

I was about to leave Bella to search for them, when Renesmee and Jacob came in the door. They were both soaking wet and covered in dirt and grass. Jacob was limping. Bella got up and Jacob eased onto the couch in obvious pain.

"What happened?!" I demanded.

"It was an accident. It's all my fault. I shouldn't have let go." Renesmee wailed.

"You didn't do anything wrong, Nessie, it's okay." Jacob panted through waves of pain as his bones attempted to heal at unnatural angles. I could hear the crackle of them trying to reattach from inside his leg. Jacob screamed as his accelerated healing created reattachments that would never support weight or function properly. Renesmee's face contorted with sympathetic agony.

I tried to get a closer look at Jacob's leg and he recoiled. "Do you want this to heal wrong and stay that way? It'll be hard to strut around like an insufferable know-it-all when you can't even walk properly." I admonished.

"Don't touch me!" growled Jacob, lunging forward. I stepped back and grabbed Renesmee to get her out of arm's reach of Jacob.

"Stop it! Both of you!" Renesmee shouted in hysterics. "Jacob, let my father help you." she demanded. Then she turned to me and whispered, "Daddy, please help him." The pain in her eyes cut me like a knife. Bella put her arm around Renesmee to comfort her.

"Jacob, please. I hold two medical degrees and I've helped Carlisle in hospitals and on battlefields. I can help you." I told him.

Jacob looked at Renesmee and took a deep breath. "Fine." he grunted through clenched teeth.

I examined his ankle and it was healing quickly but terribly. Without help, this would cripple him. I would have to break it in several places to reset it. And I had no morphine or any other painkillers. "You both need to leave the room." I said to Renesmee and Bella. "This is going to hurt him a great deal and if he can't keep himself from lashing out then I don't want you two getting hurt."

"Can't we do anything at all for the pain?" asked Bella.

"I have nothing like that here." I said.

"I had to have my whole right side reset when that newborn blood sucker crushed me that one time. I think I can handle a busted ankle." Jacob panted.

"Jacob, Carlisle gave you enough morphine to knock out a herd of elephants when he reset your bones, and it still wasn't enough to take the pain away completely. Now you think long and hard about how much that hurt with all those drugs and tell me again whether you think you can handle this." I said.

"I have an idea." said Renesmee.

"Now is not the time for experimenting, Renesmee." I said.

"Edward is right, Nessie." Jacob said, looking at her with an intense gaze. "If I ever hurt you it would kill me."

Renesmee walked up to Jacob and touched his face. Using her power to place thoughts into people's minds, she showed him a memory of when she was younger; a happy memory of the two of them. It was a vision of their first Christmas together. The one right before the Volturi had come for us because our cousin Irina had seen Renesmee and thought she was an immortal child. Jacob and Renesmee sat next to the tree opening gifts at Charlie's house. Jacob had made her a bracelet. The same bracelet that was on the wrist joined to the hand providing the visions, sitting just below Renee's bracelet.

Jacob reached up and softly touched his bracelet and smiled. His heart rate slowed and I could see that the endorphins from the positive emotions and the distraction of Renesmee's vision helped to ease Jacob's pain. But would it work when I was breaking his bones repeatedly? Renesmee stopped the visions and when she moved her hand away from Jacob's face, he gently reached up to stop her.

"Don't stop." Jacob winced as his bones continued to mend "Please. Show me more." He begged. Renesmee looked to me.

"We will try this, for you Renesmee, but know that I will kill him if I have to in order to protect you." I warned.

"Deal." said Jacob before Renesmee could retort. "Do it."

I nodded to Renesmee and she began a mental slideshow of sorts for Jacob as I began setting his ankle. I broke the easier spots first because they were quick breaks. Jacob grimaced, but I could tell he was still enthralled with Renesmee. This next break would be the worst because I had to do it slowly to make sure it broke in the exact right spots.

"It's about to get worse." I said as I began the break. Jacob trembled in pain as Renesmee struggled to show him images strong enough to distract him. We were nearing the end, but I could tell Jacob was slipping. A growl began deep in his chest. "Renesmee, you need to leave. He's going to lose it." I warned.

Bella stepped up and put her hand on Renesmee's shoulder. "Show him something else, Renesmee. Something he needs to see." she said softly.

I wasn't sure what Bella meant. Renesmee wasn't either, at first. She looked at Bella and blushed a deep crimson before looking away. Her mind was a whirlwind of images, but the loudest were the words "I'm sorry, Mom."

I wasn't sure what she could possibly have to be sorry for until I saw it in Jacob's mind. Renesmee showed Jacob a thought she had while he was hanging off the edge of the cliff. It was a thought she felt was a betrayal to the connection she believe existed between Bella and Jacob. When Renesmee thought she would lose Jacob, she suddenly saw him differently. She had seen what they could be; what they wouldn't be if he died. She was profoundly saddened by the thought of that loss; not only losing him, but losing that future. Renesmee saw herself with Jacob. Not as a friend, but as more.

It wasn't until that moment, when she thought that the chance was gone, that she realized how much she wanted it. She could suddenly see the possibilities. They were standing facing each other, and then they kissed. Their images shifted and Jacob was in a tuxedo and Renesmee was in a wedding dress.

Renesmee felt so conflicted by these foreign thoughts and emotions. She wasn't sure if she should feel guilty. She had grown up thinking that Jacob and Bella loved each other but that Bella had chosen me despite the imprint because our love was stronger. She had seen Jacob avoid other women out of what she thought was devotion to Bella. She felt guilty for thinking of Jacob romantically when his heart supposedly belonged to her mother.

The emotions that surged through Jacob at the sight of this vision were suffocating, and a little disturbing for a father to be witnessing. He truly did love Renesmee in a powerful, almost crippling way, and it seemed that Renesmee had now opened the door to similar feelings toward Jacob. I quickly finished the break in Jacob's ankle and he passed out, cutting off the nauseating wave of emotions from his mind.

"What the hell was that?" I demanded at Renesmee. She ignored me as she fawned over Jacob's unconscious body.

"What did you do?!" she demanded.

"He's passed out, Renesmee. I didn't kill him. Though I'm kind of feeling like I should." I added with disgust.

"He saved my life!" Renesmee spat.

"After he put it in danger, I would wager." I yelled.

She walked up to me and I thought she was about to slap me, so I stayed her hand. "I need to show you." She whispered. I released her hand and she laid it gently on my cheek to show me what had happened.

* **************CHAPTER END*****************


	11. A Strange Wind

CHAPTER NINE

A STRANGE WIND

Renesmee's gift allowed me to see the events as if I was looking through her eyes. Renesmee and Jacob had walked into town and stopped at the pub in St. Brigid's Well to eat. The little stone building was dimly lit inside, and there were small, low tables dispersed in front of a widespread bar counter with a wall of various alcohols and a beer tap with several different heads. The floors were stone, and the bar was a dark, rich wood that had probably seen at least two hundred years of spilled ale and idle conversation.

There was a low murmur of activity in the tiny pub. Most of the patrons were either focused on their meal, their drink, or the soccer game play on the one small television at the end of the bar.

I could not see any of the faces in the bar. Renesmee either had not committed them to memory, or she didn't feel that their detail was important to communicate.

After eating, they were leaving the pub when Jacob suggested "Let's go for a walk. We can go west toward the coast; watch the waves off the cliffs for a while." Renesmee nodded and they headed toward the coast. They were silent as they walked. Renesmee was deep in thought, but she noticed Jacob watching her intently as they walked.

As they approached the cliff, Renesmee noticed the expanse of the landscape. There was no one else in sight. They were standing several paces from the edge of the cliff when a gust of wind picked them both up and threw them through the air. Jacob had grabbed Renesmee mid-air and thrown her back away from the cliff's edge, launching himself closer to it.

When he landed, the ledge gave way under his feet and he went down. Renesmee, seeing that Jacob was going to fall over the side, slid to the edge on her stomach like a baseball player stealing home plate, digging her feet into the ground, and grabbed for Jacob. She managed to grab one arm as he fell. The jolt of catching him pulled her closer to the edge, her toes making deep drag marks in the earth as she strained to keep them both from sliding into the sea below.

"Renesmee, you have to let me go. If you don't, we will both fall!" Jacob yelled as he swung by one arm from Renesmee's grasp.

"No! Jacob I won't let you go!" She had him with both hands and her feet flexed to try to gain traction in the earth. Her feet were slipping. She was straining from the effort of holding his weight and keeping her feet flexed into the ground. Every attempt to grab the edge left Jacob with a handful of crumbling earth that took landing away from Renesmee. The jut of the cliff meant his first chance to grab the side would be halfway down, some three hundred feet or more.

"Nessie, you have to, please." Jacob said as he peeled Renesmee's fingers from his wrist.

Renesmee fought back, struggling against his attempts, and tried to lift Jacob up and couldn't from the position in which she was struggling to hang on. She screamed for help, but no one came. Renesmee's body was shaking with the strain of having every muscle flexed, and the ground beneath her crumbled underneath her trembling body.

"You cannot die, Jacob Black! Do you hear me! I demand that you live!" She screamed in protest as she strained to keep her grip on Jacob. She had to let go with one hand to grip the earth on the ledge near her hip since she too was slipping closer to the edge. She realized they were both going to fall. She looked to Jacob, and this realization registered on his face as well.

As she looked at Jacob's face, a look of calm came over him. He used his free hand to encircle the wrist of the hand she had wrapped around his wrist. Something happened in that moment and Renesmee realized she didn't want to let go. She never wanted to let go.

Jacob saw it and knew it would kill them both. "I love you, Renesmee." Jacob said as he pinched a tendon in Renesmee's wrist, forcing her to release him, and he slipped from Renesmee's grip and fell to the rocks below. He landed on the rocks with one foot, shattering his ankle, and popping his leg out of his hip socket. He then fell into the water when his ankle shattered beneath him.

Renesmee gasped and then she screamed. Even seeing it second hand as I was, it tore at me to hear such pain from my daughter. What I saw next made me absolutely sick. Watching these events play out, I had assumed that Renesmee had climbed down to where Jacob was and helped him up the cliff. The Cliffs of Moher are almost seven hundred feet high in some places. Climbing them would be arduous, but not impossible. It would have taken time to climb down and then back up. As I did the math, I realized that they hadn't been gone long enough for Renesmee to have made the round trip. Through the vision, I watched in horror as my daughter got a running start and then took a flying leap off the cliff after Jacob.

I gasped as I watched through her eyes while she sailed toward the ocean below. Sensing my alarm, Renesmee cut from that vision to when she found Jacob in the water and managed to keep them both afloat until they reached the rocks at the base of the cliffs. I got a sense from the vision that Renesmee had been in great pain. She was trying to hide it from me, but I could tell she had hurt herself jumping from the cliff. She seemed fine now, so she must have healed in the time it had taken her and Jacob to return to the cottage.

"Jacob, put your arms around my neck. Hold onto me." She said to Jacob.

"I'm too heavy, Nessie. You can't carry me up the cliff face." Jacob screamed through his pain.

Renesmee grabbed Jacob's face and forced him to look at her. "You will do as I say or we will both drown here. Now put your arms around me, do not phase, and stop complaining."

Much to my surprise, Jacob did exactly as he was told. Renesmee slowly and painfully worked her way up the cliff face with Jacob dangling on her back. It would have been comical if it weren't my daughter lugging a werewolf up the side of a cliff. They climbed the cliff face, eventually making it to the top. Jacob managed to pop his leg back into his hip socket. With Jacob leaning on Renesmee, they began the slow and painful stumble back to the cottage.

***************CHAPTER END*****************


	12. Run for Cover

CHAPTER TEN

RUN FOR COVER

"I knew I should not let the two of you go off together alone." I said. "That won't be happening again."

"I don't think we were alone on that cliff." Jacob mumbled as he regained consciousness.

"What do you mean? Was someone else there?" Bella asked.

"I think so." Jacob grunted as he sat up and tested his ankle gingerly on the floor.

"I didn't see anyone." said Renesmee.

"Neither did I" admitted Jacob. "But I know one thing; the wind does not act like that. I mean, come on now, what kind of breeze would blow us around like that? I didn't see any tornados around, so I think it was something else."

"I think it's time for us to leave. I don't know who or what attacked you, but I don't want to hang around and find out." I said as I packed our bags. I would have to call Alice and see if we could travel safely. A few seconds later I received a text on my cell from Alice: all clear to exit.

On the flight back from Ireland, I worked with Renesmee and Jacob to see if I could get them to remember anything further from the entire trip to glean some idea as to who or what could have attacked them and how they managed it.

"I still don't see why I can't show you again what happened." Renesmee argued.

"Because, Renesmee, when you're making the effort to show me something, you filter things out unintentionally. I just want you to think about it and I will look at it from your mind." I said.

Renesmee rolled her eyes and sighed. "Fine."

"Now, I want you to think back to when you and Jacob first left the cottage. I want you to show me everything you remember about the walk to the pub. Show me the scenery, show me the people, show me what they said, what they did. I need you to pull out all of the detail in your mind. There has got to be something that will tell us why you were attacked." I directed.

"Okay." Renesmee closed her eyes and in her mind I saw her go back to the moment where she and Jacob had left the cottage. They walked on the side of the road down to the pub. It was an empty expanse with no one in sight except a few passing cars until they reached the immediate area of the pub.

There had been no one outside when they approached. There had been two motorbikes, a sedan, and two pickup trucks parked outside the pub. I saw again Renesmee's first impression of the pub, but this time I saw the faces of the patrons. There were two men in leather jackets sitting together at the bar. They glanced at Jacob and Renesmee as they entered but quickly went back to their conversation, one of them stroking his beard, the other throwing back the last of his ale.

The bartender had dark red hair and gray eyes set in his pale face. He wasn't much taller than Renesmee, but he was bulky. He nodded as Jacob and Renesmee selected a table and sat.

The waitress came up to the table, and though I could see her shape, I could not make out her face. Her blonde hair was pulled back in a ponytail, but nothing more could I make out of her features. She handed them menus and asked "Somethin' to drink, loves?"

"Just water for me." Jacob answered.

"Me too." Renesmee said.

"Right then." said the waitress as she went off to get the waters. I could see Jacob and Renesmee talking, but she wasn't showing me what they were saying. I wanted to say something but realized that there was likely no probative value in their conversation and I just wanted to know because I was being a nosey father. I let it go and tried to focus on the surroundings that Renesmee could recall.

There was a mousy looking man, balding with glasses and a sweater vest, sitting in a corner eating a sandwich. He would periodically glance at Renesmee, and then look away.

There was a cook in a back room. I could hear them clanging around and swearing in the far reaches of Renesmee's memory.

"The waitress came back with water and took orders, returning to the kitchen and leaving Jacob and Renesmee to talk more. I was beginning to get frustrated with this scene. I could not hear the conversation between Jacob and Renesmee, and there was nothing happening in this pub. These patrons seemed fairly innocuous.

The waitress came back with food and Jacob and Renesmee devoured it in short order. When the waitress came back to pick up the plates, she managed to hit the fork on Renesmee's plate and it flung sauce onto Renesmee's shirt.

"Dear me! I'm so sorry!" said the waitress, trying to wipe off the sauce, but making a bigger mess.

"That's okay, I'll get it. Where is your restroom?" Renesmee said, looking around.

"In the corner to the left." the waitress said.

Renesmee went to the small restroom. It had one sink and two stalls. Using a paper towel and water from the sink, Renesmee tried to blot the stain. She finally gave up, figuring the shirt was now a lost cause, and collided with the waitress who was coming to check on her. They were nose to nose and yet Renesmee still wasn't showing me her face.

"Heavens!" the waitress exclaimed. "I'm sorry. I brought some soda water for the stain. Please, allow me." the waitress said, grabbing a paper towel and pouring some of the soda water on it and then reaching for Renesmee. Renesmee tried to object, but the woman wasn't having it.

"There, it's starting to come out now. Just give it a minute." the waitress said with a smile.

"Thank you."Renesmee said, taking the paper towel from the waitress and working on the stain.

"You two make a cute couple." the waitress said offhand.

"We are just friends." Renesmee corrected.

"Really." the waitress said more as a statement than a question. I didn't need to see her face to know she wasn't buying Renesmee's claim.

"You feel nothing more for him?" the waitress asked.

Renesmee paused and looked at the waitress. "I don't see how that's any of your business."

The waitress stepped back. "I meant nothin' by it. My apologies. I forget that outsiders are more guarded than the rest of us around here. I'll leave you now." she said as she turned to go.

There must have been something in the waitress's face that gave Renesmee pause because she reached out to the woman and said, "No, please, I'm sorry. Don't go."

"You two just seem to have a connection is all." the waitress quantified.

"Well, we've known each other my whole life." Renesmee chuckled. "But we are just friends."

"Someday that may change." the waitress offered.

"I don't think so." Renesmee said, shaking her head.

"If not him, then who? A beautiful lass such as yourself surely has an eye for a lad or two, eh?" the waitress chided.

"Well, there is one person, but he is also my friend and…it's complicated." Renesmee admitted.

"It always is, dearie. But you aren't getting any younger. Get out there and live! If you're not sweet on this one here, perhaps you should give a go with the other?" the waitress laughed.

"Perhaps." Renesmee said. "I should get back. My friend is probably wondering where I am,"

"Good luck to you, dearie. You're goin' to need it." the waitress said as she exited.

The rest of the memories were the same as Renesmee had shown me. She still cut out the part between where she leaped off the cliff and where she found Jacob. I didn't argue. I didn't need to see her in pain, and she was fine now, so I let it go.

We came up empty handed on all fronts with Jacob too. He couldn't show me the face of the waitress either. What I could see was limited by what they were able to draw up from their minds. If I had Aro's power, I could see every thought they've ever had and maybe find more clues, but especially in the case of Jacob, I'd likely end up seeing much more than I actually wanted to see.

Bella sat staring out the window, still holding her mother's urn. Her face was frozen in a blank expression. I hated to see her like this, but had no idea how to help. I sat next to her and she didn't move.

"Bella? When I was setting Jacob's leg, what you said to Renesmee, how did you know?" I asked, genuinely curious.

Bella sighed, still looking out the window. "I didn't know, really, but I saw how she looked at him. I saw that fear in her eyes, and I recognized it. It was the same fear I had when you went off to the Volturi to try to get yourself killed when you thought I had died. It is the fear of losing what you know you can't live without.

Jacob has always said that he could only feel for Renesmee on whatever level she felt for him. That's why when she was little, he acted like a parent, because that's how she viewed him. When she grew older, she saw him as more of a friend, and so that is what Jacob became.

But seeing them look at each other, it was obvious something had changed. I just didn't realize how much." Bella whispered, glancing at Jacob and Renesmee on the other end of the jet. Jacob was sitting leaned against the wall of the plane asleep, and Renesmee was next to him, leaning against his arm, their hands intertwined resting on Jacob's leg.

Bella was right, of course. Their body language was completely different now. I had spent years thinking I was seeing this, when in actuality, they had only ever been friends up until this point. I felt a twinge of guilt for having been so hard on Jacob, thinking his intentions were less than honorable all of this time out of sheer ignorance and an inability to see through my prejudice to what was right in front of me. Of course, what I had worried about all along was now here, and I wasn't sure how to process it.

Once we landed in Seattle, I had little time to deal with what happened in Ireland.

When we got back to Forks, Leah was waiting at the house to talk to Jacob about Dagny. We walked toward the front door of the main house, and before he could even set his luggage down, Leah came out of the front door with Esme and Carlisle right behind her, and she went up to Jacob.

"Jacob, I need you to release me so that I can explain things to Dagny." Leah said.

Jacob set down his luggage on the front porch and shook his head. "Leah, I just had one hell of a trip, okay? I've spent twenty-four of the last forty-eight hours on a plane, I almost died falling off a cliff, my phone is destroyed, I'm tired, I'm hungry, I'm not even in the damn front door yet, and I'm not having this conversation with you again." Jacob said with escalating frustration in his voice. He sighed, running his hand through his hair and said quietly, "It's not safe, Leah."

Esme stepped forward and said, "Jacob, I know it's not really my place, but, isn't there some way we could try? Leah has suffered a long time, and now she has a chance to be happy."

"No disrespect, Esme, but you're right; it's not your place." Jacob said. "We can't risk revealing our pack to an outsider. Best case scenario is he doesn't believe you and thinks you're crazy and he avoids you, which would hurt you a great deal. Worst case, he believes you and then we have all kinds of problems, which hurts us all."

"You're wrong. Why would I imprint on him if I can't be with him? I can't take much more of this, and I don't think he can either. He's losing his patience with my strange behavior. There is so much about myself that I can't tell him. He knows I'm hiding something. Please. I'm tired of hiding and lying. I just want to be happy. Why can't I have that? You have it! Sam has it! All I am asking is to be able to be honest with the person I have imprinted on." Leah begged.

"I'm sorry, Leah. My answer is no." Jacob said as he grabbed his luggage and stepped around her to go into the house. Esme tried to comfort Leah by patting her shoulder, but Leah shrugged her off and stared at where Jacob had walked into the house.

"I'm sorry, Leah." Esme said as she and Carlisle went back into the house. Renesmee helped Bella into the house and as I followed them I could hear Leah thinking about the confrontation.

Leah ran the conversation over and over in her head. How could Jacob say no? Why was she always the odd man out? Didn't he understand? He should. He had gone for years not telling Renesmee about their connection, and Leah knew that it ate at Jacob. He of all people should understand. Who could change his mind? Leah couldn't think of anyone.

As she turned and walked away into the trees, it occurred to her that maybe she didn't have to change Jacob's mind. Leah had an idea. It was a long shot, but she was out of other options. Seeing what she intended, I decided to follow her. If she was going to reveal the pack's secrets to Dagny, she would have to tell him about our family, or at the very least about vampires, which would eventually lead to my family.

"Renesmee, can you keep an eye on your mother? I'm going to try to talk to Leah." I said.

"Sure, Dad, just be careful. Leah isn't really fond of people caring." Renesmee said.

As I followed Leah I thought about what she intended to do. I would have to keep my distance, otherwise she would smell me, but I had learned to read the wolves from great distances over the years to prevent such a thing.

Leah found Sam chopping firewood on the edge of the reservation in the woods.

"I need to talk to you." Leah said to Sam.

"What is it?" Sam asked, not stopping his task.

"Dagny knows there is something not right with me, with all of us. I want to tell him, but Jacob won't let me. He says it's not safe." Leah said.

"Then that's his decision, Leah. I can't change his mind." Sam said, swinging the axe in a smooth motion to decimate another log.

"I'm not asking you to. I am asking you to change yours." Leah said.

Sam stopped and looked at Leah. "Change my mind? I'm not telling Dagny anything, Leah. If you came here to try to play me against Jacob, then you can leave." Sam said as he turned and cleaved another piece of wood.

"I'm not asking you to say anything to Dagny. If I renounced Jacob as my alpha and pledged myself to your pack, you could give me permission to tell Dagny." Leah reasoned.

Sam paused, axe cocked back and ready to swing, then turned to Leah. "You would betray your alpha like that?" Sam growled.

Leah had her eye on the axe, but she did not back down. "He betrayed me first, Sam. He has betrayed us all. He has manipulated the members of our packs for years to his own ends to protect the people he loves and when I ask for consideration so that I can be with Dagny, he dismisses me out of turn. At least you have a code you follow. You make decisions for the pack, the tribe, the town. Jacob does what he wants like a spoiled brat and we are just supposed to accept it because his blood puts him at the head of the line. You're damn right I'd renounce him and claim you." Leah said. "I'm tired of his games."

"You talk about Jacob being manipulative, Leah, but what are you doing here now? Why involve me?" Sam asked, lowering the axe. "I'll tell you why, because you hate being told what to do. You always have. You could renounce Jacob and tell Dagny anyway."

"And be a lone wolf?" Leah scoffed.

"Why not? You're crap at being part of a group anyway. That's how you ended up with Jacob in the first place. You don't know how to accept your place in the pack." Sam said, turning back to his chore.

"You know that's not true. I ended up with Jacob because Seth left the pack and went after Jacob after you basically forced him out by threatening to kill Bella when she was pregnant. I couldn't leave my little brother out on his own to get himself killed." Leah defended.

Without looking at her, Sam paused and said, "Now who's lying, Leah. That may be what you told yourself when you left, and it may be what you keep telling yourself, but we all know why you really left."

"Fine! You want me to say it? Fine! I left because of you. I left because I saw a chance to get away from the daily reminder that I lost you to Emily because of what we are. I saw a chance to get away from you and I took it. Is that what you want to hear?

It killed me when you up and left me for her. For the longest time I never knew why, and I thought all I wanted was an answer, but when I found out the reason, it was almost worse. Because you couldn't help it. You didn't want to leave me, but you had no choice. Do you have any idea how I have suffered all of these years? You think just because you could read my thoughts as part of the pack that you know, but you don't!" Leah screamed.

"I'm not going to apologize for it anymore, Leah." Sam said, still not looking at Leah.

"I'm not asking you to, Sam. I'm not. I finally get it." Leah said, stepping toward Sam and putting her hand on his shoulder. "If you ever really loved me, if any part of you still exists that remembers what we had, please help me. All I am asking for is mercy. Mercy that you couldn't grant me all of those years.

I have imprinted on someone and I just want to be with him without walls. Jacob has decided not to tell the person he imprinted on about their connection, and that's fine, for him. It's his choice. But he shouldn't be allowed to make that choice for me. All I want is happiness. Dammit, Sam, haven't I earned that?" Leah cried, angry tears slipping from her eyes.

Sam sighed and, finally meeting Leah's determined gaze, he admitted, "Yes, you have, Leah. But if you are going to be a part of this pack, then that's it. No more flip flopping. If you come back, it has to be to stay. Understand?"

"Yes." Leah sniffed, stepping back, wiping her eyes and straightening her posture. "Yes, I understand."

"Okay then. Let's do this." Sam said.

Leah closed her eyes and in her mind she renounced Jacob as her alpha and pledged herself to Sam.

She looked at Sam and he said, "Leah, I give you permission to tell Dagny about the pack, but you have to make sure that he will not be a threat to us. He and his actions are your responsibility."

"I am well aware of that, Sam." Leah said as she turned and trotted off. She stopped at the edge of the clearing and looked back. "Thank you, Sam."

Sam nodded. "You may not be thanking me once Jacob realizes what you've done."

Leah sighed and ran off to find Dagny. I followed at a distance as Leah came to the Forks police department and went inside. She found Dagny at his desk.

"Leah? What are you doing here?" Dagny asked.

"We need to talk." Leah said.

"Now? I'm kind of busy at the moment." Dagny said and then whispered, "I'm trying to find that wolf I was telling you about."

I caught a glimpse in Dagny's mind of him, hiking in the woods, and coming across a large wolf. Of course it had to be one of the pack members, because the dimensions in his memory were much too large for an average wolf. But how could that have happened? The pack was always so careful to avoid humans, and most of them hadn't phased very much in the last few years since there hadn't been a need.

"That's actually why I'm here. Will you come with me please? I need to show you something." Leah said. "I can show it to you."

"You know where it is?" Dagny asked. "Gerald, I'll be back. Call me if you need me."

"Sure thing." Gerald said, not looking up from a report he was writing.

"Where are we going?" Dagny asked as they exited the station.

"To the woods." Leah said as they got into Dagny's squad car and drove off to the woods. After they had walked deep into the woods, Dagny finally voiced the increasing irritation that had been building in his mind.

"Leah, what are we doing? I thought you said you could show me the wolf." Dagny snapped.

"I can, Dagny, just, please, bear with me, okay? This isn't easy." Leah pleaded.

Dagny shook his head. "I don't understand."

Leah took a deep breath. "Dagny, there is more to this world than you think. There is more to you, more to me. I know you are going to think I am insane, but I am the wolf you saw out here."

"What?" Dagny asked before he continued with a short, frustrated laugh, "Leah, you know what? I have tried to be patient with you. You never return my calls. You show up, unannounced, to my home, my work, but when I try to get to know you, you push me away. Charlie says you are an amazing woman, and I have tried to look past your quirks, but this has just gotten ridiculous."

"Turn around, please." Leah said.

"What?" Dagny said with a confused tilt of his head.

Without answering, Leah slipped one strap of her sundress off of her shoulder, and then the other, so that the only thing holding up her dress was her arms crossed in front of her.

Dagny turned around quickly and demanded, "Leah! What are you doing?"

What indeed. Surely Leah did not really intend to phase right in front of him. This was a terrible idea. Leah stepped out of her dress and handed it to Dagny over his shoulder. I guess she didn't want to shred it when she phased and then have nothing to wear after.

"Count to three and then turn around." I heard Leah say, since I had averted my eyes, and I could hear as she paced away from Dagny and then phased. I turned and saw Leah, in wolf form, standing just a few paces from Dagny.

"Leah, this is so beyond inappropriate. Seriously, take your dress back. Leah? Stop this, okay? Leah?" When Leah did not answer Dagny realized there was a difference in the sound of breathing near him. He had been so nervous at the thought of Leah standing naked behind him that Leah's phasing hadn't even registered to him.

Slowly Dagny turned around, anticipating an unclothed Leah, and jumped in shock at the large wolf standing in her place. He screamed and reached for his gun. As much as I didn't want to reveal that I had basically been stalking Leah for the better part of the day, I wanted her to die even less.

I ran out into the clearing as Dagny pulled the trigger and the bullet bounced off of my chest and ricocheted into a tree. I heard Leah whimper behind me.

"What? How?" Dagny stammered.

I walked toward him slowly. "Dagny, please, put your gun down." How I wished Jasper was there to calm him down. "Please. You don't want to shoot us."

Dagny looked at Leah, and then me, and then, with a trembling hand, he lowered his gun. I picked up Leah's dress and then walked it back to her and set it on the ground. She turned and sat on the ground. She then phased into human form and put her dress back on before standing to face Dagny again.

"I must be dreaming." Dagny whispered.

"If only that were the case." I said.

"Someone explain this to me." Dagny begged.

"Have you ever heard of shape shifters?" I asked.

"So let me see if I understand this: you are a shape shifter? And this is something you inherited because you are Quileute? I am Quileute too. Why can't I change into a wolf?" Dagny asked.

"Not all Quileutes can. You have to have the gene for it, and it has to be activated before a certain age, otherwise it stays dormant." Leah said.

"What activates it?" Dagny asked.

Leah looked at me. Though the treaty between the tribe and my family had been rendered null years ago, both sides still obeyed the rules, to a degree. One of the edicts of the treaty had been that no member of the tribe could reveal the nature of the Cullen family to a non-tribe member. Since Dagny had not yet been accepted into the tribe, technically Leah would not have been able to tell him about my family.

"That is a topic for another day." I said. "It is late and I should be getting home."

"I want to know." Dagny insisted.

"And you will, Dagny. You will. It is just a very long story, and we do not have time. Suffice it to say, you will know everything in the end." I said.

Dagny nodded, but did not seem satisfied with the answer. "Wait, I have one more question. How are you able to do that without a full moon?" Dagny asked.

Before Leah could answer, I said, "You are thinking of what is known as The Children of the Moon, or actual werewolves. They phase, or change form, in response to the cycles of the moon. In their changed form, they do not entirely resemble actual wolves: their forelegs are more powerful than their hind legs, and they still have usable hands with opposable thumbs. In addition, their stance is more upright, making their movement somewhat apelike, rather than entirely canine."

"You talk about them like they are real." Dagny laughed. Then he looked from me to Leah and then back to me and said, "Are they real?"

"You have a great deal still to learn, Dagny. But know this above all, you cannot tell anyone outside of the pack what you know. It could mean death to many people." I said, making my voice as stern and ominous as I could.

As Dagny was processing this, Jacob came crashing through the trees and stopped dead as his glance swept across the scene.

"What the hell is going on here, Leah? What have you done?" Jacob roared.

"Jacob, just wait." I began.

"Stay out of this, Edward!" Jacob snapped. "I specifically told you not to do this, Leah. And what? You abandon your pack and run to Sam to get your way? I thought you were better than that, Leah."

Dagny had stepped in front of Leah at Jacob's approach and he had his hand on his gun in the holster. He held up his hand at Jacob and was about to speak when Leah pushed her way around Dagny to face Jacob.

"Don't act like you wouldn't have done the same to be with Renesmee, Jacob. You're such a hypocrite!" Leah yelled. As Jacob stepped toward Leah, Sam came through the trees. He wasn't running but his walk left no question that he meant business.

"Step back, Jacob." Sam said, stepping in front of Leah and Dagny, staring Jacob in the eye.

"You've got a lot of nerve, Sam, after what you did." Jacob growled.

"After what I did? Are you kidding right now, Jacob? You tried to keep these two apart! You say it's for the safety of the packs, but I don't think that's totally true." Sam accused, taking a step closer to Jacob, putting his arm out to tell Leah and Dagny to stay back.

"Oh really? Please, Sam, enlighten me." Jacob spat taking a pace closer to Sam.

Sam seemed to be looking Jacob over, appraising him, before speaking, "You are trying to keep Leah alone because you are alone. Yes, you have your little vampire family, but Renesmee is totally in the dark about your connection to her. You have put up a wall and it keeps you from her. If you can't have yours, then you don't want anyone else to have theirs. That's also why you are so hard on Seth and Embry. They have no imprint. They are free and you feel trapped. Your need to control everything and make people miserable is why Quil left you. Anyone with an imprint has a hell of a time putting up with you, Jacob. You even make it hell for those who have no imprint. You want everyone to be as miserable as you are."

Jacob was genuinely shocked by Sam's assessment. I could hear Jacob thinking of how he treated his brothers. A part of him could see that Sam was partially right, but he fought that truth as he shouted "I am not miserable!"

"Let's all calm down here." Dagny said, stepping past Sam and facing Jacob.

"You need to stay back, Dagny." Sam said.

"Yeah, no one is talking to you, man." Jacob snarled.

"I get that, I do, but this obviously has something to do with me, so I'm going to say my piece." Dagny asserted. "I'm not going to tell anyone about this, Jacob. As insane as this all seems, on some level, it feels right to me, which I guess is even more insane. I have spent my whole life drifting, not knowing who I was, and not knowing anything about where I came from. Now I know. Now I really know.

I would never do anything to jeopardize that, or to hurt Leah, for that matter. I get that you are angry with her, and maybe what she did wasn't the best way to go about it. But she was in a bind and she did the best she could. Please Jacob, Charlie speaks so highly of you, about what a good man you are. I refuse to believe that he's wrong." Dagny said as he moved closer toward Jacob and held out his hand.

Jacob seemed to be at war with himself. He roared and ran his hands through his hair as he paced. He was upset over what Leah had done, but he was beginning to realize that he had pushed her to it. She could have handled it better, but so could he. Jacob took a deep breath and looked at Leah for some time before shaking Dagny's hand.

"I hope you're happy, Leah." Jacob said, and then followed it with "Really. You deserve to be happy. I'm sorry I was an ass."

"I'm used to it." Leah said with a hint of a smile.

"Yeah, well, now you get to deal with Sam, so have fun with that." Jacob smirked as he shook his head and turned to leave.

"I am sorry, Jacob." Leah whispered.

Jacob looked back and nodded, "That makes two of us." Not bothering to clarify the comment, Jacob turned and jogged away.

As much as I hated to admit it, dealing with Leah and Dagny had been a welcomed distraction from dealing with Bella. I felt like a failure of a husband based on that one feeling alone, but it was hard to watch Bella's stubbornness keep her from her father.

Despite the revelation that Charlie would someday leave her too, Bella kept refusing to see him. When I finally confronted her, she said, "I just need to get right in the head before I see him, Edward. I'm such a mess right now, and you know how he worries."

"I understand that, but you don't think your absence worries him more than seeing you distraught? Bella, your mother passed away. You are supposed to be distraught. He's expecting that." I reminded her.

"I know that, Edward, but he's probably also expecting me to cry, and you know that as a vampire, I can't do that. I don't want him to think…" Bella's voice drifted off before finishing her sentence. She didn't want her father to think she was a monster. Charlie knew we were different, but to reveal an incapacity for this most human display of emotion would be a major red flag for Charlie. Bella wanted to compose herself before seeing him that way her lack of tears would make more sense.

"Maybe you could see a therapist." Carlisle offered. "We have a new doctor that has opened a practice in town. She came highly recommended from hospitals in Los Angeles and New York. I have spoken with her and she was a very pleasant and kindly woman. Dr. Peruro is her name. I could call her and she if she has any availability for you."

"Is that safe?" Bella asked.

"As long as you don't say anything about what you are, I'm sure it would be fine." Carlisle said.

"Okay, I'll go, but only if you will come with me to the first meeting, Edward. You can read her mind and see if she is getting any weird vibes from me. I want help, but I don't trust myself right now." Bella said.

"Of course I will go with you, Bella." I agreed. Anything to get her moving onto a path of healing and away from this fugue in which she had been living.

Carlisle made the call and the doctor said she had an opening that morning, so Bella and I headed into town.

The doctor's office was located in a house on the main drag of the town in between two business buildings. It was one of the last remaining pieces of evidence that this had once been just a dirt road, and not a two lane highway winding through the Olympic Peninsula. The house was built in the early 1900's and the doctor had fixed up this decrepit shack to a vestige of its former glory, keeping with the design of the original architecture.

We knocked on the front door and the doctor answered and welcomed us in. She was Bella's height, but heavier set. Where Bella seemed lithe and delicate, this woman was solid. Her hair was wrapped into a large bun toward the back of her head. The color was hard to discern: not blond and not black, but some shade of brown that I could not quite pin down.

Her light skin showed the freckling of one who had seen many sunny days. On her round face was a smile with slightly crooked teeth that felt incredibly welcoming. Her eyes seemed to be blue or green with flecks of yellow. It was hard to tell because with the tilt of her head, she seemed to have a layer of the lightest purple as well. It must be a play of the light on her small spectacles with calico rims that she had perched at the end of her nose.

I couldn't quite place her age. It was possible that she was late thirties to early forties, but I couldn't be sure. Her clothes made her seem so much older. She wore a high neck shirt and an oversized knit sweater with a long, floral patterned cotton skirt. She wore the same shoes that nurses wear in hospitals.

What caught my attention most about the doctor was the silence in her mind. She must be a shield. That is the only thing that could explain the lack of inner monologue in her head. A human being with a shield strong enough to block me out was a rare thing. I had only ever come across two humans that could do it, and they were Bella and her father, to a degree.

But this woman's shield was more like Bella's than Charlie's. It was a fortress. Although, Bella's shield as of late had been more like a low security prison with day passes. More and more of her thoughts were becoming readable as her shield fell more often than not.

There was no way for me to signal to Bella that I could not read the doctor. We had established a distress signal if I heard the doctor beginning to formulate a thought process that would lead to untoward questions, but we had not prepared for the doctor to be a shield. I didn't want to frighten Bella, so I figured I would wait and see how things progressed.

"Please do come in. I am Dr. Peruro. You must be Bella and Edward Cullen? Have a seat wherever you'd like. Would either of you like anything to drink?" the doctor asked with a warm smile.

Bella and I looked at each other, then to her and shook our heads.

"Alright then. Just let me know if you need anything." she insisted as we sat on the white couch across from the blazing fireplace. The warmth felt good. It was very comforting.

"I spoke a little bit with Carlisle about you, Bella, and I'm glad to see that you are here too, Edward. Spousal support is wonderful. Will your presence be a regular thing?" she inquired.

"I don't know." I answered honestly. "Bella asked me to come with her, so I came. If she wants me here, I will always be here for her. If she would rather attend alone, that's fine too. Whatever she needs."

"Thank you." Bella said as she squeezed my hand.

"That is a great attitude to have, Edward." she said, smiling at me. For some reason I felt like her approval was a good thing. It felt nice. Before I could ponder that further, the doctor continued. "First we must set some ground rules. If either of you decide to have sessions with me alone, what is said in those sessions is confidential. I cannot tell your spouse unless I fear that you are a danger to yourself or others. And I will not play gatekeeper, relaying information to each of you for the other. Alone time is for work on you. If you wish to work on your development together as a couple, we can do that as well. You don't have to decide today, of course. Today we are just getting to know each other. Where would you like to start? What brings you to me today?"

Bella swallowed hard before beginning. "I'm sure Carlisle told you that my mother passed away recently. She died in a plane crash. I haven't taken it very well, to put it mildly. I thought I'd have more time with her, and then she was just gone. And I find myself looking back at my time with her and realizing how much I swept her aside to live my own life. I made decisions years ago that made it so that I couldn't be with her more, and now…" Bella choked and then continued "…I wonder if I did the right thing. Like if I had waited to start my life, I could have had more time with her."

What was she saying? Bella was expressing regret, but regret over what? She had to be turned at the time she was turned because if she hadn't been then she would have died. Giving birth to Renesmee took from her every ounce of mortality she had save one, and I took that last ounce from her to keep her with me for eternity. The only way she could have avoided that was if she hadn't had Renesmee. But she couldn't possibly regret our child, could she?

"It's normal to have those thoughts, Bella." the doctor said softly. "And it can be healthy to explore them, to a certain extent. But I think you will find that life is about making decisions, none of them easy, and you have to sacrifice some things to have others. What some won't tell you is that just because you choose one thing over the other, doesn't mean you can't mourn the unchosen choice. But like all mourning, it must eventually come to an end to move forward. It's okay to mourn the time you could have had with your mother. Just remember that the choice you made that took you down another path is the road you have to move forward on."

"I hadn't thought about it that way." Bella pondered.

"And you, Edward, how has Bella's mother's passing effected you?" the doctor asked.

I was caught off guard by the question. I hadn't realized I would be sharing during this session. "We don't have to talk about me; I'm just here for Bella."

"Of course I would never require you to share if you didn't want to do so, but let me just say that when a spouse loses a parent it brings stresses for the other spouse as well." Bella looked at me as the doctor continued. "I just want you to know that if you ever need to talk that this is a safe place for you as well. The best way to help someone you love is to take care of yourself too."

"I will remember that. Thank you." I said as I shifted in my seat.

"Now, what about your father, Bella." the doctor said, turning back to Bella.

"What about him?" Bella squeaked.

"How has your mother's passing effected your father? I know they were divorced for many years, but has he expressed anything to you about her?" the doctor asked.

"I haven't talked to him very much since my mom died. I want to see him, but I don't want him to see me like this. He worries a lot. And he's been busy too. Renesmee has tried to meet with him and he keeps brushing her off. So maybe he is hurting. Maybe he's been avoiding us because he's hurting too." Bella realized.

"I'm sorry, who is Renesmee?" the doctor asked.

Bella and I looked at each other before I answered. "She's our adopted daughter."

"Oh, I see. Another day, maybe?" she said as she continued. "That could be, Bella. Everyone grieves differently, but it seems you and your father might be on the same road." the doctor nodded. "You are never going to be totally okay, Bella. As a therapist I know I shouldn't say that, but I think you are smart enough to know that losing your mother will never go away. You just learn to live with it. But I think you should reach out to your father as soon as you can. You should try. You don't want to end up with similar feelings about the time you could have spent with him."

"But what if he doesn't want to see me?" Bella asked.

"Bella, you know your father better than I do. Maybe him saying he doesn't want to see you means he doesn't want to see you. Maybe it means he does want to see you but he doesn't want you to see him grieve because it makes him feel weak or he thinks it will upset you. Or maybe it really doesn't matter either way and you should just go to him and be with him. Only you can choose the right path for you, Bella." the doctor said.

"I guess in the back of my mind I just keep thinking if I don't face it then I can pretend it's not there. Eventually it will just go away." Bella mumbled.

"Well, you are partially right, Bella. You can ignore it. But it won't go away. Because eventually instead of avoiding going to your father's house to see him, you'll be avoiding going to his grave." the doctor said sternly.

Her words were like being slapped. I sat stunned at her statement, and Bella sat with eyes wide and mouth agape. Neither of us could speak.

"Forgive my bluntness, Bella, but you must know that I am in the medical profession, so I frequent medical facilities, and sometimes I see people in passing. I fear you may have less time than you think." the doctor said ominously.

Before either of us could reply, my cell phone rang. I had been so focused on Bella that I had forgotten to turn it off for the appointment. I looked at the caller ID. It was Carlisle, calling from the phone in his office at the hospital.

* **************CHAPTER END*****************


	13. The Longest Night

CHAPTER ELEVEN

THE LONGEST NIGHT

"Please excuse me, doctor. I need to take this." I said as I got up from the couch. "Carlisle, is everything okay?"

"Charlie was just brought in, and he doesn't look good." Carlisle said.

"We're on our way." I turned and Bella sat looking at me with an expression already raw and exhausted from loss. She had heard the conversation. "Doctor, I'm afraid we have to cut this short."

"Of course." she said, without asking why. "I will follow up with you later."

Without another word we headed to the hospital. I had a feeling I wouldn't get a lecture about speeding on this drive.

When we got to the hospital, we went to the emergency room, but they directed us to the patient rooms. We followed the hallways and went to the room where Charlie was. It occurred to me that I had no idea what waited for us on the other side of the door. It had to be fairly serious if they had Charlie in a room and not in a bed in the ER.

Or maybe that was Carlisle's doing, to give Charlie the privacy. There were no nurses or doctors nearby that were thinking about Charlie at the moment, but even if there were, I wasn't sure I wanted to know what awaited us beyond the door. For a few more moments, I wanted life to stay as it was.

Quite suddenly, Bella's shield was down and all manner of horrible possibilities ran through her head about Charlie at lightning speed until she forced herself to stop. She chastised herself for making a 'mountain out of a molehill', as she put it, right before her shield came up again, abruptly. One of the shortcomings of being turned as a teenager is having teenage emotional tendencies. We both suffer from it at times since I was turned at seventeen and she at eighteen.

Having recently lost her mother, Bella was even more prone to these types of reactions. She was having more instances of her shield dropping. She seemed increasingly out of sorts in her own existence.

Carlisle approached us in the hall outside the room. "Edward. Bella."

"What happened?" asked Bella.

"He was at home. Sue was out on the reservation and she said Charlie wasn't answering his phone so she went to check on him and found him lying on the kitchen floor unconscious." Carlisle reported.

"Oh my God! But why?" Bella asked, her hand over her mouth, waiting for Carlisle's answer.

"He asked me to let him explain it to you, Bella. Just brace yourself. It's pretty bad." Carlisle said frankly to Bella. He looked to me and said, "I have to do rounds now, but call me if you need me." As Carlisle walked away, Bella and I looked at each other, each bracing ourselves for what awaited inside.

We walked in and I took a sweeping glance of the room until my eyes fell upon a gut-wrenching sight. Laying eyes on Charlie was quite a shock. If there had been any air to knock out of my lungs, it would be gone. If I had a beating heart, it would have stopped in that moment.

How long had it been since we had seen Charlie? A few weeks? A month? I realized that it had been a little over two months since we had seen him last. That was fairly unheard of for Charlie. He loved spending time with Renesmee even if spending extended periods with me and Bella made him uncomfortable.

Most humans were uncomfortable around us. It is in their subconscious instinct to avoid us. We had been so busy dealing with the death of Bella's mother that we hadn't reached out to Charlie at all. The last time we saw him was at the birthday barbeque. And now, I could tell that Bella instantly regretted the lack of communication upon returning as she looked at what was left of her father.

He was emaciated. He had to have lost thirty to forty pounds, which is a great deal of weight for someone to lose in two months who wasn't very stout in the first place. His skin was an ashen gray, with deep, dark circles under his eyes. His skin had deep lines from where his mass had shrunk rapidly, leaving his skin no time to adapt.

As I got closer to him I noticed something else; he smelled wrong. Like a bologna sandwich left out in the sun on a scorching hot day, mixed with burnt rubber. Humans wouldn't be able to smell it, but as a vampire it was staggering. I had to force myself not to make and disgusted or appalled facial expressions as I got closer to him. Sue sat next to him, holding his hand. Her eyes were red from crying and her brow was pulled down in worry as she gently patted Charlie's hand.

"Dad. What happened to you?" whispered Bella. There was no other way to say it. Something was obviously very wrong. I tried to look into Charlie's mind, but I couldn't make out what I was seeing. Partially because Charlie was blocking me, but mostly because the images and thoughts were scattered and frantic as Charlie tried to decide how to answer Bella.

"I'm pretty sick, Bella. A few months back, I had been at the doctor up in Seattle and they told me I had cancer; stage 4 liver." Charlie said. I could see the scene play out in his mind. To Charlie, it was a brief flash of remembrance, but I saw the whole thing.

"Did you bring anyone with you today, Mr. Swan?" the doctor said, trying to mask her tension and concern with an air of formality.

"No. I did not. I didn't think it was necessary." Charlie said, trying not to sound irritated, but failing.

"I see. Mr. Swan, as you know we've run several tests and it looks like you have Stage 4 liver cancer. I'm afraid it is quite extensive. It has metastasized to all of your major organs."

Charlie stared, wide-eyed and croaked "Are you sure?"

"Quite sure, I'm afraid. I'm so sorry Mr. Swan."

"You're sorry? We don't have time for sorry! What are we going to do? Surgery? Chemo? Come on, doc, there's gotta be something we can do!"

"Surgery and chemotherapy cannot help this, Mr. Swan. The cancer is far too advanced. I can give you prescriptions to make you comfortable in the meantime, but all you can do now is wait, and say your goodbyes to your loved ones."

Choking back tears, Charlie whispered, "How…how long do I have?"

"Mr. Swan, timelines are very hard to estimate in these cases…"the doctor claimed.

"How long, dammit!"Charlie shouted.

"Truthfully, Mr. Swan, based on your test results and your scans, we have no idea how you are still alive, let alone functioning as well as you seem to be. It could be any day now, or not. We have no way of knowing." the doctor admitted.

"Any day now? Any day now?!" Charlie raged.

"Mr. Swan, I am so…" the doctor began before Charlie cut her off.

"Sorry…yeah I know." he said as he stood abruptly.

"Mr. Swan, wait. Please, you shouldn't be alone right now. Is there someone we can call for you?" the doctor coaxed.

"The only person you could call is my daughter, and you most definitely will not be calling her. Today is her birthday." Charlie said and then charged out of the office without saying another word.

No wonder he hadn't said anything back then. And it explained his behavior at the party too.

"Did you know about this?" Bella asked Sue.

"Bella, I'm so sorry…" Sue began.

"And you didn't say anything to me, Sue?" Bella demanded.

"Don't blame her, Bella. I made her promise not to tell you." Charlie said.

"You told her and you didn't tell me?" Bella hissed.

Charlie continued, "I was going to tell you, but then your mom… well… and you were hurting so bad I just couldn't… and then there never seemed to be a good time, so I figured I'd wait, but that probably wasn't the best idea, I guess…" his voice trailed off quietly.

By the look on Bella's face I could tell she was doing the math and realizing that Charlie had been diagnosed on the day of her party. Of course Charlie would have waited for Renee to leave. He didn't want to spoil Bella's time with her mom. And then Renee had died and everything had dragged on to where we were now. The rage in Bella's expression waned as she said, "It's okay Dad, I understand. I'm sorry, Sue." Bella apologized. "So what do we do now? Surgery? Chemo? There's gotta be something we can do?"

Charlie looked at Bella with a smile, and tears streaming down his face, as he remembered himself at the doctor's office saying the exact same thing. "Just like you're old man, aren't 'cha? Oh, Bells, I've been living the last couple of months on borrowed time, and it's looking like it's time to pay the tab."

Bella struggled to process this information. "What? No. No! This isn't happening. Carlisle! Carlisle!" she said in a strained voice.

Carlisle appeared in the doorway. "What is it, Bella?" he said looking at Charlie to see if something had happened, his eyes finally falling on Bella's tormented expression.

"Carlisle, we need to fix this. We need to help him." Bella demanded.

"Bella, I'm afraid there is nothing we can do. The cancer has almost completely overtaken Charlie's vital organs. I'm not even sure how he is still living." Carlisle stated.

"Never underestimate the power of pure stubbornness." Charlie wheezed.

"You know that's not what I mean, Carlisle." Bella said through her teeth. She stared at Carlisle as hard as she could in order to make him understand through sheer force of will what she was implying. The raise of his eyebrows told us he had received the intended message.

"Bella, perhaps we should talk about this outside…" I could hear Carlisle mentally trying to formulate a way to tell Bella he couldn't turn Charlie. He had to know that it would be futile to try to sway her.

"You can't go out there and talk about me like I'm already dead. If there's a plan, I want to hear it." said Charlie.

"Carlisle, we have to do something!" Bella pleaded.

"Bella, we can't…I can't…" Carlisle interrupted.

"Will someone tell me what the hell is going on here?!" Charlie croaked.

Bella turned to Charlie and the words tumbled out of her. "We can make you better the way I got better when I was sick, dad. You can be okay; more than okay."

"Bella." I whispered as I grabbed her arm to halt her words. Charlie glared at me, protective of his daughter even though she was more than capable of defending herself, and he was in no position to play hero. I wasn't sure if he was ready for the truth. I knew what Bella wanted without reading her mind. She wanted to tell Charlie everything. She wanted to save him. She wanted to make him one of us.

Would he even agree to being turned? He had known for some time that something significant happened to Bella to make her like the rest of the Cullen family, and that we were not 'normal'. Bella's thoughts were suddenly in my head again. He has to agree to this. I can't lose him too. I looked to Carlisle, silently begging him to step in with some sort of reason, anything to stop her.

"Bella, stop." cautioned Carlisle. "You'll tell him too much."

"What does it matter, Carlisle? Do you seriously think the Volturi are going to come all the way here from Italy to punish us for revealing our secret to a human that's likely to be dead any day now? He'd probably be dead before they could get here." Bella snapped.

"Bella, this isn't the way…" Sue interjected.

"Butt out, Sue!" Bella yelled.

"Hey! I am still sitting here, quite alive actually, and wondering what the hell you are going on about." Charlie said flatly, looking around at all the people who seemed to be in on some part of the conversation that was escaping him.

Shocking all of us, Bella turned to Charlie and took a wrecking ball to the flimsy veil of secrecy we had held over Charlie's eyes for years.

"I'm a vampire, dad. All the Cullens, we are vampires. We cannot die." Bella said, suddenly frozen by her own words.

Sue gasped at Bella's admission, unable to believe that Bella would out not only herself to Charlie, but our entire family. There was an unmoving silence in the room until I finally managed to find my voice.

"That's not technically completely accurate." I started to explain.

Bella seemed to shake free of her shock and said, "Okay, there are things that can kill us, but cancer isn't one of them. Dad, if you become like us, it will heal you. You won't have to worry about dying. Renesmee and I will never have to lose you." The desperation in Bella's voice was heartbreaking.

I have never been one to advocate this life for anyone, but in that moment, even I hoped Charlie would choose to be one of us, if only to spare Bella the pain of losing her last living human relative.

Charlie closed his eyes and put his head in his hands.

"You've told him too much, Bella." Carlisle sighed.

"She's not telling me anything I didn't already know, Carlisle." Charlie slowly lifted his head and said in a weary and resigned tone.

We all stared at him in stunned silence.

He continued, "When I was a kid, Bella, your Gran, my mother, told me all kinds of stories about the weird and magical things that supposedly lived in Forks. She told me stories of vampires and werewolves and witches. She even said she was a witch descended from a long line of witches.

Of course my dad always ignored it and then blamed it on her Alzheimer's toward the end. She had started telling those stories to you, and it scared your mother. Your mom refused to let your Gran tell you the stories. Gran would scream and say you had to hear them, and your mom finally had enough and told me to keep you away from her or she would keep you from visiting all together. Then Gran started telling the stories to everyone as if they were real."

He paused before continuing, thinking about poor Gran and how she had suffered ridicule for basically knowing the truth.

"I always knew there was something off about the Cullens, but you all seemed like good people so I tried not to judge. And when Bella and Edward became a thing, I did try to keep them apart because I was afraid of what might happen to her. And then it did happen. But you seemed so much happier, Bella, so I tried not to make a fuss about it. You weren't inclined to talk about it, and I wasn't going to push. But know this; I'm not as stupid and clueless as you think I am. Except for the Jacob wolf thing. That one got me." Charlie admitted.

"So you knew? This whole time?" Sue said with quiet astonishment.

"Not the whole time, but I've pieced it together somewhat between what Gran had told me and what I've noticed over the years and tried to ignore: never seeing any of you eat anything, how you all have the same eyes that seem to change into weird colors. I assume yours are the same way now, Bella, and you wear contacts for my benefit. And your skin in the sun…" Charlie's voice trailed off and he shivered, remembering.

"You've seen our skin in the sun?" Bella whispered.

"Before you left for Ireland I came to the house to see you, after you turned me down for a walk over the phone. I came and no one was home. I figured you were all out camping since it was sunny and everyone knows that's what the Cullens do when the sun is out. But then I heard voices in the trees, so I followed them. I had finally worked up the nerve to come and tell you I was sick, and I knew if I left I might never get the nerve again.

I came through some trees and in the distance I saw you all at the edge of the river. That's when you stepped into the sun and I saw your skin, Bella, like diamonds. Then Edward walked up next to you and his skin was the same. I didn't know how to process that, so I left and tried to convince myself I was losing my mind from the cancer. But deep down, I knew. As much as I didn't want to, I knew.

Like how I know Renesmee is your and Edward's daughter. And not because of adoption. I'm not even going to pretend to know how that crap happened, but you can't really think that the fact that she went from being a baby in diapers to a teenager in the last 7 years escaped my attention. I may not be a doctor, or even the best father, but even I know that's not normal."

"Dad, you are a good father, and I never thought you were stupid, and I'm sorry I couldn't just come out and tell you the truth. We were trying to protect you." Bella said, holding Charlie's hand.

"I know, Bells, it's okay. It's all kind of beside the point now anyway." Charlie mumbled. "You're not going to get in trouble with those Vowl-tooti people, are you?"

Bella couldn't help but laugh a little at her father's mistake. "It's Volturi, Dad, and no. I think we will be okay."

With renewed determination, Bella turned to Carlisle. "Carlisle, we have to discharge my dad and bring him to the house. We can't turn him here, it's too dangerous."

"Bella…" Carlisle shook his head, struggling to find the right words to make her understand why he could not complete this task for her.

"Carlisle you can't do this." said Sue.

"Carlisle, if you don't do it, I will." I could tell that Bella had made up her mind. If Carlisle wouldn't turn Charlie, Bella would attempt it. If there was any other vampire that could manage it, Bella would be it. Her self-control in this life was a superpower of its own.

However, with the loss of her mother her control of her power had been more erratic. If she failed for some reason, could she live with being the cause of her father's demise? From my experience, a well executed draining would be a much better way to go than cancer, but it wouldn't be my call on either edge of the sword in this case.

"No, you won't do it, Bella. And neither will Carlisle." said Charlie.

"What?" Bella whispered, "Dad…"

Charlie cut her off decisively. "Bella, I love you. I'm sorry that you just lost your mother, and now I'm headed out too. It breaks my heart, truly it does, but…I can't be like you." Seeing the look on Bella's face he continued in a more gentle tone. "I'm not passing judgment, Bells; I just know that I can't be…what you are. It's not who I am."

"So you'd rather die?! You'd rather die than be like me?" Bella demanded. I felt my need to protect Bella well up inside me. Hearing the hurt and frustration in her voice made me want to stand between her and the offending cause. Unfortunately, I could not do that. I could not protect her from this.

"I'd rather die than be turned into something I'm not meant to be. Bella, this has been a good thing for you. I can see that, and I am so happy for you, honest to goodness. But it's not for me. I can't let fear drive me to turn into someone else. If I did it, I'd be doing it for you and Renesmee, and that would mean my life is not my own anymore. I'd be pretending and I couldn't live with that. And if you can't live with yourself, well, forever is a long time to wallow in self-loathing."

Having been an immortal that had spent decades loathing his existence, I knew that Charlie's reasoning was all too accurate.

***************CHAPTER END*****************


	14. Drifting Away

CHAPTER TWELVE

DRIFTING AWAY

I followed behind Bella as she burst out of the double doors at the front of the hospital. She paused just outside the exit, running her hands through her hair and yanking it slightly before screaming. Two women heading into the hospital jumped and stared before hurrying into the entrance.

"Bella." I said as I put a hand on her shoulder. She shrugged me away and turned toward me, yelling, "How can he do this!"

"Bella, it is his decision. It is his life." I told her, trying to be soothing, but apparently failing as Bella stepped away from me when I tried to embrace her.

"Don't give me that politically correct crap, Edward. He is choosing to die. Who chooses that?" she questioned.

Her rage startled me. "Bella, perhaps we should discuss this somewhere else." I said looking around the hospital parking lot. There was no one around just then, but someone could drive up or walk out of the hospital at any moment, and this was definitely not the place to be having the conversation that was on the verge of exploding from my wife. She sighed at me in frustration as she stormed toward the car.

Charlie was checking himself out of the hospital against medical advice. Carlisle had offered to arrange in-home hospice for him, but Charlie vehemently refused. He said he had Sue and that was all he needed since Sue was a nurse. He refused the pain medication as well. He said it made him foggy and he didn't want to spend his last days not knowing what was going on.

As Bella and I drove toward Charlie's house, Bella looked at me and said, "Edward, I need you to do something for me."

"You know I would do anything for you, Bella. What do you need?" I asked.

Bella looked at me intently and said, "I need you to monitor Charlie's thoughts and tell me if he changes his mind about being turned, or at least might be more open to the idea."

I shouldn't have been surprised by the request. She wanted to save her father, and when you love someone, you will go to any lengths to save them. You might even do things other people would think ugly or wrong.

"Bella, I've told you before that your father is a shield like you." I said, hoping that would be enough to make her drop the idea. I should have known better.

"So you've said." Bella admitted. "But you've also said you've caught glimpses of his thoughts over the years as well. All I'm asking is for you to keep him on your radar and let me know if you hear anything."

"I will do what I can, Bella." I agreed, uncomfortable with the idea, but not wanting to upset her.

"That's all I ask." Bella replied.

We pulled into Charlie's empty driveway and I let my mind drift over all of the memories of this place. How many times had I sneaked into this house at night to be with Bella? More times than the fatherly side of me cared to admit.

Looking at Charlie's humble castle, over everything he had spent his life building, and sitting next to one of his greatest accomplishments, my wonderful wife, I realized that there was a whole other side of Charlie that I had never thought of before: the human side of him.

I had always seen him as a police officer and as Bella's father, but now I was seeing the side of him that had managed to escape my notice for so many years: the side of him that was an actual person. Someone who was born, and grew up, and had experiences that shaped them to be who they are. For the first time ever, I was seeing him as a whole person, a human being, a complete story. And it was a story that, I realized, I would be sad to see end, not just for Bella, but for myself as well.

I developed a deeper level of respect for Charlie as the days passed. In the face of death, when offered the unknown darkness of death or the life of a vampire, most choose to live on, even if it is as a specter of human existence. But Charlie did not. As time passed, I could hear more of his thoughts. It was as if the billowing shield in his mind, which had always blocked all but glimpses of his thoughts, was now rapidly becoming a ragged sheet of what it once was.

Devoured by sickness and exhaustion from pain, his shield weakened so that I could hear in his head the fear and sadness that plagued him as his final days drew to a close. But there was also resolve. He wanted to leave this earth on his own terms. He wanted to go out as the man he worked hard all of his life to become. I envied him that life, and in some ways even his death. His life had been short by most respects, but it had been full, and it would end as he chose.

After he had been home from the hospital for a few days, he woke up one morning and said, "Okay, enough moping around. We have things to do." We were finally getting down to the details of Charlie's passing.

"I contacted the station yesterday and let them know that I officially resign. A formality really since I've been sick for so long anyway. Dagny Bayak will be promoted to my position as the Chief of Police. He's a good man. He'll make a good Chief. I contacted a local attorney to get my affairs in order. I don't have much in the way of possessions. My cruiser belonged to the station, and I returned that last week. Everything else is in this house." Charlie paused. He seemed to be trying to catch his breath. Sue tried to hand him an inhaler, but he waved it away.

"Dad, we don't have to do this right now." Bella coaxed.

"Yes, we do, Bella. There is no more time. There is no 'later' anymore, Bells." He closed his eyes and took a breath, readying himself for the next sprint.

"I'm going to leave the house to you, Bella. My life insurance will pay off the balance of the mortgage, so you'll have it free and clear. You can do whatever you want with it. The same goes with everything here. I've given a few things to a few people, but the rest is yours. Same thing goes: you can keep it or you can give it away or whatever. It's up to you." Charlie wheezed.

Bella glanced at Sue. "But what about Sue? Where will she go?"

"I still have my house on the reservation. The people that had been renting it move out months ago, so I'll be returning there." Sue said.

"I don't know, Dad." Bella said, looking around the house.

"Bella, it's just stuff. It only has as much meaning as we attach to it." Charlie said. "Keep what matters to you, and let go of the rest." Bella nodded.

I think he meant it as a show of consideration for her feelings that he gave Bella the power to choose without his judgment of her choices, but it weighed heavily on Bella that Charlie appeared so resigned to dying that he no longer cared about the things he had worked so hard for his entire life.

"We should start now." Charlie said. "I don't want us all sitting around waiting for me to die. Let's get to it."

Bella looked at me, her face creased with concern. I put my hands on her shoulders and said, "Let's call for a moving truck. We will load it with what you don't want to keep so that it can be donated. We will keep the rest here in the house until we can find a place for it at home." She nodded and I called for the truck. While we waited for it to arrive, we began downstairs going through Charlie's belongings.

Charlie sat in his recliner, and Sue came back from the garage with flat boxes and a roll of packing tape. She and Charlie had been prepared for this. Sue and I taped the bottoms of boxes until we had about half a dozen to start with.

"We could start with the pictures." Sue offered. "We can take them out of the frames and put them in albums. It would save space. Unless you want to keep the frames, Bella?"

Bella shook her head as she sat on the floor next to Charlie's recliner and held his hand.

"Seth and Jacob and I can start bringing things down from upstairs, if you want." Renesmee offered. Bella nodded. I wasn't even sure if she had processed what Renesmee had said, but regardless, Renesmee went up the stairs with Jacob and Seth behind her.

Sue and I went through the first floor of the house taking down picture frames and removing the photos. It was quite a task since Charlie's walls were covered in frames and photos. They weren't just photos of his life, but photos of his family and so many more people going back decades. Some of them even farther.

We left Charlie's recliner and side table in the living room. Bella and I moved his bed into the living room as well once there was space since Charlie could no longer get up the stairs. We had bought Charlie a tablet a few Christmases back, and he said that was sufficient entertainment for him and Sue if they got bored, so we detached all of the cables from the television and prepared it and the entertainment center to be removed from the house.

Sue had called Sam and the pack members and they came just as the moving truck finally arrived, and we all began moving things out of the house itself. Bella examined everything that left the house. Most items she allowed to pass by and go into the truck. There was a steady stream of history bleeding from the house out to the moving truck.

"Hey, Bella?" Charlie said from his chair.

"Yes, Dad." Bella replied, walking over to his chair and kneeling next to him.

He looked at Bella's face carefully, studying every part as if it would somehow save his life. "Bella, would you show me your eyes?" he whispered.

Bella leaned back and asked, "What?"

"Your eyes, Bella. I know you are wearing contacts. I want to see your eyes." Charlie insisted.

Sam stood in the doorway and he looked from Bella to me, and said from his mind "Is that a good idea?"

I shrugged as Bella said, "Dad, you don't need to see that, okay. You don't have to do that to yourself." As Bella stood, Charlie grabbed her hand.

"Please, Bella. I've played your game for years now. I've pretended and turned a blind eye and now I think you owe me the truth. As much of it as I want." he wheezed.

Bella looked down at Charlie, and then at me. She reached in her pocket for her contacts case and held it out to me. I stepped forward and held it while Bella turned her back to Charlie and removed her contacts. She closed her eyes and turned slowly to face Charlie.

Even though he tried not to, Charlie tensed when Bella turned and opened her eyes. "Oh, honey." he said sadly. "You need to eat. Your eyes are black as coal."

Bella released a breath I did not realize she had been holding as she exhaled a short laugh. "That's it? No shrieks of horror?"

"Well, I was expecting some shade of yellow, but I should have known that you've been running yourself ragged rather than taking care of yourself." Charlie admonished. "All of you, actually. I've noticed all of you have dark eyes lately. It's not good for you."

I couldn't help but chuckle. When faced with the strangeness of the mythical come to life, Charlie was still a dad.

"How did you know?" Bella asked.

"About the eye thing? I asked Sue. She figured since you revealed yourself that it was okay for her to give me the basics." Charlie admitted.

"I guess I shouldn't be surprised at your family's ability to deal with the unusual." Sam chimed in from the door as he continued loading boxes with the others.

"You need to eat, Bella." Charlie said. "Edward, you shouldn't let her get like this. You either."

"Dad, stop. We will…eat…soon. We have to be in the right mindset to do it, and we just can't right now. But I will, I promise." Bella declared.

"Okay." Charlie said as he eyed Bella carefully. He wanted to argue, but was afraid any push back would lead to further more graphic explanation than he felt he could handle at that moment. He sighed and looked around the living room and its new emptiness.

"This place is starting to look a lot like it did when your mom and I first moved in so many years ago." Charlie said wistfully to Bella. "We were young and in love. Your mom was a couple months pregnant with you when we moved out of our tiny apartment and came to this tiny house. Your mom tried really hard to make this a good home for us, but she couldn't get over the situation."

"The situation?" said Bella.

"When your mom and I moved in here, Gran and Grandpa lived right down the street. We thought it would help Gran to have people nearby instead of being alone all day. But your mom had a hard time being pregnant and living in Forks. It rained a great deal the year she was pregnant with you, and between that and the pregnancy hormones, she was miserable.

"Postpartum depression wasn't something people around here really talked about, so when your mom started acting erratic, I thought she was just hating Forks and being married. Before I knew it, she had taken off with you, and the rest is history."

"Why didn't you go after her?" Bella asked quietly.

"I had to stay and take care of my parents. I tried to reason with her, but she just had to leave. What was I supposed to do? Leave my parents with no one to care for them? Abandon my job? The only home I've ever known? I told her that once my parents were…gone…we could talk about moving somewhere else, but that wasn't good enough. She wanted to leave right then.

Once both of my parents had passed, I was going to try to fix things, but your mother had already moved on to someone else before the ink on our divorce papers was even dry, and it hurt me so bad that I was so easy to replace.

I don't mean to speak ill of the dead, but the truth is your mom was in love with the idea of being in love. She thought it was always supposed to be hearts and flowers. She hated anything unpleasant. She would block out anything unhappy and when she was upset she would hold it in and pretend like it didn't exist. Like she didn't need anyone's help to deal with it.

But when you marry someone, it's for better or worse. And sometimes the worse can be pretty bad. You can't shut the other person out and expect things to live long like that." Charlie explained.

Bella's face contorted in sadness and anger as she hissed, "Well maybe she only wanted someone to put her first."

"Maybe." Charlie admitted, "But I think she just wasn't built for forever."

Bella's eyebrows rose in an expression of shock as if she'd been slapped. Charlie seemed confused by her reaction, but I knew all too well what had shocked Bella as her shield fell and I heard her replay Charlie's words in her head '…she just wasn't built for forever."

"He didn't mean it Bella." I said to her, trying to calm her.

"I did mean it." This silent admission from Charlie caught me off guard and I turned to glare at him in frustration before I realized that Charlie hadn't said the words out loud. Now Charlie was staring right at me with a blank expression. Had he seen me react to his unspoken admission? I wasn't sure he had actually made the connection until he cleared his throat and said in a flat tone, "Edward, can I talk to you? Privately." He then looked to Bella and said, "Sorry, Bells. Man stuff."

"Fine." Bella spat. "I guess I'll go outside and…be… outside." Bella said as she rose from the couch and exited the front door.

"Do you mind, Sue?" Charlie asked her.

"Of course not." she kissed Charlie tenderly on the top of his head. "Let's take a break." she said to the others as they went out the front door. Renesmee looked to me with worry in her eyes. Should I go after Mom?

I shook my head and gave her a small wave to indicate that she should wait outside. She looked like she might argue, but Jacob put his arm around her, and with Seth following, they headed outside.

When they had closed the front door behind them, I turned to Charlie and asked, "What is it, Charlie?"

He seemed to be thinking carefully about his next words, and I let him have the time to work it out. He decided on a non-vocal approach. "I know you can hear me."

I sat waiting for him to say something out loud, hoping he might doubt what he saw earlier and drop it, but I should have known better. Bella apparently got her stubbornness from both of her parents.

"Oh come on, Edward! Aren't we past this? I don't have time for you to play stupid with me." he sighed in frustration.

"Yes, Charlie, I can hear your thoughts." I admitted.

"Does Bella know you can do that?" Charlie asked.

"Yes, she does." I answered simply.

"Damn." he said, more to himself than to me. He thought briefly and then began, "Look, Edward, I need to ask a huge favor of you, man to…man, I guess. I know I'm not long for this world. And I meant what I said in the hospital about, you know, staying who I am."

I nodded, signaling that I understood and that he could continue.

"But as the days pass I find myself wondering what it would be like to live forever. Maybe it wouldn't be so bad, you know? But I know that's just fear and sadness talking. Death is scary. And the thought of hurting Bella and Renesmee like this when there is technically a way out is wearing me down."

"What is it that you are asking of me, Charlie?" I pressed.

"I'm sure Bella has asked you to spy on me to see if I might change my mind about my fate. I am begging you not to tell her. I don't know if I'm strong enough to resist her if she thinks she has a chance to change my mind, and while I'm still able, I want to make sure that she doesn't get that idea." Charlie finished.

"So what should I tell her?" I asked Charlie. I had no idea what I could say to keep Bella from trying to save her father.

"Tell her I love her, but I want to stay me. Tell her that when you look in my mind, you see peace. That I'm at ease with my choice and I'm okay. That's how I want to be, and that's what I want her to know. Can you do that for me, Edward? As one father to another?" he pleaded.

I found myself torn beyond words. I wanted to help Charlie. I could understand where he was coming from, wanting to protect Bella, and wanting to protect himself. As a father I could empathize, and also as a vampire. I know how convincing our kind can be when we really want to be. Bella would never want to take away her father's free will, but in a moment of desperation and grief, she might not be able to keep herself from charming Charlie and encouraging him to choose a path he might not normally take.

"Look, I know you don't want to lie to Bella. And I'm sorry to ask you to. How about this? If I change my mind and want to take her offer, then I will say so. I will say it. But if I don't ask for it, then I want to try to keep her from offering." Charlie reasoned.

"Okay, Charlie. I'll do it." I said and held out my hand to shake with him. He looked down at my hand, and then he stood shakily and embraced me instead. "Now I have to go find Bella." I said as I headed out to follow my irate wife. Before I could get far, my cell phone rang.

* **************CHAPTER END*****************


	15. Spiral

CHAPTER THIRTEEN

SPIRAL

As I exited the front door I saw the pack and Sue leaning against the truck. Renesmee, Jacob and Seth were close by, deep in conversation. Sue pointed to the direction that Bella had gone and they went back into the house to continue packing. Renesmee shook her head at whatever Jacob was saying and turned on her heel to go back in the house. Jacob looked frustrated but followed her. Seth looked to me, and then shook his head This never gets any easier. He thought before going inside too.

I checked the caller ID on my phone and saw it was Dr. Peruro calling. I definitely couldn't deal with her at that moment. I would have to call her back. I sent her to voicemail.

I walked into the trees behind Charlie's house and tried to formulate what I would say to Bella when I found her. I had to acknowledge that I didn't know how to help Bella. I was so far removed from having lost my own parents decades ago, and it was nothing like this. The closest I had been to the pain of losing a human and feeling anywhere near the pain radiating from Bella was the twenty-four hours I thought she was dead. But that was different. This loss for her, it was a loss of something that held her to her humanity, a luxury most of our kind had never been afforded in our new lives. Her parents were her last link to the 'normal' human world.

It is so hard for our kind to hang on to humanity. It is part of the reason my family had moved so frequently and started over in school after school for decades. We could easily shut ourselves away, only venturing out to hunt. Especially with the advent of the internet, there really was no need to leave the house. But we did it to be around humans. They reminded us of who we were. They reminded us of our resolve to not take human life to sustain our own. They reminded us that life is not forever for some, and that kept us sane.

Despite needing the reminders of humanity, our family and most vampires in general tend to avoid direct personal relationships with humans. We do this because they are so fragile, and eventually die, while we are left with our heightened senses to mourn their loss with our saddened hearts and unending memories. Most vampires only make that mistake once, if ever, choosing to avoid humans unless necessary. It's how we brace against the loss and pain.

But there was no way for Bella to brace against this impending loss, and it was tearing her apart. Since her transformation, she had been the more composed of the two of us…well, after she passed her newborn phase, but even that portion of her journey was not as bad as is for some who turn. She found a strength and familiarity in her change. She became enveloped in a certain confidence...an ease and grace that she never had in her human life. She was born to be one of us.

Now, she seemed to be unraveling. I saw the struggle in her eyes, unable to focus, always off somewhere else. I heard it in her words, stumbling and strained. I saw it in her movements, clumsy and unsure. I couldn't read her mind, of course; I never could, until she learned to drop her shield.

But more frequently than not, her shield was no longer a drawn curtain when I reached out to her with my mind. It was a wall, almost palpable in its resolve to keep me out, and then just as suddenly it would be down, and Bella's thoughts would be exposed. Based on her reactions, I realized that she was not intentionally lowering her shield. She was losing control of it.

It worried me, but it worried Bella even more. She knew that I could tell she was having trouble with all of this, but when I asked her about it, when I tried to help her in some way, she merely told me that she was fine and changed the subject. I had come to despise the word 'fine'. She used it incessantly when I tried to talk to her. But she was not fine.

She was coming apart.

Her self control had always been her strength in this new life. But it seemed that having this piece of her past, this last fully human connection, so close to breaking, was straining that self control to the brink. What would happen when death finally took from her that which she had relatively so little time to love?

I saw the same worry in the eyes of my family. Though we were all far removed from this kind of loss, we remembered. It is the curse of immortality to remember. But we knew the truth all too well. There is nothing one can say. There is no way to make this better. It would be what it would be.

Unfortunately all we could do was wait for the inevitable curtain to drop on the chapter of Bella's life to which she had struggled so desperately to cling. And now it looked like she might waste what precious time she had left being angry with her father.

I found Bella several yards into the woods behind the house. She was rocking from foot to foot with her arms crossed in front of her, her head down, deep in thought. At first I thought she didn't notice me there, but then she spoke.

"How could he say such awful things about my mom? She loved him and he turned his back on her and now that she's not here to defend herself he's going to blame it all on her and her hormones? That's crap!" Bella ranted.

"Bella, I'm sure he's not trying to be mean. You've only ever known your mother's side of things. I'm not saying one of them is more right than the other, but please try to see his side." I urged.

"Why? Why should I?" Bella demanded.

Her venom toward her father shocked me. Grief can be an ugly beast, showing its painful face with many masks: depression, addiction, or in Bella's case right then, anger. I knew from experience that being calm and level with her only agitated her more, for some reason. So I figured I would try Dr. Peruro's method and just lay it all at her feet.

"Because your own mother said the exact same thing about herself, Bella, so don't act like this is the first time you've ever heard it said about Renee. And, more so to the point, you should try to see his side because he's going to die, Bella. Soon. He's going to leave this Earth and you will never have these moments again.

But do you know what you will have? Forever. Forever to replay these moments over and over and wallow in how you wasted them being angry instead of being with your father. You are wasting precious time getting mad at him over things that happened in the past. Things he cannot change. Things that hurt him too." I admonished.

"Edward! Where is this coming from?" Bella questioned.

"Do you not know how much you mean to me? How it kills me to see you hurt and not be able to help? First your mother, and now your father, and though you are wound so tightly in this that you can't see very far into the future, I've had some practice with this, and I can. I can see it without Alice's power. I can see that if you spend your time being angry with him, you likely will not get a chance to make amends, and that will stay with you for eternity and will shade every day until you no longer exist. Neither of us wants that, Bella"

"He is my last living human relative." Bella said, her anger dissolving into despair.

"I know it's hard, Bella. Every one of us has lost our parents. You aren't alone. And you must remember that we still have Renesmee. She may not be purely human, but her heart beats. Your blood, the blood of your mother, your father, flows in her veins. You don't have to do this alone. Please, go be with your father. Even if it's hard. Even if it tears you apart. Go be with him while you can." I begged.

She nodded and rubbed at her eyes, even though there were no tears. "You're right. I know you're right. I'm just so scared."

"I know. And it's okay to be scared. We will get through it together." I said as I embraced her. We went back to the house and when Bella approached Charlie he started to apologize, but Bella interrupted him.

"No, Dad, I am sorry. I overreacted. I could make excuses, but they are all lame and pointless. It's hard for me to think anything negative about Mom because I always tried so hard to see the best in her. What happened between the two of you is in the past now. We can't change it." Bella said.

"Well, I meant no disrespect to your mother either. She was a passionate person and sometimes it made her do things that most people would never do. I suppose there are a lot of ways you could look at that. But I hope you know that I loved your mother very much. I had hoped we would have a dozen kids and grow old together here in this house, but it wasn't meant to be." He frowned.

"A dozen kids? In this house? There's one bathroom, Dad." Bella laughed.

He smiled, "Good point. Guess this place is a little small for a family." He said looking around. As he looked at Bella, his face folded into a grimace. He leaned over and grabbed his torso, tipping as if he'd fall. Bella and I were at his sides in an instant before Sue could get to him.

"Don't do that! It's freaking creepy!" he said through clenched teeth. Even though Charlie knew we were not human, he was not fond of unrequested reminders.

"Sorry, Dad. What's wrong?" Bella asked.

"Same thing, different day." He sighed as the pain subsided.

"Dad, we can stay here tonight if you need us." Bella offered.

"Don't be silly, Bella. I have Sue right here with me. I'm just going to sit here in my recliner and sleep. It hurts too much to lie down. Just go home and get some sleep. We will be fine." Charlie insisted.

"Dad, we don't sleep." Bella told him.

"At all?" he asked. She shook her head. He looked to me and asked "Is that true?" I nodded and he said, "Well, go find something else to do. I can't sleep with you two hovering over me."

"Okay. We will go outside. If you need anything just call out. We will hear you." Bella assured him. He shivered at the thought, but nodded and waved us away. We left the house, but stayed close by outside. That seemed to assuage Charlie enough to get him to sleep. Sue curled up on the bed which was pulled almost right up against his recliner so that she could be as close to him as possible.

As Bella and I sat in the tree outside of the window of what used to be her bedroom, I caressed her hair as she leaned into my embrace.

"Dr. Peruro called earlier, before I found you outside." I told her.

"What did she say?" Bella asked.

"I let it go to voicemail." I said as I dug my phone from my pants pocket and then navigated through the phone to listen to the voicemail.

"Hello, Edward, this is Dr. Peruro. I am calling to follow up on our appointment and to see how you and Bella are doing. I heard about Charlie. I am so sorry. If you or Bella need to talk, I am available. Please feel free to contact me at any time. My number here at the office is three six zero, five five five, two seven four three." Even though the doctor's voice was succinct, just hearing it made me feel better.

"We should call her. I'd like to see her again." Bella admitted.

"Together, or just you?" I asked, putting the phone back in my pocket.

"Both, actually. And truthfully, I'd like you to spend time with her too, if you're up for it. Like she said, this stuff is hard on spouses too, and I know I haven't been the best at supporting you at all, and I want you to have someone to talk to." Bella said in a rush.

I chuckled under my breath, "If it will make you happy, I will go. It couldn't hurt to get some perspective. Besides, I really like her."

"I do too!" Bella said excitedly. "It's weird, usually around humans I can tell that we make them uncomfortable, even if they don't know exactly what is making them feel awkward. But with Dr. Peruro I just feel at ease. She feels…I don't know…familiar somehow."

"I know exactly what you mean." I replied. And I did know. I felt the same way around the doctor.

The next morning I returned Dr. Peruro's phone call.

"Dr. Peruro's office, Dr. Peruro speaking." came the doctor's jovial voice.

"Doctor, this is Edward Cullen." I said.

"Edward! I'm so glad that you returned my call. I heard about Charlie. I am so very sorry. How is Bella holding up? How are you doing?" she said.

"I'm doing fine. Bella is…well, she's trying. She says she would like to see you privately and for a couple's session and she'd like me to have an individual session with you as well." I explained.

"I see. Well I can accommodate all of that but I have one question. You say that Bella would like you to have an individual session, but do you want it? And before you answer, what I mean is, do you want the session because you want to talk to me or do you want the session to appease Bella? It will save a lot of time and effort if I know your motivation." the doctor explained.

I thought long and hard about the question. I knew I was mainly going because Bella wanted it, but did I really want to go? I felt comfortable with the doctor, and while I couldn't tell her the whole truth, she had proven insightful despite it. "I do want to talk to you doctor. Not just for Bella, but for me too." As I spoke the words I realized I wanted it very much.

"Good! I have availability today if you'd like. Say around one? I'll block out one to four so that we have an hour for each session." she said as I heard her scribbling notes.

"That sounds fine. We will see you then." I confirmed.

Bella decided to stay at the house with Charlie, Sue, Renesmee, and Jacob while I took the first therapy appointment. Bella said she would follow after and then we would do our couple's appointment. She wanted to spend as much time as possible with Charlie.

I decided to walk instead of driving so that I could enjoy the cool, overcast day. I arrived at Dr. Peruro's office and she welcomed me into the warm living room.

"I'm glad to see you Edward. How are you today?"

"I'm doing alright, I suppose. All things considered. How are you, doctor?" I asked.

She seemed surprised that I would ask this but said, "I am well, thank you. Now, what would you like to talk about today?"

"I don't know that I had anything specific in mind, really. I guess I just wish I knew how to help Bella."

"When you say 'help Bella', what do you mean?" the doctor asked.

"I don't know. I guess I wish I knew a way to stop her pain." I said.

"I see." The doctor nodded. "How does it make you feel when she is hurting?"

"Helpless. Frustrated. Hurt." I said, throwing out the first words that came to mind.

"Good, very good. What else?" the doctor urged.

"Sad, I guess." I said, when the events in Ireland came to mind. "Incompetent." I said in a somber tone.

"Incompetent?" The doctor asked. "That's an interesting choice of word. Why would you feel incompetent? Where is it, exactly, you believe you lack competence in your relationship with Bella?"

"I can't make her happy." I said.

"In general or just right now?" The doctor clarified.

"Just right now." I said.

"So you can make her happy, just not right now? That doesn't make you incompetent, Edward. That just means that what she is going through right now is not something you can fix." the doctor said.

"I know, but I want to fix it." I sighed.

"Understandable. However, you must know that it is not your responsibility to fix Bella." Dr. Peruro said. "Edward, loving someone isn't about fixing them when they are broken. It is about being there for them so that they can fix themselves. You cannot make this better for Bella. All you can do is be there for her while she processes this." Dr. Peruro said with a kind smile.

"I don't agree." I said, shaking my head.

"So you believe it is your responsibility to fix Bella?" The doctor asked.

"Not necessarily to fix her, per se, but to fix what's hurting her. She's my wife. She is my responsibility." I clarified.

"She's not a plant, Edward. She is a person. I admire your devotion, however, you should realize that you do not have control of this situation." the doctor said.

"I am well aware of that." I muttered. I took a breath and continued, "I came into her life and swept her off of her feet. Her life would be much different if she had never met me. I feel a certain duty to help her navigate the rest of forever." I stopped abruptly, realizing I was forgetting to whom I was speaking, and talk of 'forever' and what that entails was not such a good idea.

The doctor seemed not to notice my word choice as she said, "She had a choice, Edward. Perhaps it hurts your ego to think she could have chosen a life other than the one she has with you, but it is true. She had that choice. And to act as if you took that from her puts a great burden on you that is, quite frankly, unnecessary." the doctor said.

"Perhaps." I conceded.

"To act as if it is your responsibility to control all the bad things that can happen in life to protect Bella in actuality does her a great disservice, Edward. Whether or not it comes from love does not matter. Be there for her, love her, help her when she reaches out, but do not deny her the journey of solving her own issues. You are her husband, not her puppeteer." the doctor said.

"I'm having a hard time coping." Bella said, taking a deep breath. I had been outside waiting for Bella to finish her appointment with the doctor so that we could have our couple's appointment. I had been going over my own appointment as Bella and the doctor had been talking, but something in Bella's tone now caught my attention. "I know Edward wants to help, but he has Carlisle and Esme, his adopted parents, and he lost his biological parents a really long time ago and it's not the same." Bella said.

"It's great that you can admit that you are having a hard time. Many people cannot get that far in the grieving process for quite some time. I do have to ask, though, does Edward's pain have to be the same?" Asked the doctor.

"What?" Bella replied with confusion.

"Does his pain have to be the same as yours for you to let him in? Is his pain somehow less relevant than yours because his loss is farther in the past?" the doctor questioned.

"Well, no, I guess not." Bella stammered.

"It is common for people suffering great loss to put themselves in a place mentally where they believe no one can relate to their pain. It is a form of subconscious punishment. Pushing people away to protect them, to protect yourself, pushing them away to make yourself more miserable because somewhere in your mind you feel that you deserve it for whatever reason. It is a dark thing, Bella. Edward loves you and he wants to be there for you. You may not be able to tell him how to accomplish it, and he might screw it up more times than he gets it right, but the fact that he keeps trying means that he loves you." the doctor finished.

"I know." Bella sighed.

"Tell me, Bella, how did you two meet?" The doctor asked.

"We met in high school." Bella said.

"I see, so high school sweethearts?" the doctor asked.

"I suppose so." Bella replied. "We met my junior year when I moved to Forks to live with my dad."

"And what was your relationship like back then?" the doctor asked.

"Um, well, it was normal, I guess." Bella sputtered. This still caught me off guard. I hadn't heard Bella struggle for words since she was human. She was doing it more and more lately. Like so many things, when I brought it up, she changed the subject.

"When were you married?" The doctor asked.

"A couple of months after graduation." Bella responded.

"After your college graduation?" the doctor asked.

"No, after high school." Bella clarified.

"That seems rather sudden." the doctor said.

"We knew what we wanted." Bella defended.

"Fair enough. You have a daughter now, adopted, but still, and she is the same age now as you were then. How would you feel if she decided to get married right now?"

Considering she would likely be marrying Jacob, that though infuriated me.

"She's old enough to make her own choices." Bella said stiffly.

"Bella, no one else is here. There is no need to be politically correct. How does it really make you feel?"

"I feel like she hasn't had enough time to get to know herself to be getting into a serious relationship that could alter the course of her life."

Bella's shield collapsed and I could see the swirling cacophony of her thoughts. She was looking back on our relationship from the beginning; every decision, every moment.

"Tell me, Bella, how would your life have been different without Edward?" the doctor pondered.

"I don't know. I can't even fathom such a thing." Bella whispered.

"I'm asking you to try, Bella." the doctor said. "How would high school have been different?"

Bella's shield came down and I saw her picturing the time I had left her in order to give her a chanc human life. She had been so miserable in my absence. I had never seen these moments in such detail before and they broke my heart. Her shield snapped back into place and the painful images were gone from my view. Bella shook her head and cleared her throat.

"Well, I suppose I would have just gone to school, and worked part-time, and then eventually graduated and gone on to college." Bella said.

"And what would you have done? For a career? What would your major have been?"

Bella pondered this carefully. She had never settled on anything when she was younger because nothing had caught her interest enough to the point where she thought she could spend her life doing it. Her plan had always been to just 'go to college' and figure it out then. But then she had met me, and her whole being had shifted.

"Honestly, doctor, I never had a plan until I met Edward." Bella said.

"I see. And now?" the doctor asked.

"What do you mean?" Bella asked.

"What is your plan now, Bella? You graduated how many years ago?"

"Seven." Bella whispered.

"Seven. And what have you done since then?" the doctor asked.

Bella didn't know how to answer this. Over the last seven years since we had faced the Volturi, we had been raising Renesmee. She certainly couldn't tell the doctor that.

"Edward's family is very comfortable financially; I have done some independent studies on my own in languages. I helped to set up the language recovery program for the Quileute Tribe in La Push. And Edward and I had been trying to have a child during those years. That's how we ended up adopting recently. We had to finally give up on having our own child." Bella finally responded.

"Interesting." said the doctor, "but do you understand why I am asking these questions?"

Bella shook her head.

"Bella, before you met Edward, you had no plan for your life. Then he comes along and you know him, for what, a year and a half? Then you marry him and spend the next seven years trying to have a baby with him before you adopt a seventeen year old? Can you see how this might be concerning to someone on the outside looking in?" Dr. Peruro asked.

Bella sighed, "Well when you say it like that, it sounds awful, but there is so much more to it than that." Bella defended.

"I don't doubt it." Dr. Peruro said. "Look, Bella, I know that you are lying to me. And as much as that is counterproductive to your time here, I fear there is something worse going on here. The only thing worse than lying to someone else, is lying to yourself."

"I don't know what you mean." Bella said, taken aback by the accusation.

"I think you do, Bella." the doctor insisted. "I've seen this many times with couples that marry very young. You commit to something before you know who you are, before you've had time to live, before you've grown enough to fully appreciate the concept of forever."

"You don't understand." Bella hissed.

"I understand much more than you think." the doctor shot back.

"I don't see how this is relevant to how I am coping with recent events." Bella said through gritted teeth.

"Then you aren't paying attention." the doctor said in a flat tone.

Bella's phone rang and she answered it without excusing herself. "Jacob, what's wrong?" Bella asked.

"Come to the hospital now." was all Jacob said.

Bella ended the call, stood up from the couch, and said, "I think we are done here, doctor." Then she stormed out the front door and ran to the hospital without looking back.

* **************CHAPTER END*****************


	16. The Final Hour

CHAPTER FOURTEEN

THE FINAL HOUR

"Has he changed his mind at all?" Bella pressed as she, Jacob, Renesmee, Carlisle and I stood outside of Charlie's hospital room.

I made a show of acting like I was trying to read Charlie's mind. "No, Bella, he hasn't. He truly is at peace with this, and he wants you to be too. I'm so sorry." I said, wrapping my arms around her and drawing her close to me.

"I will give you your privacy." Carlisle said. "If you need anything, I'll be in my office." Carlisle headed down the hall and after he disappeared around the corner we all stood silently unable to decide what to do.

Charlie's condition had deteriorated rapidly over the last few hours. It seemed that whatever had been holding back the dwindling grains of sand in his hour glass had finally collapsed and he was now slipping to the losing side of his tug of war with death.

"Where's my favorite granddaughter?" Charlie wheezed from inside his room.

Renesmee stepped forward and passed us to go into Charlie's room. As the rest of us filed in behind her, Sue got up from the chair next to Charlie's bedside and stepped back so that Renesmee could sit next to Charlie.

"I'm right here." Renesmee said. "And I'm your only granddaughter so it's kind of easy to be the favorite." She said with a wry smile, her eyes glistening with tears.

"Oh, hush. We'll have none of that sass now." Charlie teased as he tucked a strand of hair behind Renesmee's ear with his trembling hand. "Humor an old man, smarty pants."

Renesmee nodded and laughed, trying desperately not to cry, but failing. "I love you, Grandpa. And I will miss you so much."

"I know, little one, I know." said Charlie as he opened his arms and Renesmee leaned into his embrace. "I'm glad I got to know you at least a little. I wish I could be around to see you grow up more and get married and stuff." Charlie paused, trying to breathe deeply to calm the tears in his eyes, but instead fell into a fit of coughing.

We all leaned in, as if we could help, and Charlie shook his head, clearing his throat. Seeing the concern on Renesmee's face, Charlie tried to change the subject. "Hey, do your Grandpa a favor, okay? Take it easy on your mom and dad. I know they can be a pain some times, but never doubt that they love you and they only want what's best for you."

"I know. I'll try." Renesmee said, patting Charlie's frail hand.

"One more thing, and this is important; always remember to take time to figure out how you feel about something. This may not make sense now, but believe me. Things can always change. Some day your view may change, when you get older. So when you have important decisions to make, remember that nothing is set in stone."

"I will, Grandpa." she said, nodding and wiping her cheeks.

"Now you go on, I've got to talk to these other kids here."

Renesmee nodded and hugged Charlie. "Goodbye, Grandpa. I love you."

"Goodbye, little one. I love you too. To the moon and back." Charlie croaked through his tears.

Renesmee turned away from Charlie and embraced Jacob before she left the room and headed for Carlisle's office.

"Sue," Charlie whispered. She sat in the chair next to his bed and held his hand. "I want to thank you for the last few years. You are the best woman a man could ever hope for. You've been my best friend for a while now. Thank you, for always being there. I'm sorry I couldn't do more for you. You deserve so much better than this." Charlie's armor cracked and he wept with guilt and sadness.

He loved Sue so much, but he had never told her. In his heart of hearts, even after everything that happened between them, he still loved Renee, and because of that he had always held himself at a distance from Sue. They never married, even though Sue lived with him so often that she had been renting out her house on the reservation for years. And now, at the end, he was filled with regret for never having faced his fear and for not doing right by Sue.

"Don't, Charlie, it's okay." Sue said as she wiped his tears. "You have made me so happy. More happy than I thought I could ever be again after Harry passed away. I thought I would never be okay again. You pulled me out of that. You gave me a reason to keep going. You have been my best friend too. I love you, Charlie Swan."

"I love you too, Sue." Charlie managed to say through sobs. Sue wept even harder at his admission, and they held each other for a time until Charlie said, "That's why I have to ask one last favor of you. I need you to let me go. I don't want you to see what comes next."

"Charlie…" Sue said, shaking her head.

"Sue, please." Charlie begged. "You have walked with me farther than you needed to, and for that I will never be able to repay you, and I am sorry. But you don't need to do this. This end is mine. It doesn't have to be yours. Please, let me go."

Sue's sobs shook her body. She hugged Charlie, and he wrapped his arms around her and he too cried so hard I thought he might break. Jacob was standing next to me and he turned his back to the scene. He was struggling to hold back the tears in his eyes, but failing miserably as they poured forth and his breath hitched in his chest. I put my hand on his shoulder and he covered it with his, squeezing my hand as if it were the only thing keeping him steady in that moment.

Sue kissed Charlie, caressed his face, then turned and walked briskly from the room, crying so hard that I thought she might run into something.

"You're next, Jacob." Charlie said, trying to compose himself.

Jacob wiped his face and turned to Charlie. "Yes, sir." Jacob said in a low voice.

"Jacob, you have turned into an amazing young man. Renesmee is lucky to have you. I want you to know that if she ever decides that she wants you as more than a friend, you'd have my vote, son. Don't mind Edward. He'll come around. Fathers always want to protect their daughters, but ultimately they want them to be happy. He's had a lot of practice disliking you, so give it time. He's a good man and if Renesmee wants you, I'm sure he'll ease up. Take care of my girls, Jacob." Charlie managed before a sob escaped him.

"Yes sir. Will do." Jacob whispered. He then leaned down and hugged Charlie.

"Go be with Renesmee. This won't take much longer and she's gonna miss the last part." Charlie said, wiping his eyes.

Jacob nodded, understanding these would be the last words he would ever hear from Charlie. He turned and hugged Bella and nodded at me before heading for Carlisle's office as well.

"Edward, I know we've had our moments over the years, but I want to thank you for helping my daughter find her place in this world." he said, shaking my hand. And then his voice was in my head.

"Thank you for keeping your word. I know things have been rough, but they're about to get worse. Some unsolicited advice here; don't make the same mistakes I made. I chose my family over my wife and I lost her. Some could argue that it all worked out, but there's not a day that has gone by that I haven't wished that I fought harder.

You brought Bella to immortality. Now it's your responsibility to walk with her into forever."

"I'm glad Bella has you." Charlie said.

I nodded as I stepped aside and Bella came forward.

"My baby girl." Charlie whispered. He held his arms open and Bella crawled into the bed and curled up next to him. "You've been so brave. You don't have to be. It's okay to cry." Charlie offered.

Bella said nothing. What could she say? She couldn't tell her father that she couldn't cry. Not because the pain wasn't there, but because she was no longer human, and the luxury of crying was no longer afforded to her. When she didn't answer, Charlie continued, "I don't know what to say. I'm so sorry, Bells. Let Edward help you, okay." Charlie's voice cracked. The tears were streaming down his face, and he squeezed Bella as hard as he could. "Don't do this alone. Promise me, Bella."

"I promise." Bella managed in a small, broken voice.

Charlie drew a ragged breath and said, "I hope someday you can forgive me for my choices, Bella."

"I will forgive you if you will forgive me." Bella said.

"You always have my forgiveness, Bells. But forgiveness for what?" Charlie asked.

"It was wrong for me to make you feel bad about… your final decision. I will miss you, but I would never want to take anything from you. You have given me so much, and I am grateful. I love you, Dad. It's okay to rest now. I'll be fine." Bella whispered.

Charlie held her tighter still and cried until exhaustion put him to sleep. Bella laid her head on his chest, listening to his heart beat. We stayed like that until Charlie's heart beat slowed, stuttered, and then stopped.

Charlie was gone.

***************CHAPTER END*****************


	17. Breathless

CHAPTER FIFTEEN

BREATHLESS

When we went to make arrangements for Charlie's funeral, we found it had already been done. We should have expected it considering how determined he had been to make his exit from this world as little of a burden as possible for everyone. Charlie had wanted to be buried in Forks, and he had made arrangements for his casket and burial at the Forks Cemetery. According to Bella he had never been a very religious man, despite identifying as Lutheran, so his ceremony was to be held out on the lawn of the cemetery next to his grave.

We had to hold the service within a certain number of days of having Charlie's remains sent to the funeral home, and in an unprecedented event in the town of Forks, Alice saw nothing but sun in the days to come.

"Alice, are you sure? When was the last time Forks had more than six days in a row without a cloud in the sky?" I asked her.

"I cannot recall one, to be honest." Alice admitted.

"So what do we do?" Bella asked. "We have to bury him."

"We could buy more time for the weather to turn if we had him cremated." Alice offered.

"No. We can't do that. My dad didn't want to be cremated." Bella said.

"I understand, Bella, but…" Esme began before Bella cut her off.

"Charlie despised the idea of being 'charbroiled', as he so eloquently described it." Bella said, wrinkling her nose at the thought.

"Perhaps we could ask about a night service at the cemetery." Jasper offered.

"Good idea. I'll call." Carlisle said, stepping away to call the cemetery caretakers.

"Maybe we could just cover ourselves completely, you know, gloves, hats, umbrellas." Rosalie offered.

"It's so risky, though. Even if we were totally covered, if the sun reflected off of something and onto our skin, we'd be done for." Jasper said.

"What else can we do? This was the same problem we had last time…" Emmett paused as he realized that bringing up the difficulty of retrieving Renee's remains was probably not the best idea at the moment.

Carlisle returned with a grim expression. "I'm sorry, Bella. The caretaker says there are strict rules against people being in the cemetery after dark, for insurance purposes, they claimed."

"So I guess it's Rosalie's idea, then." Bella sighed. We all scrambled for ways to deal with exposure to the sun. We decided on clothing that fully covered us, gloves and high necklines for everyone, veils for the women, and large umbrellas for the rest of us. There were no trees where Charlie was being buried, so it wouldn't seem out of place for our fair skinned family to use umbrellas to protect against the sun during the ceremony. Hopefully it would be enough.

The day of Charlie's funeral the wind was blowing fiercely, but the weather was bright and warm, just like the two days before it. Unnatural for this time of year, but not wholly unheard of either.

For so many years, days like this were a prison to my family. They meant that we had to stay cooped up away from the mortal world so as not to reveal our secret. When Renesmee had come along, and we had all stopped moving from place to place to attend school, we discovered the joy of sunny days in Renesmee's jubilant enjoyment of them. We still had to hide ourselves from the people of the town, but now we had a reason to venture outside and into the light.

This was the first day since Renesmee had come into our lives that we felt the old invisible prison bars of the sun's rays. It only served to intensify the sadness of the day.

Bella stood in the kitchen looking out the window at the glaring evidence of the traitorous star shining down, reflecting off of the dew on the grass and the trees.

"The limo is coming soon." Alice said. Esme had insisted that we hire one so that we could all travel together since none of our vehicles could hold us all even with Renesmee and Jacob having left earlier to pick up Billy Black from the reservation.

We all donned our jackets, gloves, and hats, making sure to bring the large umbrellas. Glancing outside, I wasn't sure how helpful the umbrellas would be. The wind was blowing so hard that it looked as if it would bend the umbrellas wrong side out.

The limousine pulled up in front of the house and the driver stepped out and went to the back to open the door for us. We stepped out onto the front porch, umbrellas barely protecting us from the light pouring down from the sky in the gale-force winds. Carlisle and Esme were walking ahead of Bella and me, so when the shadow of their umbrella faded on the ground; it caught my eye and made me look up. In the sky, a bank of clouds was rolling in with the fierce winds that were struggling to tear the umbrellas out of our hands.

We all paused and looked to the sky in amazement. The driver looked up as well, trying to discern what held our interest. At first the sky was covered in a thin layer of cloud which quickly gave way to darker coverage that looked as if to pour down on us.

Bella looked up at the sky with her now brown eyes. She had on her contacts since we would be out and about in the town, and everyone knew her to have brown eyes. She smiled as she whispered, "Thanks, Dad."

I wasn't sure how much I believed Charlie to be responsible for the turn of events in the weather, but I was glad it happened. We closed our umbrellas, but brought them along just in case. As the family began carefully loading into the limousine, Alice stood staring at the sky and chewing her lip. She seemed to be the only one bothered by the fortuitous weather conditions. She had been wrong about visions in the past, and I had never known it to bother her, necessarily.

"Alice, what's wrong? This is good. Now we don't have to hide, right?" I pressed, searching to see if I was missing something.

"You don't understand, Edward, I was wrong about the weather." Alice whispered.

"So? Your visions have changed before, Alice. The future can always change." I said in a low voice as Alice glanced around and then pulled me off to the side.

"My visions tend to change if people change their minds and their courses change. But since the weather cannot change its mind, my visions about it shouldn't change; especially not in merely a few days' time. Edward, I think something else is going on." Alice said

"Like what? What could possibly change the weather, Alice?" I asked.

"Very few things, honestly, but all of them are pretty awful." Alice admitted.

"Well, unless you see something apocalyptic happening in the next few hours, it is something we will have to address later. Right now we just need to help Bella get through this day." I said.

"I've tried to see it, but all I see is the same exact vision I saw before we found out Renee's plane had crashed." Alice said.

Even if I weren't a vampire with perfect memory, that vision would have been burned in my mind. The first part of the vision had been a man in a uniform, drinking at a bar. There was some sort of overhead announcement. The man threw back the last of his drink, pulled cash out of his wallet and walked away. It turned out that the pilot of Renee's flight had a severe drinking problem. He had disengaged the autopilot in order to fly the plane on his own for no other reason than it seemed like a good idea to his alcohol soaked brain, and he had ended up causing the plane to go into a tailspin.

The next pieces of the vision had made no sense. They were fractured and incomplete. There was no telling what they meant. But if Alice was still seeing the vision exactly as it had been, that meant that the events were still on track to occur.

Bella stood by the door to the limousine, waiting for Alice and me to join the family. We loaded the vehicle and headed to Charlie's final resting place.

As we drove down Calawah Way to the cemetery, we noticed cars parked along the side of the road. This was not particularly unusual, but as we got closer to the cemetery, the vehicles went from dotting the side of the road to being parked end to end with people walking in mass groups on the street all headed in the same direction.

"Is there something going on at the park today?" I asked to no one in particular. There were shrugs all around the car. Where were all of these people going?

When we arrived at the cemetery, we had the answer. We were greeted by an amazing sight. An announcement about Charlie's service had gone out in the local newspaper, the Forks Forum, so that anyone that wanted to do so could come and pay their respects. I don't think any of us was prepared for what we came upon as we rounded the corner and drove up to the gate of the cemetery.

There was a sea of people standing at Charlie's grave. I had never seen so many townspeople gathered in one place. They were trying desperately not to stand on graves and find a place on the field. Many more had given up and were standing outside of the gates along the road.

It looked like the whole Forks police force was here, including officers from surrounding jurisdictions, and the mayor. Even Mr. Leppell was here. He ran the little gift shop across from the high school where Charlie would buy flowers and trinkets for Bella and Renesmee.

Jacob and Renesmee were standing with Sue and what looked like most of the Quileute tribe. They had come separately so that they could pick up Billy and bring him here. Jacob would have had to carry him across all of this grass since Billy was fairly heavyset and his wheelchair never would have made it this far from the road in the soft grassy earth.

Billy's dark russet face was ragged with sorrow and regret. He had let his jealousy over Sue keep him from his friend for years. In the end he had gone to Charlie and apologized, but by then it was really too late. He did get to say he was sorry, and Charlie forgave him, but Charlie had died the next day. Billy now carried the load of wishing he had chosen another path. From the looks of him, it was a heavy burden.

As we sat in the limousine, surveying the scene, we took in the magnitude of the gathering, in awe at Charlie's influence on the town. But the awe was short lived when we all simultaneously realized what we would now be entering. We looked at each other, wondering if we should be here. It was one thing to go to school or the hospital and have passing acquaintance with humans. It was quite another to have almost the entire town here focused on our family for an extended period of time, up close and personal.

"They are here for Charlie. They won't be paying attention to us." said Carlisle. We all hoped he was right as we stepped out of the limousine.

We walked through the middle of the crowd as it parted before us up to the front where the minister stood at a podium behind the grave and the casket. The pastor nodded to us and then began as we took our seats in the front row of chairs that had been provided by the cemetery. There were only about twenty chairs available. Most people were standing.

"We are gathered here today to say our farewells to Charlie Swan: a protector of this community, a loyal friend, and a beloved father and grandfather. Charlie left the following to be read at this ceremony." the pastor said as he took from his pocket an envelope that had Charlie's writing on the outside. He pulled out a single sheet of paper, typewritten, and signed by Charlie. The pastor read from the note.

'To anyone who has taken the time to be here today to say goodbye, I thank you for being here. I found this poem on the internet. I don't know who wrote it but it seems fitting, so here goes:

When I come to the end of the road

And the sun has set for me

I want no rites in a gloom-filled room.

Why cry for a soul set free?

Miss me a little-but not too long

And not with your head bowed low.

Remember the love that we once shared

Miss me-but let me go.

For this is a journey that we all must take

And each must go alone.

It's all a part of the Master's plan

A step on the road to home.

When you are lonely and sick of heart

Go to the friends we know

And bury your sorrows in doing good deeds.

Miss me, but let me go.'

"If anyone wishes to come up and say a few words, you may do so now." said the pastor.

Dagny Bayak stepped forward and took a crumpled paper from his pocket. He cleared his throat and began. "I only knew Charlie for a short time. But in that time I learned a few things from him. I learned that you never make coffee in the left side of the industrial coffeemaker at the station because it tastes like tar." he chuckled with an awkward pause. It had sounded funnier when he had practiced it in the squad car. He had hoped it would help to lighten the mood, but it seemed the town wasn't up for it. He was beginning to doubt if he should continue.

I could sense Jasper using his powers to help Dagny relax, and he began again. "I learned that Charlie loved this town. He was born here, grew up here, and although it happened sooner than he wanted, he always intended to end his days here.

But there was something Charlie couldn't teach me, and it was because it was something I don't think he really knew. He couldn't teach me how much this town loves him. As I stand here looking out at all of you here to pay your respects, I am in awe. The measure of a man is not how tall he stands around others, but how tall others stand for him when he is no longer there. I think Charlie would really appreciate all of you here today.

I don't think I will never be the man that Charlie Swan was to all of you. But I do hope that I can make him proud. Thank you, Charlie." Dagny took his place back among the crowd.

Carlisle stood and addressed the gathering. "When my family and I came to town years ago, Charlie Swan was one of the first people to welcome us. He looked out for us. He looked out for all of us. If you ever needed help, Charlie was there. We could always count on him. Dear friend, you will be missed." Carlisle stepped aside as Sam Uley found his feet and came forward to face the crowd.

"I've known Charlie all of my life. And even though he was not a part of the Quileute tribe, he has always been a part of our family. He was a good man, a good friend, and a loyal family member. He did his best to accept us all for who we are, which is rare thing. Farewell and rest in peace, old friend." Sam said.

I looked at Bella and she shook her head. I didn't need to read her mind to know that she wasn't ready to get up and speak. I took a deep breath, more for show than anything, but it did help to steady me as I stood at the podium and began. "Charlie was not pleased when Bella and I became friends. The first time I formally introduced myself to him, he was sitting at his kitchen table cleaning his shot gun. He sized me up and I think he found me lacking, despite my best efforts.

A part of me always took it personally that a part of him would never think I was good enough. That was until I had my own daughter. It wasn't until I could stand in his shoes that I understood. He was afraid that if he fully trusted me with his daughter, he would have to let her go completely; that he would somehow lose her.

I wish I had known sooner. I wish I could have told him that it didn't have to be that way. That he could trust me and still keep her in his heart. Maybe things would have been different between us. Maybe instead of spending so much time at odds, we could have built an even happier life for our families. Maybe we could have even been friends. I'm glad that we were at least able to have it at the end. I'm glad that I could shake his hand and see in his eyes that he believed he could let go because Bella would be safe.

Right before he passed, he encouraged me not to make the same mistakes he did." Bella's head came up at this. I had not told her this part. "I will live out the rest of my days being the best man I can be. That's what he wanted. I will learn to open my heart even though I fear being hurt. I will learn to let go so that I can ultimately hold on to what I hold dear. And most importantly, I will learn to stand and fight when I feel like giving up.

What I learned from Charlie is that life is too short for us all. Forever is promised to no one." I left the podium and took my seat next to Bella.

Bella sat staring at Charlie's coffin. I couldn't tell if she was thinking about what I had said last or if she had decided against speaking all together, but then she stood sharply, put her eyes on the podium and walked stiffly to face the crowd.

"My dad was a man of few words. That was fine with me because I've always been the same way. We were alike in that we were uncomfortable exchanging any show of emotion. But my one regret is never taking the time to tell him how much I loved him. It would have made us both uncomfortable at first, I'm sure.

But as I stand here looking at his final resting place, I would give anything to have him here for a few more minutes. I would tell him one more time with every word I could find just how much he means to me. How proud I am to be his daughter. To have him put his arms around me one more time… I thought we'd have more time. But we didn't…" Bella's voice cracked and her hands gripped the edges of the podium so tight that they groaned in protest.

Bella paused to wipe at her eyes, even though she could not cry, and I glimpsed a slightly disintegrated contact lens on her glove. When I tried to look into Bella's mind, there was a sickening vibration surrounding her thoughts. It was more intense than the hum I had been hearing from her mind for weeks now. It was like nothing I had ever heard before.

Bella's eyes snapped up and locked on mine. It was as if she knew what I was doing, and she was not happy about it. I didn't think it was possible for someone to sense me reading their mind, but whatever was going on with Bella lately had been creating a great deal of confusion for both of us.

I realized that with her missing contact lens, she had one chocolate brown eye and one jet black eye since she had not eaten in weeks. Then it hit me. Alice's vision! In the vision Alice had right before we heard the news of Renee's plane crash, I had seen this moment: Bella, with one brown eye and one black eye! I ran through the next events in the vision. Would they happen in order? I couldn't be sure, but what I did know was that nothing that happened next was going to be good.

Bella blinked and shook her head before stepping away from the podium. I quickly scanned the crowd to see if anyone had noticed, but no one seemed alarmed or gave any thought that they had seen Bella with two different eye colors.

The minister stepped back to the podium. "Thank you to everyone for being here to share this farewell. We will now begin the rose processional. A reception is being held at Blakeslee's for anyone that wishes to attend."

We sat in the front row as everyone walked up to place a rose on Charlie's casket. Bella sat staring down at the ground, her face contorting in frustration and agony. The vibration from her mind was something I could now feel rather than hear. Her eyes went wide, and then her brow furrowed in anguish. Something was happening with her. I did not know what to do. I put my arm around her and held her to me, and the vibration became even stronger. It was almost as if it was trying to push me away.

"Bella," I whispered. "Talk to me. What's going on?"

"I don't know. I don't know anything anymore." she said as she stood abruptly and cut in line to place a rose on Charlie's casket. She held it in her hand until she had mangled it. She then threw it at the casket and ran a little too quickly to the car. I had to restrain myself to keep from running to her at vampire speed to keep her from bolting from the cemetery in front of all of these witnesses. Luckily Alice was at the back of the crowd, having been one of the first to place a rose, and she quickly went to Bella's side.

"Bella, what is it?" Alice asked.

"I need to leave. Now. Something's not right." Bella said.

We rushed as quickly as we could to the cars without raising suspicions of the crowd in the cemetery and headed home. Something was definitely not right.

* **************CHAPTER END*****************


	18. We All Fall Down

CHAPTER SIXTEEN

WE ALL FALL DOWN

The limousine pulled into the driveway of the main house with Jacob and Renesmee in the Tesla right down the road. They were on their way to the house after having made sure someone from the packs would take Billy home. Bella jumped from the limousine before it had completely stopped and rushed into the house. I found her in the library, pacing, glancing out the wall of windows and then staring back at the ground. She was blinking rapidly and shaking her head as if to knock loose whatever had taken root inside of her. I had never seen her like this before.

I wanted to put my arms around her, but she was pacing and agitated. The silence was broken only by the click of Bella's heels as she paced, faster and faster, across the hardwood floor. When I tried to touch her, she pulled away. I wondered what I should do or say right then. I said the first thing that came to mind. "Bella, I'm so sorry. He's in a better place now. He's no longer in pain."

Bella halted her pointed assault on the floor and turned to glare at me. "In a better place?! Are you serious right now, Edward? How is wherever he is better than being here with his family?" Bella raged.

Her rage, aimed directly at me, caught me off guard and I blurted out, "You knew this was going to happen, Bella. Even without the cancer it would have happened someday." I regretted the words as soon as they left my mouth. It made sense in my head, but sounded completely asinine and heartless hanging in the air between us.

"Yeah, some day, Edward!" she spat. "But I thought I would have more time! I should have had more time! First my mom, and now Charlie too? It's not fair! It's not fair!" she raged, slamming her fist down on the small console table behind the sofa. The top exploded into splinters, and the vases setting on top crashed to the floor,

"Bella, please…" I tried to soothe her. I had not seen her like this before. She shook with pure emotion. I heard from her mind the sickening vibration from the cemetery.

As our family rushed into the room to investigate the noise of the crashing table, a deafening roar exploded from deep within Bella's chest. Every piece of glass in the room shattered in unison, even the triple-paned floor to ceiling windows. There were screams, and everyone tried to brace themselves from the glass. Broken glass...that was the next part of Alice's vision.

In the following dead silence, I looked into my wife's dark black eyes and saw a pain and chaos I had never seen before in another creature. I wished desperately to be able to help her.

That is when it hit me.

The roar that destroyed the glass in the room was nothing compared to what next came from my wife's mind. The vibration that had unsettled me all day became a blinding reverberation. It took me to my knees in an instant. It felt like my head was caving in. I could feel it radiating through my body. I was vaguely aware of Jasper collapsing as well. Whatever was going on with Bella was affecting him too. What was happening? Where there was once blankness from Bella's mind now came her voice in my head through the roar. No! No! No! No!

I struggled to glance up. Bella, her hands gripping her hair in handfuls as if to tear it out, looked wild with panic and fury. But that couldn't be. Self-control, her 'superpower' as she called it, should allow her to contain this, and yet, I could hear her. Not only hear her, but almost feel her inside of my head. She felt broken, scattered, and stumbling. Her shield wasn't merely down. It was as if it was taking shape, lashing out at me. It seemed to be causing Jasper pain as well.

This can't be happening! This can't be happening! She raged on in my head.

I realized what she was doing. She was struggling to gain control of herself. And she was losing. The harder she fought, the more she panicked when she could not succeed, and the more she lost her grip. I could feel her sanity slipping with every passing moment.

"Bella! Please! Let me help you!" I urged as Carlisle stood over me trying to determine the source of my pain.

"Stay away from me!" She screamed as she bolted from the room.

I wanted to run after her and catch her but before I could, Alice was next to me showing me a vision of Bella. And Aro.

Bella, held by Demetri and Felix, stood before Aro. Her eyes, a deep blood red, burned at Aro as he leered at her maniacally.

"And so the pendulum swings, my dearest Bella. No longer the poised and controlled fortress, are we? No. I think not!" Aro reached out and grabbed Bella's hand savagely. I could feel him digging through her thoughts, devouring them desperately, expecting her shield to come up and cut him off. But she couldn't control it, and because of that, he saw everything.

He saw her running through the forest. He saw her come upon a remote village in the far parts of some foreign country. He watched as Bella stalked the villagers. He was filled with glee as Bella saw a young girl with her father, was filled with rage, and attacked. First she killed the girl, then the father, draining them mercilessly and painfully. Once that was complete, she ravaged the rest of the villagers as well.

"My, my, Bella…someone has been very naughty indeed. So disappointing." said Aro, shaking his head, his voice dripping with mockery. He was not disappointed at all. He motioned to Jane, who unleashed her power upon Bella, crippling her with unimaginable pain, bringing her to her knees. Bella's scream of agony was cut short when Caius gripped the sides of her head and pulled it clean from her shoulders.

"No!" I roared as I ran after Bella.

* **************CHAPTER END*****************


	19. Empty Echo

CHAPTER SEVENTEEN

EMPTY ECHO

I leapt out of the gaping hole that used to be a floor to ceiling window in pursuit of Bella. As I ran through the trees, I followed her scent. I had to stop and change directions several times as she abruptly maneuvered through the woods trying to avoid being caught. The trail weaved around the ground and then went into the trees themselves.

I reached out to Bella's mind and got nothing but the horrid vibration echoing in my head, blinding me. It was disorienting and I couldn't use it to locate her, so I had only her scent to track. In the distance I could hear the rest of our family joining the search, their minds racing.

"Her scent is everywhere…"

"How has she covered so much ground?"

"She's in the trees…"

"Where is she going?"

"I need to find her."

The last stream of thought I recognized as Renesmee's. She shouldn't be out in the woods searching. It was too dangerous. I could tell from Renesmee's thoughts that Jacob had told her the same thing.

The rest of the pack had arrived just as I had left to find Bella, except for Colin & Brady who had been tasked with taking Billy home from the funeral. Alice had told them the basics of what happened and they all phased and ran toward the trail. All except Jacob and Seth.

"Nessie, please stay here, this is too dangerous for you." Jacob had begged.

"I'm not going to stay here and twiddle my thumbs while everyone is looking for my mom, Jacob. You can't keep me from trying to help her." Renesmee replied.

"I understand how you feel, but I need to be able to focus and I can't do that if I'm worried about you getting hurt. Please, just stay here." Jacob insisted.

"I can take care of myself, Jacob!" Nessie had shouted.

"Damn it, I don't have time for this! Stay here, Renesmee." Jacob growled, as he turned to Seth, "Seth, stay with Renesmee and keep her from harm." Jacob commanded of Seth. Seth nodded and Jacob phased and ran out to find Bella.

"I'm sorry, Seth, but I'm going." Renesmee said as she turned to leave the house. Without a word, Seth's hand shot out and he grabbed her arm, stopping her movement with an abrupt jerk. Seth winced as Renesmee stumbled in his grasp.

"Let me go, Seth." Renesmee demanded.

Seth's face twisted in agony. "Jake told me to stay with you, to keep you from harm. I can't let you go." Seth grimaced. He seemed to be at war with himself as to whether to obey Jacob or give in to Renesmee. No member of the pack could disobey a direct order from the alpha. But then again, no one had ever been able to say no to Renesmee.

"Let me go, Seth. Right now." Renesmee repeated, exerting every ounce of will against Seth.

Seth began to shake under the strain of the warring influences in his mind. His breathing became labored, and sweat broke out on his brow. "I can't." he whispered, looking away from Renesmee.

Renesmee tried to yank her arm out of Seth's grip, but she could not get free. "Seth Clearwater, if you do not let go of me right now, I will never forgive you. Do you hear me? Let go!" Renesmee screamed.

Seth screamed in pain and then gasped for air. Tears streamed down his face as he fell to his knee, his whole body trembling, but his grip did not falter. Renesmee looked down at Seth in horror as his nose began to bleed. He looked into her eyes, silently begging her to release him. Renesmee vaguely realized that something was going on above and beyond the command that Jacob had given, and Seth's loyalty to his alpha.

"Please, Renesmee…I love you…please don't do this to me…" Seth whispered as his eyes rolled back in his head.

That was it. That is what was tearing him apart. He loved her. He wanted her to be happy…wanted to give her what she wanted, and he couldn't, and it was tearing him apart right in front of her. She had seen that same look in Jacob's eyes so many times. She realized that they both must be in love with her. She had seen herself with Jacob in a future that had flashed before her eyes when she thought she was on the edge of losing him.

Could she see herself with Seth too? Did she even feel that way about him? She hadn't known she was capable of feeling that way about Jacob until it blind-sided her. Now she looked at Seth and saw more to him than she ever had. So much more of her life made sense with this new knowledge. She was in a triangle and didn't even know it until that moment. She had always been drawn to Seth in a way, much to Jacob's annoyance. Was there more to it? Could there be more to it? She would never know if he died right now.

"Seth, no!" Renesmee screamed as she knelt down. "I will stay with you! I'll stay. Please, stop. It's okay." she yelled. Seth released her and lost consciousness. As she looked down at him in her arms, she felt butterflies deep in her stomach. It was something she had never felt before, not even when she had imagined her future with Jacob.

"Seth! Seth please, I'm so sorry! Please…please" Renesmee wept as she rocked Seth in her arms. The thought of losing him broke something inside of her.

"I love you too, Seth, please stay with me. Please stay." Renesmee said as she kissed his forehead.

Seth opened his eyes and looked at Renesmee. She caressed his face and smiled, relieved that he was okay.

"Seth, I'm so sorry. What happened?" Renesmee asked.

"I can't disobey a direct order from the alpha of the pack, Renesmee, but I also can't say no to you. Not just because no one can say no to you, but because I love you. More intensely than I have ever felt for anyone." Seth admitted.

"Seth, have you imprinted on me?" Renesmee had asked.

"Leah says no, but I can't imagine feeling any more intensely for anyone than I do for you." he said.

"Okay, we definitely need to talk about this, but now is not the time." Renesmee reasoned. "We need to find my mom."

"Renesmee, Jacob said…" Seth began before Renesmee interrupted.

"He said to stay with me and keep me from harm." Renesmee clarified.

Seth shook his head, but realized arguing was pointless. He sat up, wiping his face with his shirt before taking it off, and said, "Stand back."

Renesmee took several paces back and Seth phased into his wolf form. He crouched down onto the ground and looked to Renesmee. She stepped forward and climbed onto his back and they ran into the woods.

Now Renesmee was on Seth's back running through the woods searching for Bella, and through wolf telepathy, Jacob raged at Seth for disobeying him, even though Seth argued that he wasn't technically disobeying.

Tuning out their quarrel, I focused on trying to locate Bella. We had to widen our search as it went on and Bella covered more ground. I couldn't even say she was running in circles because circles would have made a modicum of sense. But Bella wasn't making sense right now. She was like a wounded animal frantic for escape. Every time I tried to reach out to her mind, I got the vibration and a feeling of being pushed away from her. With more people searching, Bella would find it harder to evade.

"She's starting to circle closer to town." Leah pointed out. I had to find her before she got to town. The pack wouldn't want to chase her through the streets of Forks in wolf form, so they were going to try to find her before she got there. If she became a threat to the town, their nature would compel them to neutralize her. Jacob realized this as well.

"Edward, I can't look for Bella and worry about Nessie. Please tell her to go back to the house with Seth." Jacob said in his head. He must be out of sorts if he thought for one minute that I could influence Renesmee in any way regarding staying out of this. I had to try, though, because worrying about her was distracting me as well.

I searched for her thoughts and saw she was near the river bank. Bella's trail had gone into the water and she and Seth were trying to find where Bella had come out on the other side. I ran to her as swiftly as I could. She and Seth turned to me with strained expressions.

"Did you find her, Dad?" Renesmee asked.

"Not yet, Renesmee." I said, "but I need you to go back to the house with Seth."

"Don't start this too, Dad. Jacob already tried to pull this one on me. I'm not going to sit around waiting while everyone else is hunting my mother!" Renesmee insisted.

I could feel my resolve to send Renesmee home slipping from my grasp. She wanted to stay and search and as she stood and stared me down, I found it harder and harder to resist acquiescing to her will.

"Renesmee, please. We don't have time for this." I said.

Seth's voice was in my head, "Bella seems to be heading south. Tell Renesmee she can search north. I'll keep her safe."

"Fine, if you won't go home, you and Seth check the North with Paul and Jared." I said in my most begrudging tone, hoping she would buy it. She did.

"Fine, Seth and I will go North." she said without rebuff.

I didn't have time to wonder why she had agreed so easily, or if she would actually listen, because right then I heard Leah call out that she saw Bella further south. I turned and headed across the river to pick up Bella's scent and continue searching. I reached out to everyone to see where they were and what they were seeing. It was a cacophony of thought, each person processing their own observations and having their own thoughts along the way.

Jacob's thoughts caught my attention. He had just realized something, and though I had missed seeing it in his head, whatever it was had him veering off and heading toward the back end of town. I had to decide whether to keep searching where I was, or follow Jacob. Since there were so many already searching the current area, I chose to follow Jacob. He had obviously realized something, and since he did not want the others in the pack to know it, he was avoiding thinking of it. This meant he would be alone, and that thought worried me.

In Bella's current condition, there was no telling how she would react to Jacob in his wolf form. As I followed him, I realized where we were headed.

Jacob found Bella in the trees near Charlie's house. She must have been instinctively going toward the thing that reminded her of her father; seeking some sort of comfort or relief from the pain. Jacob caught up to her before she could reach the house itself and he phased into human form to try to talk to her and calm her down.

"Bella! Stop!" Jacob pleaded. "You don't have to run. It's okay."

"Go away, Jake!" Bella yelled, trying not to look at Jacob's naked form. "You don't know what's happening to me. You all need to stay away!"

"Bella, please, don't do this. Don't push us away. We can help you." Jacob insisted as he approached her.

Bella tried to run off, but she ended up against a rock wall. She was about to climb it when Jacob grabbed her around the waist. Bella broke his grip, then turned and shoved him. Jacob somersaulted to a standing position and said the only thing he could think of to stop Bella.

"If you leave, Edward will die." Jacob snarled.

Bella paused and Jacob continued.

"You and I both know that he can't live without you…won't live without you. Think of what you are sentencing him to if you leave, Bella." Jacob begged. At first I thought Jacob was just using these words as a tactic to stop Bella, but looking into his mind I realized that he was truly angry with her. The thought of my pain if she left actually hurt Jacob. I didn't know that he cared about me in such a way to be concerned like that.

Bella turned to Jacob, her mind racing. "It's no worse than his sentence if I stay." Bella hissed.

"And Renesmee? You would abandon her too?" Jacob said with disgust. Bella's eyes darted, seeing nothing as she tilted her head back and screamed.

Based on what I could see through Jacob's thoughts, this didn't seem to be working. Jacob had her backed up against the wall and she seemed ready to pounce at him at any moment.

When I tried to look into Bella's mind, her shield was blinding and deafening all at once. I couldn't read it, but I could feel it. Danger. I caught enough to know that she was desperate, and Jacob had no idea how much trouble he was in.

I made the decision to stop Bella no matter what, and hoped that Alice would see it, as I bolted to save my wife from hurting her best friend, and possibly my daughter's future husband.

Being faster than the others, I got there first. Just in time to see the horror unfold. Jacob was trying desperately to get through to Bella, but she was frantic. She saw me, backed into the wall, and panicked. She lunged to attack Jacob. I wouldn't be able to get there in time. Jacob didn't have time to phase. He was going to die by Bella's hand, and there would be no turning back from this.

* **************CHAPTER END*****************


	20. No Turning Back

CHAPTER EIGHTEEN

NO TURNING BACK

As a vampire, I had always perceived things differently. Able to process in more vivid detail due to heightened senses and a mind that processed at lightning speed, when I focused on something, it seemed to happen in an agonizingly slow motion.

Unfortunately my mind processed much faster than my body could move and I was helpless to stop the events that played out in front of me.

As Bella lunged for Jacob, Sam, in wolf form, burst out of the trees above the rock wall. He landed on Bella's back just as she reached Jacob. Startled by the unexpected weight on her back, she gave up reaching for Jacob and instead turned to face her attacker as they fell to the ground.

Bella reached out desperately as she and Sam rolled across the ground, tangled together. There was a loud, wet tearing sound as Bella rolled away from Sam and stood.

Her arm was covered in blood to the elbow, and she had ribbons of it splashed across her face and clothes. She held in her hand a piece of flesh that was pouring blood onto the ground. But looking closer, I realized it wasn't flesh, it was a heart. Bella was standing with Sam's heart in her hand. His body, phased back to human form, lay lifeless at her feet.

"No!" Jacob screamed, trying to run for Sam. I ran to Jacob and held him back, unsure of what Bella would do if he got too close. Just then, Renesmee and Seth burst through the trees. Seth collapsed to the ground howling at the sight of Sam and Bella. Renesmee slipped from his back and stumbled forward a few steps before whispering, "Mom! No!"

Before Bella could answer, the rest of our family and the packs arrived and stopped dead at the scene, trying to process the visual.

Leah made a move for Bella, but Seth recovered himself enough to stand in her way. She growled at him, but he stood his ground and growled back. Jacob pushed me away as he turned toward Leah, phased, and took a place next to Seth, blocking the advance toward Bella.

"I'm so sorry." Whispered Bella, before she dropped Sam's heart and ran back into the trees.

The vampires in the search party were going to pursue Bella and let the wolves deal with their own pack issues until Renesmee stepped forward.

"Stop!" Renesmee commanded, and everyone paused. "All of you, just stop. We can't do this. If we keep chasing her then she will just keep hurting people to get away. We have to let her go." Leah growled at Renesmee and Jacob snapped at Leah, forcing her to back down.

Renesmee walked over to Sam and turned him onto his back. There was a gaping hole in his chest where Bella had removed his heart. Renesmee grimaced at the sight. She removed her long overcoat and draped it over his body.

She smoothed his hair back from his face and cried, remembering him, and thinking of the times he had been kind to her. She thought of her mother and how she did not know whether she would ever see her again. Renesmee's sobs escalated until she threw her head back and screamed. The sound became an inhuman howl as she poured out all of her pain into the air. The other members of the pack let loose their own cries of sorrow.

I closed my eyes and let the chorus of devastation wash over me and through me. I reached out to find Bella's mind and could hear nothing. Not even the vibration. I felt everything collapsing in my heart and mind as I thought Bella, what have you done?

* **************CHAPTER END*****************


	21. Unwoven

CHAPTER NINETEEN

UNWOVEN

"Is there anything on the news?" I asked no one in particular as I paced the forest floor. "If Alice saw Bella massacring a town, she might cause other havoc on her way to that dark future. There might be signs in the news. We might be able to stop her."

"Edward, it's probably too soon for that." Carlisle said quietly, putting a hand on my shoulder to stop my pacing.

Dagny had shown up minutes after Bella had run off. As an officer of the law, he could not ignore a death.

"Technically this is within the town of Forks and is in my jurisdiction." Dagny said, looking at Leah.

"Good! If Jacob won't let me kill her, then she can go to jail for murder. We will find her and you can arrest her!" Leah raged.

"Leah, I need you to calm down." Dagny said, placing one of Leah's hands in between his and kissing her fingers. "Will you do that for me, please?"

Leah's face was a mask of struggle, but she nodded and took a deep breath, closing her eyes and attempting to quell her rage.

"We aren't here right now." Dagny said to everyone in the clearing. "This didn't happen here. This is obviously a bear attack that took place within the boundaries of the Quileute reservation. I'm sure the tribe will want to know there is a bear on their land. I will contact the chief of the La Push police in an hour and tell him that a report was made by hikers that there is a body near the edge of the reservation. Let's make sure he finds one." Dagny said, looking intently at Jacob.

Jacob nodded. "We'll get it done. Quil, Embry, Jared, Paul, you guys take Sam to the rez and then go to the shop. I'll meet you there."

Embry stepped toward Sam, but Quil, Jared, and Paul stood in place, looking at each other with tears in their eyes..

"What's wrong?" Jacob asked.

"I don't know what to do. I feel so lost." Paul said.

"It hurts so bad, and I can't think straight." Jared said.

"What's wrong with us?" Quil asked Jacob.

"Your alpha is dead, so technically you have no pack now. I will take you. You can be with me and Leah and Seth and Embry, if you want." Jacob said.

"Yes." said Paul. He took a deep breath and seemed to relax.

"Me too." said Quil, who smiled and took a ragged breath.

"Yeah." said Jared as he drew in a sharp breath and then shook his head, wiping his eyes and sniffing. "Let's do this."

Quil, Embry, Jared, and Paul took Sam's body and began the arduous task of transporting him through the wilderness to the Quileute reservation.

"Why are you doing this?" Jacob asked Dagny.

"I told you before that I would never do anything to hurt Leah or reveal the secrets we all carry. I know that Charlie didn't know the whole truth, but what you all don't seem to realize is that he covered for all of you. A lot. Apparently it comes with the job." Dagny said, running his hand through his hair. "So, to answer your question, I am doing this because it's the right thing to do. We have to protect each other from the outside world."

"She has to be punished." Leah whispered.

"She will be." Dagny said. "Every day of her immortal life. Do you really think Bella is a monster? A cruel maniac that killed Sam out of spite or some other dark intent? No. She's broken and scared. It was an accident, Leah. When she comes to her senses, she will be devastated. She will punish herself more than any of us ever could. Besides, do you really think putting a vampire in jail would in any way keep their secret, or yours?"

Leah was irritated by his logic, but couldn't deny it.

Dagny turned to me and asked, "Is there anywhere she would go? Some place special? Anyone she would turn to?"

"No. I can't imagine her taking any of this to someone else's door. She's stubborn. She will try to handle this alone." I said.

"Someone has to tell Emily." Renesmee said.

"I'll do it." Jacob said, turning to go.

"Like hell! She's my cousin, I will tell her. She's not going to want to see your miserable face, feeling sorry for Bella, while you tell her that she killed Sam." Leah spat.

"I'll tell her." Seth said, speaking for the first time since he had phased back into human form. "She's my cousin too, and you are way too venom on Bella. She doesn't need that right now."

Renesmee shook her head and walked toward the trees.

"Renesmee, where are you going?" I asked.

"I will tell Emily. She's my friend. And she needs a friend right now. You all can stay here and fight." Renesmee said.

"I will go with you." I told her. "And there is no sense arguing. I'm coming. Let's go."

"What? No!" yelled Leah, but Dagny held her back and shook his head.

"We will all go." Dagny said. "This is about Emily, not any of us. We need to be strong for her and stop fighting. She needs us all."

The drive to Emily's seemed to go on forever. Dagny was behind us with Leah in his cruiser. I was driving the Tesla with Jacob, Seth, and Renesmee in the back seats. Renesmee was sitting in the middle holding both Jacob's and Seth's hands, taking deep breaths and trying to will the tears in her eyes to stop falling.

We pulled up in front of Emily's house and as we got out of the cars, Emily came outside, a pained grimace on her face.

"I wasn't expecting visitors. You all should have called, I'm not feeling well at all. I suddenly started feeling this awful pain in my chest. I was about to go to the medical center…" Emily's voice trailed off as she got a closer look at the faces of the people gathered in front of her house. "What is it? What happened?"

Renesmee stepped forward and Emily looked at her wide-eyed as Renesmee put her arms around Emily.

"I'm so sorry, Em." Renesmee said.

"Sorry? Why? What's going on?" Emily said, grabbing Renesmee's shoulders to look in her eyes and asking, "What happened, Renesmee?" Emily looked around and realized that Sam, Quil, Paul, Jared, and Embry were not present.

"It's Sam. He's gone Emily. I'm so sorry." Renesmee said.

"What? No." Emily said, her face contorting in anguished doubt. "No. Come on you guys this isn't funny." Emily said, backing up.

"It's true." Jacob said, glancing at Emily and quickly looking away.

"No." Emily breathed, the pain in her chest and head increased as she stumbled backwards. I ran forward to catch her so that she wouldn't hit the ground. She steadied herself quickly and pulled away from me. "How? Where are the others? Are they…?"

"No." Dagny said. "They are with Sam right now."

"I want to see him! Take me to him! Now!" Emily demanded.

"We will, we just have to wait for the coroner to pick him up and take him to the medical center." Dagny said.

"Well let's go then." Emily said, tears streaming from her eyes. In her mind, she did not want to believe any of this, but she was slowly realizing that it must be true. She was in so much pain and she was just beginning to connect the pieces that her pain came from Sam's passing.

When no one moved at her demand, she became suspicious.

"What aren't you telling me?" she asked, looking around. "How did he die?"

"It was an accident." Renesmee said. "My mom…"Renesmee choked slightly and then took a deep breath. "Something happened to my mom. She… snapped… or something. She tried to run away from us, but we chased her down. We weren't sure if she would hurt herself or someone else. Jacob found her and she lunged for him and Sam tried to stop her. She killed him trying to get away." Renesmee finished, weeping. "I'm so sorry, Emily." Renesmee said as she reached for Emily.

Emily recoiled. "Bella killed Sam?"

"Yes." Jacob said.

Emily looked around at all of us, tears pouring out of her eyes, her breath hitching in her chest.

"Leave." Emily said.

"Emily, let us help you." Jacob said.

"You have done more than enough, Jacob Black." Emily spat. Jacob was taken aback by her outburst. "Sam took you in, we took you in, we both cared for you, fed you, looked out for you, but your heart was never here with us. You left. If it had been to be your own alpha, I could have accepted that, but you left to protect them. Always to protect them. And now you say you are sorry? I don't think you are. Not the way you should be. Leave, now, and take your family with you."

"Emily!" Renesmee pleaded as Jacob and Seth held her back.

"I'm sorry, Renesmee, but when I look at you, I see her." Emily whispered. She turned to Dagny. "Take me to Sam."

Dagny nodded. He, Emily, and Leah got in the squad car and drove to the medical center where the La Push coroner would take Sam.

"Let's go back to the house. There's nothing more for us to do here." I said.

"Seth and I have to stay." Jacob said. "We have to be with the tribe for the next three days. I'm sorry Renesmee. It's tradition. Please understand."

Renesmee nodded. Seth looked as if he wanted to argue, but thought better of it.

"Do you want a ride somewhere?" I asked Jacob.

"No, we got it." Jacob said.

" I'll call you later, okay?" Seth said to Renesmee.

She nodded and hugged him and then Jacob. "You guys go on. I'll be okay. I've got my dad."

Jacob glanced at me and said silently, "You better keep it together for her. She needs you right now."

I nodded and Jacob and Seth jogged off into the trees.

"Let's go home." I said to Renesmee, putting my arm around her and leading her to the passenger side of the car.

The drive home was a quiet one. I parked in front of the house and opened the passenger door for Renesmee. She got out, her movements stiff, her eyes staring off into nowhere.

"Maybe you should lie down, Renesmee." I suggested. She nodded and then looked to me with swollen red eyes.

"Can I stay in the guest room in the main house? I don't think I can be in the cottage right now." She admitted.

"Of course. Come on." I said as I guided her into the house. Carlisle and Esme were waiting for us.

"Come here, dear." said Esme, putting an arm around Renesmee and walking with her to the guest room.

"How are you holding up, son?" Carlisle asked, placing a hand on my shoulder and looking deep into my eyes.

"I don't know." I admitted. "Will you keep an eye on Renesmee? I need to go out."

"Edward, are you sure that's wise?" Carlisle asked, his brow coming together with concern.

"No, I'm not sure. But I'm not sure of anything right now except that I cannot just sit around and wait. I need to be out there. She is out there struggling, in the worst pain she has ever known, and I am not there with her." I lamented.

"Go and walk then, but be careful." Carlisle said.

I stepped outside and Alice was there waiting for me.

"I hope you're not here to try to stop me, because I'm going out there." I told her as I walked toward her. The look on her face stopped me. "Alice, what is it? Have you seen something?"

"That's just it, Edward. I see nothing." Alice whispered.

"What do you mean by nothing." I asked trying to quell the panic bubbling inside of me.

"I'm sorry Edward, but I don't see her." Alice said with a stunned hush in her voice.

"What does that mean, Alice? Why can't you see her?" I demanded.

"There are a few possibilities when I can't see someone. If werewolves are heavily involved, or if they are refraining from making decisions, but this feels different." Alice paused.

"Different how, Alice? Please!" I begged.

"If I can't see someone because they aren't making decisions, I can still feel them as part of the fabric of possibility. The same as with people involved with werewolves. At first it seems like they are totally gone, but if you look hard enough, you can still see them. Jacob has been helping me work on that." Alice rambled.

"That's fabulous Alice, but you said this is different. Looking for Bella feels different." I was beginning to lose my patience. I could tell Alice was hiding something.

"Edward, I can't feel her anymore. At all." Alice hesitated.

"No, Alice. No! You can't mean that she's… She's not…" I couldn't even bring myself to say the word out loud. Dead. She couldn't be. Could Bella have been in so much pain that she would have found a way to end her life? No. I refused to even entertain that.

"It's worse than that Edward."

"How the hell can it be worse than that?" I demanded.

"When people die, I see that. I can see them as part of the existence that precedes a vision of the future. The essence of them. But when I try to look for Bella she's just gone. Disappeared. There is this emptiness where her existence used to be within the realm of possibility. But spaces where she should be, even if she is not making decisions, or if she is with one of the pack, she's not there. It's like she was completely pulled from the fabric of everything." Alice whispered.

I didn't know what to do. I felt more helpless than ever. How could Bella just disappear?

* **************CHAPTER END*****************


	22. House of Cards

CHAPTER TWENTY

HOUSE OF CARDS

I left Alice standing in front of the house and I ran out into the wilderness. I wandered the back areas of the Olympic Peninsula for hours until I found myself at Dr. Peruro's doorstep. When I realized where I was, I turned to leave, but before I could get off the doorstep, Dr. Peruro opened the door.

"Edward? Is that you?" she asked, squinting into the dark. The bulb was out on her porch light.

I turned back to her and said, "I'm sorry to disturb you, Dr. Peruro. I was out for a walk and just ended up here. I know it's late. I'll go." As I turned away again to leave she stopped me.

"You aren't disturbing me, Edward. Please, come in." she said as she stepped back and opened the door wide. "It's fine. Really."

I hung my head low as I walked into the warmth of her living room. My eyes fell on the white upholstered couch where Bella had once sat talking about her problems, our problems. I felt a tightness in my chest that I was all too familiar with since Bella had disappeared. It never ceased to amaze me how much a heart that did not beat could actually hurt. Rather than sit on the couch, I sat in the leather chair across the coffee table from the matching chair in which the doctor sat.

"Thank you for seeing me." I whispered.

"Of course." she nodded.

The silence was heavy between us. I didn't know where to begin or what to even say. I glanced at the fire in the fireplace and pondered everything. I knew what I wanted to say, but so much of this involved things I could never say to a normal human being. Why did I even come here? What made me think I could talk to the doctor about any of this?

"I see that you are struggling with what to say." the doctor observed, breaking the silence. "Let me assure you, Edward, there probably isn't anything you could tell me that would surprise or shock me. I've been counseling people like you for a long time."

Something in her tone caught me off guard. People like me? What did that mean? I thought to ask her as much, but then I looked into her eyes and tried to read her mind as a reflex. As usual, there was nothing there. Suddenly, something Alice had said came to me. The doctor's mind felt different than any other mind I had ever explored. I had spent years trying to penetrate Bella's mind, just out of curiosity, to see if there was a way around her shield. Whenever I tried, I could tell something was there, I just couldn't access it. It had been the same way with Charlie as well, to a lesser degree; an obvious, inaccessible blank space.

But when I tried to look into the doctor's mind, there was literally nothing there. As if the doctor herself wasn't even there. It was as if she was not a part of the fabric of everything, as Alice had put it. I had never before noticed this.

It wasn't until Alice had given it a name that I realized that all along something had seemed off about the doctor. Not just the silence in her mind, but the inexplicable way that both Bella and I felt so comfortable around her, and possibly even so far back as Carlisle feeling confident in recommending her, all now screamed to me that something was not right with this woman.

"Where is Bella?" I said in a low voice, not taking my eyes from hers.

She did not flinch at the question. Her smile seemed to freeze in place and it felt like the warmth left the room as her eyes focused on me more intently. Somehow I knew she was hiding something, but there was more to it, I could tell.

I could make her tell me the truth. I could squeeze the life from her until she gave me the answers I wanted. She was obviously hiding something.

"Edward, I see that you are having a hard time with recent events, and I feel for you, but you must know that violence is not the answer." she said in a voice that would have been but a murmur to human ears.

I sat dumbfounded at this. Had she read my mind? Did my body language belie my internal musings? How did she know I would be able to hear her? Who was this woman?

"Do you trust Bella?" she asked.

I was startled by the question "What do you mean? Trust her how?" I asked, my previous suspicion fading inexplicably as I pondered the question.

"Not necessarily now, in her current state, but overall, at her core, do you trust her? Do you believe she has good judgment?" the doctor persisted.

"I believe that she loves me and her family and friends and she would always do what she thinks is best for us." I answered.

"That's not what I asked you, Edward. I didn't ask if you thought she was loyal or caring. I asked if you trust her and her judgment." the doctor clarified.

Did I trust Bella? It was a question I had never asked myself. I loved Bella with every fiber of my being, but did I really trust her? I had to admit that a part of me did not trust her judgment solely because she had fallen for me. Despite all of the warnings she had felt when we first met, she eventually succumbed to my charms and decided that she could not live without me. I realized that my judgment against that first and most crucial lapse of judgment on Bella's part had colored my behavior toward her everyday that I had known her. The very fact that she chose me made me question her.

I felt like my world was caving in around me.

"Love is not some uncontrollable sensation that we are helplessly victim to, Edward. It's easier to think it is some random thing that we cannot control, that way we have no blame in its ebb and flow, but the fact is, it's simply not true. Love is a choice. That is why people fear it. If you can choose to love someone, then you can choose to not love them. How frightening is that? We are all one decision away from heartbreak and loneliness." the doctor said. "But conversely, we are all one decision away from love. So I ask you again, Edward. Do you trust Bella?" She asked.

At her core, and for whatever reason, Bella loved me. Yes, she chose me when all reason told her to run, but if I were to continue to try to see myself as a monster, then I would have to see Bella as one now too, and that I could not do. She had seen in me a soul that I did not know I had. She chose love. So would I.

"Yes. I trust Bella." I said without hesitation.

"Do you think she will come back?" the doctor asked.

"If it's in her power to do so, I believe she will come back." I said. Just saying the words out loud made me feel better.

"Then allow her the time to do what she needs to do. If you are right, then she will come back." the doctor said.

I nodded. I thanked the doctor for taking the time to talk to me and I left, walking back through the night to the cottage. It wasn't until I was sitting on the couch, staring at the ashes of the last fire that had been lit in my fireplace that I realized that the doctor had avoided my question when I asked where Bella was. And I had thanked her for her counsel and simply left like I was sleep walking without questioning her in the slightest about all of the strange things I had realized sitting across from her moments earlier. Panic and anger coursed through me as I rushed back to the doctor's house.

There were no lights on. I pounded on the front door, and when she did not answer, I went to the back door and pounded there as well. Still no answer. She could not hide from me. I would have my answers. I kicked in the back door and bounded into the kitchen. It was dark, but I could see everything clearly. It was disheveled and covered in a thick layer of dirt, as if it had been sitting for years unattended. Confused I burst through the kitchen door into the living room and received quite a shock.

The wallpaper was peeling from the dingy walls, and water leaked from the second floor through moldy holes in the ceiling. The hardwood floors were worn through in places so that you could see through to the earth below. Against the wall was a torn and dirty couch that may have been white at one point in its existence, but such a shade was now only a memory to this disintegrating piece of history. There was a crate in front of the couch, littered with old fast food wrappers from whatever vagrant had last stayed here. The two chairs the doctor and I had just been sitting in were mismatching, ragged excuses for chairs. I glanced over and the fireplace was boarded up. It looked to have been that way for some time.

I tore through the house looking for any sign of the doctor or Bella. Other than the living room and the kitchen, there was nothing in this house. I could find nothing to indicate that someone actually lived here. There was no other furniture anywhere, no bed, no clothing, not even as much as a toothbrush. No one was here. No one had ever been here, it seemed. The place was deserted.

I collapsed in confusion, combing back through every moment, every conversation. How had this happened? How had this woman come into our lives and then left like a ghost?

I had to get back to the house and tell the others. This woman, whoever or whatever she was, had to be involved in what was happening to Bella. Alice met me at the door as I rushed toward the house.

"What happened? I was watching your future and then you were just gone!" she exclaimed.

"I don't doubt it." I said, walking past her and into the house. "Come with me. Where is everyone?"

"They are in the den, waiting." Alice said.

My family stood as I entered the room. Renesmee was still in bed, but Carlisle, Esme, Rosalie, Emmett, Jasper, and then Alice were all gathered to hear.

"Alice said she couldn't see you. Were you with one of the pack members?" Carlisle asked.

"No. I was with Dr. Peruro. But I don't think she's really a doctor…or human." I admitted.

"How can that be?" Carlisle asked. "I've met her. She wasn't a vampire or a shape shifter or werewolf. What else could she be, besides human?"

"I don't know. You say you met her, talked to her, did anything seem off to you?" I questioned.

"Of course not. I never would have recommended her if there was even a question in my mind about her." Carlisle insisted.

"That's what I was afraid of." I muttered. "She fooled you. Me too. And Bella. A great many more people as well, I would imagine."

"I'll look into it." Jasper vowed. Jasper had extensive connections in the world of false identities and documents. They were good connections to have when we needed to move around to avoid detection and suspicion.

"How could this happen?" Rosalie demanded.

"Who or what could she be, and what would she want with Bella?" Emmett wondered.

"I'm not sure, but I do know that I can't see her, and I couldn't see Edward when he was with her, and I still cannot see Bella." Alice said.

"Do you think they could still be nearby?" Jasper asked.

"I don't know." Alice whispered.

"If she has Bella, then we have to find her." Esme said.

"But how?" I asked with frustration. "We don't know who this doctor really is, and more to the point, Alice can't see her. How do we find something we can't see?"

Everyone was silent.

"Maybe we should consider asking for help." Esme suggested.

"Who could help us?" I asked. "The tribe is mourning Sam, and even if they weren't, how willing do you think they would be to help find Bella without killing her?"

"Edward, you know Jacob wouldn't allow the pack to hurt Bella." Carlisle said.

"Regardless, Peruro has powers that block Alice from seeing her." I argued. "She was able to trick me into seeing a beautiful living room in her house when it was actually in shambles. But what scares me more is that she was able to make Bella see it as well. She was able to get past Bella's shield. We felt at ease with her. It wasn't until the end that her façade cracked. But the more I think about it, the more I think that maybe she wanted me to know she was a fraud."

"If she was doing so well at fooling you, then why would she throw that away to expose her true self?" asked Carlisle.

"To taunt me, maybe. To let me know she has Bella." I guessed.

"Do we know anyone that can help?" asked Rosalie.

I shook my head. "How can we possibly drag anyone else into this when we don't even know what we are up against?"

"We need more information." Carlisle said. "Jasper will look into Peruro. We will keep searching the area to make sure Bella's not here. Let's wait until after Sam's funeral to decide if we should raise any kind of alarms within the ranks of our kind. We don't want to draw the attention of the Volturi."

I went out and searched. My family would join me at times, but no matter where we looked, there was no sign of Bella. I got so lost in searching that I lost track of time until Alice called me back from the mind-numbing search.

"Edward, you need to come home. Renesmee needs you." was all she said. By her tone I could tell it wasn't an imminent emergency, but I headed home just the same.

I heard Esme speaking to Renesmee in the kitchen as I entered.

"Renesmee, honey, you should go." Esme urged.

"The pack hates me." Renesmee declared. "Maybe I should stay away."

"They're hurting. It doesn't excuse anything, but it will pass. They just need time. But you can't let that keep you from being there for Jacob and Seth. We can go with you." Carlisle said.

"I would go with you." I said. They all turned to look at me. Renesmee was silent for a long while, but I could hear the turmoil in her mind as she considered her options.

"No." she finally answered. "I think that would be too much for them. I'll go on my own. I owe it to Sam to be there, and Seth and Jacob. The others will just have to feel however they are going to feel. I just hope Emily isn't upset with me being there."

I saw in Renesmee's mind that while I had been out searching for Bella, Renesmee went to see Emily to give her condolences about Sam. Leah had turned her away. Jacob had wanted to order Leah to stand aside, but Emily said herself that she didn't want to see Renesmee. It was too painful. This broke Renesmee's heart, but she respected Emily's wishes and left her alone. I wish she had waited for me to go with her. Not that I could have done anything, but at least she wouldn't have had to drive home alone.

Leah had argued that Bella should at the very least go to jail for what she had done if Jacob wouldn't allow anyone to kill her, but Dagny had shut that down. In the end, nothing was done because Jacob would not allow it. He had taken the rest of Sam's pack in as his own and, not wanting to be a lone wolf, Leah had begrudgingly joined with Jacob as well. This meant she had to obey the commands that Jacob dictated, but she hated it, and she made it painfully obvious.

Knowing Leah would likely kill Bella if she found her, Jacob forbade Leah to search for Bella and commanded Leah to run if she came across her.

This, of course, put Seth in an awkward position as well, not only with Leah but with other members of the pack. Everyone knew that Jacob and Seth were competing for Renesmee's attention and they were very unhappy about it. It was one thing when Jacob had been in love with Bella and was fighting me for her affection. At least then they knew whose side to be on even if they weren't happy about the fight.

But now two of their own were fighting over someone who wasn't even human and it was almost too much for them to bear. Since they couldn't take it out on Renesmee, they aimed their dislike at the Cullen family in general, taking their lead from Leah.

Even though Renesmee would be the only one from our family attending Sam's funeral the next day, even that was a razor thin line with some of the members of the pack. When they looked at her, they saw the woman that had murdered one of their own. It wasn't fair to Renesmee by any means, but the pack couldn't help how they felt.

I wanted so desperately to shelter Renesmee from this fallout, but I couldn't. I couldn't help Bella or Renesmee. I couldn't help anyone. Not even myself.

* **************CHAPTER END*****************


	23. Saying Goodbye

CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE

SAYING GOODBYE

Renesmee left early the day of Sam's funeral to spend time with Jacob and Seth before the ceremony. Once she had left, Jasper came to me.

"Whoever Peruro is, she's good. Her degree and license are real. She attended all of the classes for her degrees and completed all of the hours for the license, as far as anyone can tell, but she is not who she says she is. Her birth certificate and high school transcripts are fake. Thorough, but fake nonetheless." Jasper said.

"I guess we shouldn't be surprised. We've managed the same thing before." I said.

"Not like this." Jasper argued. "She has extensive active contacts going back years. She actually networks in the human world."

Investigating the doctor helped to take my mind off of Bella momentarily, but it was hard to function in her absence. I was so worried about her that I forgot about almost everything else. I did not realize that I had been sitting on the couch the majority of the day contemplating Peruro and her machinations until I heard Jacob and Renesmee come through the front door.

"Jacob, this is ridiculous! You just left Seth back there with no explanation! What is going on? Why won't you talk to me?" Renesmee demanded, following Jacob through the house as he located me.

"What's going on here?" I asked.

"Jacob freaked out at Sam's funeral, but he won't tell me what's going on." Renesmee accused.

Ignoring Renesmee's outburst, Jacob said, "Edward, I need to talk to you. Alone."

"No! I have a right to know what is going on here!" Renesmee screamed.

Alice appeared then and put her arm around Renesmee. "Let's give the boys a minute, Renesmee." she said with a glance in my direction. She doesn't need to hear what's coming.

"Alice…" Renesmee began, but Alice cut her off.

"Please trust me, Renesmee. Come on. You'll know soon enough." Alice assured her.

Renesmee allowed herself to be lead from the room with great reluctance.

"What is it?" I asked Jacob, afraid of what his answer would be.

"I didn't want to say this in front of Renesmee because I'm not sure exactly what happened…" Jacob paused.

"Spit it out, Jake." I growled.

"I think Bella was at Sam's funeral." he blurted out, almost shocked by his own words.

"You saw her?" I whispered.

"No, I smelled her. At least I think it was her. I can't be sure. She smelled…off…somehow." Jacob admitted.

"Where was this?" I asked.

"On the reservation, near the ceremonial plaza. I wanted to follow the scent, but I had disrupted Sam's funeral and Renesmee was screaming at me, and I was afraid that Leah…" Jacob shook his head and ran a hand through his hair. "I told Seth to stay and Renesmee and I came here to get you."

"And you didn't tell any of this to Renesmee?" I asked with surprise.

"She came close to really demanding it, but I begged her not to. I didn't want to get her hopes up. I didn't see Bella, but I would swear she was there."

"Show me. Take me there." I said. Jacob nodded and we headed back out to the car to go back to the reservation. When we got outside, we were faced with an unexpected sight.

While the pack's laws required that no one hurt Renesmee since Jacob had imprinted on her, there was no law saying they had to like her or even be nice to her. They didn't have to say it out loud in order to make it known that they did not appreciate her presence on their reservation, so she and Jacob spent a great deal of their time either at the cottage or the main house.

Jacob could have ordered them to be nicer, but Renesmee forbade it. She insisted that they deserved to grieve how they saw fit and if that meant hating her then she would take it.

Because of this animosity, and the fact that she had explicitly said she didn't want to see her, we were surprised when Emily showed up at the house after Sam's funeral looking for Renesmee.

Jacob's and my first thoughts were that she had come to hurt Renesmee, but I saw nothing like that in her mind. There was just sadness and a desperate desire to connect with someone. I told Jacob as much when he stood like a wall in front of Renesmee who had come outside when she heard a car pull up.

"I'm not here to hurt anybody." Emily said, her voice heavy with exhaustion and sorrow. "I just want to talk with Renesmee. That's all." Emily looked at Jacob, her eyes swollen and red from endless hours of sobbing.

I nodded at Jacob, letting him know it was safe. He turned to Renesmee. "You don't have to do this if you don't want to." he said, glancing nervously at Emily.

"I know that. But I want to. Her parents are stuck on that cruise ship to Hawaii and Leah is so angry right now. If Emily wants to talk to me then it's the least I can do." Renesmee said. Jacob nodded and stepped aside.

Renesmee walked up to Emily and they looked at each other. Emily glanced down, the tears welling in her eyes. Renesmee touched her cheek and showed her a vision of the two of them hugging. Emily nodded, and Renesmee embraced her. She put her arms around Renesmee and Jacob and I held our breaths until the two separated and Renesmee said, "Let's go down to the river. They are going to eavesdrop on us, but at least we will have the river to distract us while we talk."

Emily nodded and they headed to the river. Inside her mind, Emily suffered greatly without Sam. Its physical manifestations were obvious as well. She looked incredibly sick and frail. Her normally satiny copper skin was ashen and dry, pulled tight over a shrinking body mass and an emerging skeletal system. How had this happened in just a few days?

"I'm sorry that I have been avoiding you, Renesmee." Emily apologized.

"I understand, Emily, I really do. I'm not mad, I'm just so incredibly sad for you." Renesmee said.

"For both of us." Emily corrected and Renesmee nodded. Emily picked at her fingernails and shifted from one foot to the other.

"What do you want to tell me, Emily?" Renesmee asked, sensing Emily's hesitation.

"I see the concern on your face. I know I look like hell; more than I rightfully should." Emily sighed and thought carefully before beginning. "When Sam imprinted on me, it didn't have any effect on me at first. I didn't even know it had happened. But it slips into your life. Slowly you start to become aware of it. At first it's curious, something new and unexpected, almost exciting. But then it becomes more and more intense, and you start to wonder if it's okay.

Suddenly it's all-consuming. It's all you can think about. It takes over every corner of your life. And at some point you realize you're kind of a prisoner. You may want to escape, but you don't know how. This person is totally devoted to you through no doing of your own. There comes a moment when you step back and think 'Maybe I don't want this.' You try to fight back, but that just seems to make things worse. So you play along, thinking you'll be able to find a way out. But you can't. You can't get away from it until it's done with you." she said, looking into Renesmee's eyes before continuing.

"But here's the thing, when it's gone, you miss it. You miss the intensity. You miss the sense of purpose. And once you've experienced it, nothing is ever the same again. You can't go back to the regular way of things. The more time you spend as an imprintee, the more tied you are to that person. When they die, it hurts you more than the death of anyone else. The tribe did not know about this because imprintees usually died before the ones that imprinted, and it's been so long since this has been at work in the tribe. But they know now. I mean, look at me. This isn't normal."

"Why are you telling me this, Emily?" Renesmee asked.

"I want you to know what many may not acknowledge. There is a choice. There is always a choice. Nothing is set in stone and you can always change your mind." Emily's words echoing Charlie's last to Renesmee.

"I still don't understand." Renesmee said.

"I know. But promise me you will remember." Emily said softly.

"Okay, I will, but, Emily, you look like you need to sit. Are you okay?" Renesmee asked.

"You know what I miss most?" Emily said wistfully, swaying slightly before Renesmee caught her arm. "Having someone to hold me. Will you hold me Renesmee, for a little while? I just need to rest."

"Of course." Renesmee said. She sat down in the grass with her legs out in front of her and opened her arms and Emily laid her head in Renesmee's lap as Renesmee sat and ran her fingers through Emily's hair to relax her.

As Renesmee and Emily sat together, I could hear the despair in Emily's mind. She was broken without Sam. Her mind was unraveling. I looked at Renesmee and then looked at Jacob. This could be my daughter some day. Someday, Jacob could die, and Renesmee would be broken like this. How could I allow that? But if I was being honest with myself, how could I honestly expect to stop it?

I realized that Emily's pain felt a great deal like my own. I suffered so acutely with Bella gone. It echoed in every fiber of my being and colored every moment of my existence. The other swing of the pendulum of great love is pain. Could I really expect to keep time still for Renesmee and deny her love in order to keep her from pain?

Jacob was right. We couldn't keep her from the world. And I had to admit, if Renesmee was to end up with anyone, I would prefer it to be Jacob. I could no longer deny the fact that the ill will I still carried for him was a measure of my inability to change and not of him as a man. The fact that he stood up to me time and again was what made him perfect for Renesmee. He would always put her first, to the exclusion of all else. As much as I cared for Seth, and though he was a good man, maybe even better for Renesmee in some ways, I knew he would never love Renesmee the way Jacob did.

"Jacob, you have to tell her." I said.

Jacob looked at me, confused, then realizing what I meant said, "What?" a little too loud before covering his mouth and then looking at me and saying from his mind, "Are you insane? You heard what Em just told her! She probably thinks imprinting is something horrible after that. If I tell her now she'll hate me!"

I lowered my voice as much as I could so that Renesmee would not hear. "Jacob, you have to stop being afraid. You have to trust her. You cannot truly love her until you trust her, and she deserves the greatest love possible. More to the point, how can she really make a choice if she doesn't know the truth?"

Jacob looked at me with a shocked expression and raged at me silently. "The truth? Are you serious, man? The truth is that we have been lying to her since the day she was born. She thinks I imprinted on Bella. She has spent her whole life thinking that. How do you think she will react when we tell her that we, hell, that everyone, has been lying to her all along and I have really been imprinted on her instead? How does that possibly go well for anyone?"

"If you don't say something, you may lose your chance to someone else." I whispered, thinking of Seth.

Jacob caught my meaning as his face went sickly pale at the thought. I could hear his heart racing as his breathing increased and he fought back the tears welling in his eyes.

I was so focused on Jacob that I froze as I realized that something had changed in my perception. Something sounded different. I couldn't place it until Renesmee screamed. "Jacob!"

Jacob and I ran to Renesmee and she wept, "Something's wrong! Jacob! I was sitting here playing with her hair and listening to her heartbeat and the running of the river and then I realized all of a sudden that her pulse changed, and now she won't wake up!"

Renesmee was right, but it was worse than she realized. In the symphony of the noises of the woods along with the heartbeats and thoughts of the living, the music had changed when Emily was no longer a part of the song. Her heart was beating, and her body was breathing, but her mind was quiet. Empty.

I had been around coma patients before when I had assisted Carlisle long ago. While their mental activity was always fleeting or scattered, it was there if they were there. I looked over Emily as Jacob saw to Renesmee. Despite the functioning of her body, the part of her that had been Emily had indeed passed. And though her body had been ravaged by sorrow, she at last seemed to be resting in peace.

Carlisle came to the field to check Emily. I had

Jacob guide Renesmee beyond hearing distance and relayed to Carlisle what I had deduced. He nodded and checked Emily's involuntary reflexes. He looked to me and thought "I think you are right, Edward. How much more tragedy can we take?"

I had no answer for Carlisle. I had been wondering that same thing for a while now.

"What should we do, Carlisle?" Jacob called.

"We should call an ambulance." Carlisle said.

"And tell them what?" Renesmee said, coming closer, but trying not to look at Emily.

"Will a hospital be able to help her, Carlisle?" Jacob asked. "The truth, Carlisle."

"I can't say for sure." Carlisle said, looking at me and then down at Emily.

"Well, let's get her to the hospital." Jacob said, bending down and lifting Emily with ease, and then turning back toward the house and the garage. Carlisle headed back to the house behind Jacob, his head bowed in thought. I put my arm around Renesmee as she cried, and we followed them to the garage. We piled into the Tesla to take Emily to the hospital.

Our family was standing outside of Emily's hospital room when the pack members arrived at the hospital. The pack was still dressed for Sam's funeral. The tragedy of this fact was not lost on any of us, but especially so for Renesmee as she began to cry harder upon seeing the juxtaposition of their fine dress and somber expressions.

Seth went to Renesmee and put his arms around her despite Leah's burning glare at his actions. Leah stepped forward and leaned in toward Renesmee and said, "You are going to stay away from Emily, do you hear me?" Leah looked to my family and said, "All of you will."

Renesmee recoiled from Leah's quietly forceful demand and Seth turned to face his sister, blocking Leah from seeing Renesmee.

"Back off, Leah." Seth whispered in his sister's face.

"And she is getting a new doctor too." Leah turned to Carlisle and spat, ignoring Seth.

"Leah, you need to calm down and remember where you are." Jacob said.

"Ha! I seem to be the only one who sees exactly where we are, Jacob." Leah said.

"Don't start, Leah." Jacob warned.

Leah fought Jacob's hold over her with every ounce of strength. Here she stood, her mother a wreck after losing Charlie, Sam dead by Bella's hand, her cousin Emily on death's door because of the loss of Sam, her brother Seth in love with Renesmee, and her alpha in love with her too. Leah looked at us all and realized that for years our family had come in and decimated everything she held dear. And Jacob had allowed it. He had let it in. He had opened wide the door, and we had trampled in and destroyed it all. Leah felt the despair flow through her veins and she did the only thing she could think of to stop the pain.

"No, Jacob, I won't start, because I'm done. With you, with all of this. I would rather be alone than take another order from you to protect these leeches. You, Jacob Black, are not my alpha. I renounce you. I am no longer a member of your pack." Leah said, gasping, tears slipping from her eyes as the bond between her and Jacob snapped and Leah felt the ache of no longer being a pack member.

The look of shock and pain on Jacob's face was quickly replaced with anger when Leah continued, "And you better hope that I never find Bella, because your orders mean nothing to me now. I will tear her apart, which, if we're being honest, is way better than she deserves."

Leah opened the door to Emily's room and went inside, shutting it behind her. Everyone stood silently and, unable to think of anything else to say, Dagny whispered, "I'm sorry." before he followed Leah into Emily's room.

Jacob looked to the rest of the pack standing uncomfortably in the hall. "You agree with her, hmmm? Are you going to leave too?" Jacob accused.

Paul spoke up carefully, glancing at the members of the Cullen family, and said to Jacob, "Our kinds are natural enemies, man. We've fought it for years, but maybe it's time to admit that being friends with the Cullens isn't what's best for us. How many more of us have to die for you to see that?"

Renesmee walked off down the hall and paused to lean against the wall as her sobs overcame her. Seth went to her and embraced her. I walked over as well to lay my hand on her back when I heard Jacob whisper, "You know I can't just abandon Renesmee."

Jared replied, "I know, Jacob, but something's gotta give, man." All of the faces of the pack members seemed to echo this sentiment as they walked away down the hall in the opposite direction of where I stood with Seth and Renesmee.

"We will go back to the house, Edward. Let us know if you need anything." came Esme's voice in my head as she ushered our family down the hall past us.

Renesmee, Jacob, Seth and I were left in the hall with Carlisle.

"Emily's parents should be in tomorrow. They had to get special permission to leave the cruise ship to catch a plane back from Hawaii." Carlisle said. He walked up to Renesmee and caressed her hair as Seth held her. "I am so sorry, Renesmee." Renesmee did not answer, so Carlisle nodded and then went down the hall to go back to his rounds.

"We should go home. There is nothing more for us to do here." I said.

Jacob turned to Renesmee, who had her face buried in Seth's chest, and said, "Do you want to leave, or do you want to stay with Emily?"

"I don't want any more fighting, Jacob." Renesmee muttered.

"It's going to be okay." Seth said softly as he held Renesmee tighter.

I could hear the rage and jealousy building in Jacob. He couldn't just tear Renesmee from Seth's arms, and he did seem to have a calming effect on her. Unable to bear looking at the two of them any longer, Jacob turned and strode toward the exit door to the hospital. He might not be able to stop it from happening, but he surely didn't have to stand there and stare at it either.

Renesmee sensed Jacob's exit and she stepped away from Seth so that he would release her. "Stay here with Emily and your sister."

"But Renesmee…" Seth began, putting his hand on her cheek.

She covered his hand with hers. "Seth, your sister and your cousin need you to be here. I'll be fine. Really. I will catch you later, okay?" Renesmee insisted, pulling his hand away, kissing his cheek, and hurrying after Jacob, who had just burst through the door at the end of the hall.

Seth looked at me with sad eyes and said, "I'll never win, will I? It will always be Jacob." he said as his gaze fell and his shoulders hunched slightly.

"Seth, it's not a game. She is not a prize to be won or lost. Instead of trying to beat Jacob, maybe you should focus on being the best person you can be. If that person is who Renesmee wants, then she will choose you. But even if she doesn't choose you, life will go on." I said. Seth nodded and entered Emily's room.

I walked down the hall and exited to follow Jacob and Renesmee. As I came out the door, they stopped talking to look at me.

I looked at them and said, "Take your time. We will wait for you at the house." Jacob nodded at me and turned his attention to Renesmee. I walked around the corner of the building to go to the area of the parking lot where my car was parked, fully intending to give them privacy, but the father in me could not fight the urge to stay at hand.

Jacob put his hand on Renesmee's shoulder and she turned to him with tears in her eyes. "How has it come to this, Jacob? My mom is gone, my dad is a mess, Sam is dead, and Emily…" she paused, sniffing, before continuing in a broken voice. "and your pack is in tatters. There is just so much pain and anger here now. So much lost." Renesmee wept.

Jacob put his arms around Renesmee and said, "The pack will be okay. We need time to heal. In the end, we are all a family. You are a part of that family too, Nessie. And your mom? Your mom loves you, Renesmee, and she loves your dad. She will find her way back to you both. She's always been stubborn and independent, but eventually she will figure things out. She always does. And when she does, your dad will get better too. I know it's hard to see now, but things will get better. You can't give up."

"I just feel so empty." Renesmee whispered.

"I'm here." Jacob said.

"I know, but for how long? I used to think I had the perfect life and things would always be good. How naïve that was, right? Nothing is forever, not my parents, not my friends, not even you, I bet." she said solemnly.

"Please know that I'm here for you, Nessie. I always have been and I always will be." Jacob insisted.

"I don't know what I ever did to deserve you. You have always been there for me, Jacob." Renesmee sniffed, then took a deep breath and said, "But maybe Leah and Paul are right."

"What?" Jacob whispered, dumbfounded by the statement.

"It kills me to think of any of you being hurt, especially you and Seth. I don't want to see Seth lose his sister. And I don't want to see you lose your pack. Your people have known so much pain trying to protect my family because of your bond with my mother. How is that fair? How is that right?" Renesmee said with increasing volume.

"Renesmee, hang on now…" Jacob tried to reason.

"No, Jake, listen, you all have risked your lives time and again. Some of you out of love, and some of you out of loyalty. But we must have been enemies in the beginning for a reason. Not my family and your people, but your people and people like my family. Maybe we are fighting nature. Maybe this whole thing," she gestured between her and Jacob, "Maybe it's all unnatural and we should just stop hurting each other. I know my mom isn't here to order you away, but I would hope that after all of this time, you would love me enough on your own to be able to find a way to respect my wishes."

Jacob was speechless. This was not how he thought this would go. "Nessie, please, don't do this." If Renesmee told him to leave her, told him to take care of his pack and never see her again, he would have to do it. His bond would compel him to do so, whether or not Renesmee knew the truth.

"I care about all of you, and my family. I can't bear to see any of you hurt anymore. We need to stop fighting what is." Renesmee said. "You have always been there for me. And maybe that needs to end, for the sake of your people."

Jacob looked toward where I had turned the corner and thought "I hope Edward is right."

"There is actually a reason why I have always been there for you, Renesmee." Jacob said, almost choking on the words as they stumbled out of his mouth.

Renesmee stepped back and looked away from Jacob, a hint of jealousy blooming in the back of her mind. "I know. Because you've loved my mom since you and she were children and you imprinted on her and you want to protect me for her."

"Renesmee, there's more to it than that." Jacob shifted uncomfortably before beginning again. "Things changed between your mother and me when you were born. Your mother will always be special to me, but once you were born, the first time I looked in your eyes, my whole existence changed. I found my purpose the day you were born."

Renesmee stood waiting for Jacob to continue, but when he did not, she replayed his words in her mind. The furrow of confusion that had pulled at her brow rose into shock as the realization of Jacob's words dawned on her face. She finally understood. The secret was a secret no more.

"Jacob…did you…imprint on me?" Renesmee whispered.

"Yes." Jacob breathed, gasping at the simultaneous relief and terror of finally speaking the truth.

She considered this news carefully. In her mind I saw her replaying her life in quick succession, analyzing her interactions with Jacob as well as my treatment of him.

"How is this possible? I didn't know you could imprint on two people at once." Renesmee said.

"It's not possible to imprint on two people at once. We can only imprint on one person." Jacob admitted.

"Wait, so…" Renesmee's heart began to race as she attempted to untangle this news in her mind. "…if you are imprinted on me…and you can only imprint on one person, then…you never imprinted on my mother?"

Jacob nodded, as he braced himself for her response.

Renesmee bowed her head, closing her eyes and drawing ragged breaths as she processed this revelation.

"You lied to me! All of you…my entire life." Renesmee gasped as tears fell from her eyes and she began to sway on her feet as if she'd faint.

Jacob reached out to steady her, and she pulled away, glaring at him.

Renesmee thought about the things that Emily had told her about her own experience, and the fact that Jacob had been lying to her all along, and she stepped back from Jacob, as if she was finally seeing him for the first time and had no idea who he was. She realized something else. "When I was a baby?" Renesmee recoiled further.

"Renesmee, please, let me explain…" Jacob began.

"What is there to explain, Jacob? I was a baby! You fell in love with a baby! That is so…" Renesmee shuddered.

"Imprinting is not about sex, okay? I wish people would stop thinking that." Jacob said with a frustrated roar. "Look at Quil and Claire! There's nothing sinister about that, right?"

Renesmee jumped back from Jacob, startled at his outburst, but she would not waiver. "That may be so, but still," Renesmee said. "Emily told me what it was like to have Sam imprint on her and I don't know if I want all that."

"Look, do you remember at the barbeque, when you and Emily and Leah were talking about imprinting and I said then that imprinting was more about souls than storybook romance? Well, it's true. Everyone's journey is different. Sam and Emily had a rough go for many reasons, but that doesn't have to be us.

You always have a choice, Renesmee. No one can take that from you. Not me, not even the imprinting. You can choose how you want this to be. But you must know that my feelings for you, Renesmee, have grown and matured as you have grown and matured. When you were born, when I saw you, I felt everything in me change. I wanted to protect you like a parent protects a child, because that is what you needed. As you got older, you saw me differently, and I became your friend, because that is what you wanted. And it had stayed that way until..." Jacob paused.

"When?" Renesmee asked. "When did you come to see me differently?"

"I was only able to see you differently the moment you saw me differently." Jacob said. "Don't deny it, Renesmee. I saw it. I felt it.

When we were in Ireland and I was hanging off the edge of that cliff, I saw the change in your eyes. I saw you trying to picture your life without me. I saw you realize what you would be losing if you let me go…if you lost me. I felt your feelings change. That's when I knew. And that's when everything shifted again. You confirmed those feelings when you showed me those visions while Edward was setting my ankle. Ever since then I feel the difference grow more every day. I see how you've looked at me. I can feel how your feelings are different."

"But I thought you said imprinting isn't about sex." Renesmee blurted out. They both blushed, realizing that Renesmee had just admitted to having romantic thoughts about Jacob. I felt like I was going to be sick. Vampires do not vomit involuntarily, but I was beginning to fear that I might become the exception, despite having nothing in my stomach.

"Imprinting is about love, Renesmee. Devotion. It is about knowing each other, inside and out, and having complete confidence in your place in the other person's existence. And that's how you should feel about someone before you are intimate with them, right? So you can see how the two end up being smashed together as one thing, but they aren't." Jacob took a step toward Renesmee, but she backed away from him.

"Renesmee," Jacob begged. "I think you are the most beautiful person in the world, inside and out. You are smart, funny, kind, and caring. You are fierce and loyal and fair. Yes, you have physical beauty, but plenty of people can be pretty on the outside. What I love is inside of you. Who you are, and who you will be. The things I love most about you cannot be seen, only felt."

"Stop! Just stop! Don't talk about loving me. You lied!" Renesmee yelled.

"Please, Renesmee, can you forgive me?" Jacob whispered.

Renesmee turned away from Jacob. His face crumpled in agony at the rejection.

"I'm sorry, Jacob. I need time. I know you are bound to me, and I want to respect that. I don't want to give you false hope, because the truth is, I don't know what I want right now. I can't know what I want right now. I feel like my heart is being torn into little pieces." Renesmee said.

"I am so sorry, Nessie. If I could go back and change things I would. I never meant to hurt you. I know that you are angry with me, and I have no right to ask for favors, but may I ask one thing?" Jacob asked.

Renesmee turned to look at him with her arms crossed "You can ask." she said.

"Please don't be angry at your parents." Jacob pleaded. "I asked them, I asked everyone, to lie to you. It was my idea. I was afraid that if you knew about the imprint, you would think you had no choice in being with me. I wanted you to be able to love freely, without worrying about the fact that I am bound to you and could never love anyone else. I wanted you to love me for me and not for my being bound to you."

"Oh, Jacob!" Renesmee whispered at his admission.

"Don't." Jacob said with determination. "Don't do that. Do not pity me."

Renesmee recoiled at Jacob's demand. "Fine. I won't pity you. But you can't ask me not to be angry with everyone else for lying to me. They made their choices, so they are all responsible in the parts they have played in this deception."

"We were just trying to protect you, Nessie!" Jacob insisted.

"Since when does lying to someone ever really protect them, Jacob Black!" Renesmee shrieked. "My dad tried to do that to my mom when she was human and you fought him on it! You! You said she deserved to know the truth, so, what? I didn't? I didn't deserve to know that you are bound to me? Why? Because you wanted a fighting chance at having me as more than a friend sometime in the future? That sounds pretty selfish to me, Jake!"

"You can't stand there and say that you don't have feelings for me." Jacob shot back at her.

"Oh I have some feelings for you right now, Jacob, but I'm pretty sure you wouldn't like any of them." she retorted.

The exit door to the hospital opened and I heard Seth say with concern, "What's going on here?"

"None of your business! Go back to your sister." Jacob snarled.

"Renesmee, what's wrong?" Seth asked.

"She knows." Jacob spat.

"Please, Renesmee…"

"Don't, Seth, I can't…"

"I had no choice, Renesmee. Jacob ordered me not to tell you. I couldn't."

"Yes, you could have. Your sister just proved that. You had a choice, and you made it. I should tell you both to go to hell." Renesmee spat.

Considering Jacob's imprint, there was no telling what that command could lead to if Renesmee ordered it. Even if she meant it in that moment, I knew she would never forgive herself if Jacob hurt himself because of her.

"Renesmee!" I shouted as I came around the corner.

"And of course you're here too! A trifecta of liars! If only mom were here, we could have a real party then!" Renesmee shouted, panting.

"Renesmee, you don't want to do this." I said.

"Don't you dare try to manipulate me. Any of you! You all lied to me. What else have you lied about?" she gave a short, angry laugh and shook her head. "I should have known. You lied to Charlie, and Renee, and so many countless others. Why should I be any different, right?" Renesmee rambled. She roared in anguish and as she screamed, I heard something from her mind that froze me to my core: the sound of a low hum.

No, God no, not her too! I can't lose her like I lost Bella. She can't lose her mind too! I thought in desperation. But even as I thought it, I heard it echoed back to me in Renesmee's mind. She could hear my thoughts! Renesmee's realization of this fact derailed her rage.

"No!" she whispered.

"What's happening?" I heard Jacob's voice echo in my head from my own perception and Renesmee's, and then again as Renesmee heard my own mind, creating an almost unbearable echo of thoughts.

"Stop! What is this?" Renesmee screamed, her palms on her temples, pressing on her head, trying to push out the thoughts. Seth and Jacob's thoughts were echoing between us and it was driving her mad. I had to get her out of there before things got worse. But we were standing outside of the hospital and though there was no one immediately visible, I couldn't just take off with her. If anyone saw, it would be yet another problem to have to deal with in an avalanche of tragedy and turmoil.

Order them away, Renesmee. It's the only way they will leave. You need quiet right now. I said to her, hoping she would hear me above the cacophony of the voices bouncing between us.

She looked to me with tears in her eyes and said, "What's happening to me, Daddy?"

This question only brought forth the flood of vocal and mental concern from Jacob and Seth, drowning out even her own thoughts until she screamed, "Enough! Both of you, leave! Now!"

Jacob stopped immediately, and Seth paused not long after. They looked as if they wanted to argue, but before they could, Renesmee looked at Jacob and said, "Jacob, I demand that you order Seth to leave and go back to his sister, and then you both will stay away from me until further notice. Do you understand?" she gasped, trying to block out the hurt and confusion from both men.

"Yes." Jacob said stiffly as he turned to Seth.

"Jake, no, please." Seth begged, stepping back and putting his hands up as if to ward off a physical assault.

"I'm sorry, Seth." Jacob whispered. He used his alpha tone to order Seth. "You will go be with your sister, now, and you will stay away from Renesmee until further notice."

Seth wept as he stumbled back into the hospital, fighting every step. Jacob turned to Renesmee and nodded, and then ran through the parking lot and down the road.

"Let's go home, Renesmee." I said, as I reached out to her.

"Make it stop. Please, make it stop." she gasped as she stumbled to me and threw her arms around me, burying her face in my chest. We walked to the car and I drove home as quickly as I could without drawing attention.

I parked the car in front of the house. I lifted Renesmee from the passenger seat and ran her out to the cottage. No one would be there for her to hear. I did my best to keep my thoughts neutral and to block out my reading of her thoughts which caused the unbearable echo in both of our minds.

I set her down outside the front door and unlocked it for her. Renesmee went inside and flopped down on the couch and put her head in her hands. She rocked back and forth trying to settle her mind.

I reached out carefully to Renesmee's mind. I heard the faint pulsing in her consciousness, but I immediately pulled back when she winced at the echo of my intrusion.

She looked at me and asked, "What's happening to me?"

"I don't know, Renesmee." I said as I sat next to her and put my arm around her. "But we will get through it." She leaned into me and I kissed the top of her head.

"I'm scared." Renesmee confessed. "I can hear the fear in your mind, like static on the radio. I can tell you're trying not to think. How do you shut it off? How do you keep from hearing?"

"I don't really know. I've been able to do it for so long that I rarely think about it." I said. "Try focusing on something else."

"Like what?" Renesmee asked.

"Hold on a moment." I said as I went to the fireplace. I put in a few logs and kindling and started a fire. "Watch the flames. Let go of everything else. Watch them dance. Push all thought from your mind. Breathe deep, in and out."

We sat there for a while with Renesmee breathing and concentrating on the fire, and me trying to keep my mind as empty as possible.

"It's gone." Renesmee whispered finally. "It's quiet again." She smiled up at me with relief.

"Good. That's good." I said, smiling back.

"What if it comes back?" she asked, her smile fading at the thought.

"Renesmee, I know what you experienced today was frightening, but if it comes back then you can learn how to control it." I assured her.

Renesmee nodded. "I'm going to go to bed. Will you stay here with me."

"Of course. I'll be here if you need me." I said. "I'm still upset with you for lying to me." she added.

"I know. But we can talk about it later. I love you, Renesmee. Go rest." I said. "I love you."

"I love you too, Dad." she whispered as she went down the hall to her room.

I waited for Renesmee to wake, and when she was sure that her mind was still her own, we went up to the main house.

"Is everything okay?" Esme asked, looking over Renesmee as we walked into the den.

"Yes, I'm okay." Renesmee said.

A car pulled up outside of the house. I glanced out the window and recognized it as the SUV belonging to Sue Clearwater. She walked up to the front door and rang the bell.

Carlisle answered. "Hello, Sue. What can we do for you?"

"Hello, Carlisle. I'm sorry to stop by unannounced but I wasn't sure if I was actually going to come. Seth asked me to come here, to talk to Renesmee." Sue admitted.

"I'm sorry Sue, but I don't think Renesmee is up for visitors right now." Carlisle said.

"I know. She's been through so much. But Seth is really worried about her. He's sick with it, to be honest, and he would feel better if I could tell him I saw her and she was fine." Sue said in a rush.

Carlisle must have had a look on his face to rebut her request because she said in a shaky, cracked voice, "Please, Carlisle. Just a minute. I just need to see her. I can't bear to see Seth like this. He won't eat, he won't sleep. He just lies in bed staring off into space."

Sue's voice broke as she began to cry thinking of Seth. I saw him in her mind and he looked like abject hell.

"I told him I was going to have Jacob order him out of bed and he said if I did that he would reject Jacob as his alpha and be a lone wolf. I can't have two of them like that, Carlisle. It's hard enough with Leah now…" Sue could not continue as the sobs racked her body.

"Carlisle, let her in." came Esme's voice. "It's okay, Sue, come here dear. It's alright. Let me get you a glass of water."

Renesmee had heard this exchange as well. I looked to her and said, "You don't have to do this if you don't want to, Renesmee."

"I know. But I feel bad for Sue, and for Seth. I don't want him to hurt, I just can't be around him right now." Renesmee said.

"I understand that, but you have to take care of yourself first and foremost." I insisted.

"It's okay, Dad. I'll talk to her for a bit." she said, getting up from the bed.

We walked to the kitchen and Sue sat on a stool drinking a glass of water. She nearly choked on it when she saw Renesmee. "You're okay." Sue marveled. Carlisle and Esme glanced at us and quickly excused themselves out of the room.

"Yes, I'm fine." Renesmee admitted once they had gone. "So Seth can stop worrying. I would tell him myself, but I don't think I have the willpower to talk to him right now."

"Seth said something happened to you outside of the hospital. He said he didn't know what." Sue said cautiously. When Renesmee didn't immediately offer an explanation, Sue glanced at me with pleading eyes. I had no answer for her so she turned back to Renesmee. "Are you…I mean…what happened to Bella…are you…?" Sue was trying to ask Renesmee if she was going to break like her mother.

"It's not the same thing." I said. "At least, it doesn't seem to be."

"Dad, I've got this." Renesmee said. "I need to talk to her alone, please. I know you are going to eavesdrop, but at least leave the room so that she thinks we are alone."

"Okay then. I'll be in the guest room." I said as I walked away, still listening keenly to the conversation.

"How are you really doing, Renesmee?" Sue asked.

"As good as I could be considering my mom is missing and I just found out that everyone I know has been lying to me my entire life." Renesmee said with biting sarcasm.

"We didn't do it out of spite, Renesmee." Sue said.

"I know, I just wish you all had told me the truth from the beginning, or even at some point, you know? I know you just wanted to protect me, but I feel so betrayed. Like I told Jacob, it's like you thought I wasn't good enough for the truth." Renesmee said.

"You know that's not it at all. Not even close. What we did was wrong, but I think we all know that now." Sue said

"I suppose." Renesmee shrugged. "It just hurts so much that my parents went along with it. They lied to me about something so important."

"It's hard to accept that your parents aren't perfect. Everyone has that moment when they see their parents as fallible for the first time and it sort of kills your innocence. Because, if mom and dad can be wrong and do wrong, then where does that leave you? What do you have left to believe in?" Sue said.

Renesmee nodded.

"Kids don't come with manuals, Renesmee. We do the best we can, and try to let our love guide us to protect our children, and sometimes we fall short. I hope that you can forgive your parents and your family and Jacob and Seth and all of the rest of us. We all love you and we want you to be happy." Sue insisted.

Renesmee looked at Sue, tears falling from her eyes. "I would like to gather everyone. I have something to say."

We called Jacob and Seth and had them come over. They, along with the Cullen family and Sue, gathered in the den.

Renesmee stood in front of the fireplace and addressed everyone gathered. "I want to say thank you to Sue. I'm glad you came. I miss my grandpa so much, and seeing you reminds me of him. I know that everyone, myself included, lied to Charlie for years to protect him. I never questioned that we didn't tell him the truth because I always thought he was better off not knowing. And he was. He didn't need to know any of this. If he had, he would have worried, and for what? There was nothing he could do about the Volturi or about our immortality. There was just no need. We loved him, but he wasn't really a part of this world.

I understand now why you all lied to me. I don't know that I agree with it, and I don't know whether I would have done the same or differently, but that's not the point. Charlie may not have been a part of this world, but I am. Charlie did not need to know any of this, but I needed to know about you, Jacob. About our connection. We cannot survive if we hide things from each other. You all should know that better than anyone."

Everyone had varying shades of guilt coloring their faces as Renesmee continued.

"I want to be angry, but it serves no purpose. It won't change the past and it can only hurt the future. We need each other more than ever now. Mom needs us to be strong for her. So I forgive you, all of you. I know that you love me and I love you. We will move on from this, with truth…always with truth and trust. Agreed?" Renesmee coaxed.

There were nods and agreements all around.

"Good. Now, let's get back to business. How are we going to find my mom?" Renesmee said, clapping her hands together.

"We can always go out and look again." said Emmett. "But if she doesn't want us to find her, we are going to have a hard time."

"I think Peruro has her. She is the key." I said.

"Maybe she doesn't want to be found." Jacob blurted out.

"I know that she ran away to try to protect us, but she needs help. She can't do this alone." I insisted.

"If Peruro has her, then technically she's not alone." said Rosalie.

"We don't know what that woman is or what she wants with Bella." I interjected.

"I know you don't want to hear this, son, but the best course of action might be to wait." Carlisle said.

No sooner had Carlisle finished his sentence than a vibration came rolling through my head, taking me to my knees. Alice, Renesmee, and Jasper all went stiff. Something was happening, more intense than Bella's prior outburst. The force was incredible.

Somehow I knew it was Bella. She was in danger. I had to find her.

***************CHAPTER END*****************


	24. Epilogue

EPILOGUE

STANDING GROUND

I bolted from the house and headed toward the reservation. Jacob had said that he has smelled her there, so that's where I would start. But as I ran, the pain decreased and I knew I was going the wrong way. I had to run toward the pain. I turned and ran back toward the house, but then had to veer off toward the river. I ran away from the house along the river and as I went, the pain increased and my vision blurred.

I found myself wandering the woods of the Olympic Peninsula chasing the source of the pain that threatened to rip my mind to shreds. As I wandered, I came to a clearing. It was small, but it reminded me of our meadow. The pounding in my head came to a crescendo.

I broke. I screamed.

"Bella! Please! I know you are here! Please! I am losing my mind! Please come back! Please!" I screamed into the trees. I wished I could weep. I wished I could have some release of the pain that engulfed me every moment of every day without her. No matter how much I told myself that she would come back, my heart refused to stop breaking. I screamed over and over into the ether, begging for an end to the pain in my heart and in my head.

I stopped abruptly as I thought I had heard something from the chaos. Not an audible sound, but the sound of someone screaming in their mind. But not just anyone. Bella. I heard it again and turned in every direction, disoriented, trying to figure out where it was coming from.

"Bella? Bella! I can hear you! Talk to me! Where are you?!" I said frantically. I turned to where I thought the 'voice' had come from and whispered "Bella? Talk to me, Bella. Where are you?" There was no answer. She wasn't there. I was imagining things. I stumbled and fell to the ground, my head in my hands. In that moment I wasn't sure if I could go on.

"Bella, I'm sorry! I'm sorry I couldn't help you. I am sorry that you lost your parents. I'm sorry for everything. A part of me wants to say that I am sorry that we ever met. I'm sorry I came into your life and tore you away from the people you love by making you what I am. I want to say that, and yet I can't, because ultimately I am not sorry for that." I gasped as the vibration shook me to my core and my vision left me.

"I would do it all again tenfold to have you by my side. Maybe that makes me crazy. I'm pretty sure it makes me an awful person. After all of this time, and everything I've done, it would be hard to argue to the contrary. But I want you to know that whether I am awful, or I've lost my mind, I love you. I will never stop loving you. You are strong. I know you are hurting now, but you will endure. We will endure. We will be together again." I groaned as I fell to the ground, staring, unseeing, up into the missing sky.

In that moment, Dr. Peruro's words finally made perfect sense to me. I had been so caught up in how poorly I was doing at solving Bella's problems that I was unable to truly be there for her in the moment. I was constantly looking for ways to repair Bella, so that she could be happy again, and that is ultimately where I had failed her. I couldn't fix her. She had to fix herself. And it looked as if my failings might have cost us all.

* **************CHAPTER END*****************


	25. Acknowledgements

ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS

First, and foremost, the biggest thank you to Stephenie Meyer for creating the work that brings us all together time and time again.

To Twyla Moore and Cheryl Gafforini for adopting me at my first Forever Twilight in Forks and always listening to my Twilight plot ramblings.

To Max Gray ( koalamuffins) for encouraging me to keep going and for being my fan even though you aren't a fan of the material.

To my sister Karen, for always thinking I'm awesome and reminding me that stubbornness runs in the family.

To Shandra "ShAro" Mutchie, for helping me to see Aro and the Volturi as more than villains.

To Melisa Bello, for the late nights, hours of back and forth, and exceptional enthusiasm that kept me inspired.

To Jamie Kelley, for being a cheerleader for all of my re-writes, and for your inspirational music.

T o all of my beta readers and Facebook friends for your kind words, helpful criticisms, and inspiring excitement.


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